Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy...so we have a blockbuster ending to this chapter and I liked it I think. We were building to something big in this chapter and finally we did get a suitably payoff for all that tension being built. The escape was the only bit I felt was a bit unrealistic, but most of this chapter was pretty satisfying as a few things were finally concluded to some extent.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Léonard pushed the door a little to the side. Claire could hear everything now. More shots rang out. Panicked screams echoed through the castle. No music sounded.
"What happened? Emma!"
"Wait here. I'll go and see."
He rushed into the corridor and disappeared instantly. Restlessly, Claire sat down in an armchair. Her legs trembled. Her mouth dried up. She could no longer even swallow. Why was she so upset? Because of Léonard's departure? Because of Emma?
OKay...so the gunshots happened right then....well that's an interesting development. With how this was written earlier I genuinely thought that the gunshots just came earlier and Léonard was telling Claire about it...well this just makes things much more urgent..and well of course Léonard predictably runs away immediately...and this time I honestly don't know if he knew this was going to happen or whether he was also genuinely taken by surprise.
She could not remain seated for long. Time stood still. Claire followed him downstairs. She no longer picked up gunshots, but screams that grew louder. Crowds were at the exit. She almost stumbled down the last steps when a row of guests pushed her out of the castle.
"Emma!"
No matter how hard she tried to get through the gates, she could not find her way out of the seemingly endless mass of people. Further and further out she was taken until she stood in front of the orchard. With a leap, Claire was overwhelmed as Emma dropped down on top of her.
Both spoke the name of the other person at the same time. Both immediately received a wave of relief. Claire could finally stop imagining the various deaths of Emma. She didn't know what to say. Her friend was safe and sound. Nothing had happened.
Ahh..well that is definitely a relief there. I was worried about poor Emma who was almost passed out there all by herself, Claire probably should've come up with something because she just ended up doing exactly what she condemned Léonard to do.
"Someone shot that man!"
Claire was confused.
"Who?"
"This man, this Imperial Leader or something. Everyone saw it, she ignored us."
"She? “
"It was a woman."
"Really?"
Emma nodded.
"She was all hooded up! But when she took off her hood you could see her long hair!”
Claire thought.
Ohhh...okay...long hair is probably not going to be enough for us to fully identify this assailant or maybe it is. I don't quite know. We have definitely at least three seperate women who seem to fall into a category that could pull this sort of thing off and I don't remember their descriptions well enough to be able to narrow it down here.
Why should the Imperial Territory Leader be shot? Is it politically motivated? Is Léonard behind it?
As if Emma could read minds, she immediately asked for Léonard.
"He came to check on you!"
"I haven't met him anywhere."
She was wide-eyed.
"He'll be back to the library! I should wait there!"
Emma pulled her friend closer and dragged her to the castle. The number of guests running out became fewer. They spread out on the street. While sirens of police cars could be heard in the background, they ran into the building.
Okay...well it looks like they are now looking for Léonard which for once makes sense cause the twins have also left and he is pretty much the only person that they know out of this castle to help them even get home after a mess of this magnitude although I doubt they will let any of the guests leave the castle until the police have questioned everyone, this sort of thing tends to get police very suspicious of everyone involved.
Claire and Emma were standing in the library.
"He's not here," Emma muttered.
They raced back down the stairs, hand in hand. Where was Léonard? In front of the castle, they could see the count trying to calm the people. No one seemed to care that two young women had raced past him.
In the rose garden, they sat down on the grass. Claire explained that they needed to think clearly now. The shock was no longer present. What happened, happened. The perpetrator had nothing to do with them. Over the wall they heard a policeman, very probably from the HePo, calming the crowd.
"What are we going to do? Without Léonard, we're screwed."
Well, that's CLaire moving past a death very quickly, on one hand I can agree with that. She didn't see it happen in front of her eyes and she was far off and it wasn't anyone she knew so perhaps the shock wears off once things start to calm down but Emma especially who by the sound of things actually saw the person got shot should be reacting a bit more strongly here considering a person just died in front of her, that sort of shock takes days to wear off usually, and Emma isn't the most strong-willed of people.
Claire thought.
Where is Léonard? He's looking for Emma. She's with me. He's not at the agreed place. Is he hiding somewhere? Could he have left without us? No... that's impossible.
"Ladies, please move outside the castle walls."
An HePo came to them.
He spoke of a lock picking and that the perpetrator must still be inside. Between the hustle and bustle of the people, where the count and countess were lost, Claire and Emma recognised his car. He continued to rest among his own kind.
Okay...well that's not the sort of thing I'd expect there. The police especially in a situation where such an important leader just got killed should lockdown the area and take a statement at the very least from everyone who witnessed the killing...they won't just be shepherding people out like that.
Amidst the murmurs of the crowd, shots rang out again after a few minutes. A surge of panic scared the group away. It was divided into many smaller units that wanted to flee across the street. Like few, the two waited tensely in their places. There was nowhere they could flee. Léonard was gone for the time being.
Then an HePo crawled out of the building and propped himself up at the entrance. Small-faced and with a bloodstained uniform, he called for help several times before closing his eyes. Another ran out, yelling something about two people. That's when Claire's ears perked up. Her thoughts turned to him.
OKayy....well, I guess we know where the second set of shots come from. It looks like the police just got everyone out of the castle area somehow and tried to catch the shooters who ended up shooting them? I feel like this piece is a little bit unclear with the whereabouts of all of this stuff. Its all happening rather fast and its becoming a touch too difficult to understand what is happening where here.
Léonard and that woman... it's them... of course...
"Emma, we have to get back to the castle. He's still in there."
"What!? What makes you think that?"
"The perpetrator probably belongs to Mönchsberg Abbey."
Emma made no reply.
She let Claire lead her. They passed the second HePo without being noticed. Hastily they felt their way through the vestibule. Where were they supposed to be? Léonard was with them. The gate to the ballroom was closed. Could he be there? She dreaded to think of a corpse rotting somewhere. But she had to make sure he hadn't been shot.
Okayy...well there it looks like everything is just completely empty inside the castle with the guest being evacuated and they are trying to catch a glimpse of the inside to follow up on Léonard and see if he was also shot which at the moment is pretty surprising, considering all the horrible things that he has done so far....but the part that I find a bit hard to believe is them sneaking past the police. Shouldn't they be a bit more alert than that given the current situation? Or ar the HePo just that bad at their jobs?
A quick glance was enough.
There was nothing to see. Unless he was hiding behind the tables or one of the sofas. Claire was reassured that she saw nothing unexpected. Her pulse continued to be at top speed. Her lungs had never been filled with more oxygen. The scratchy esophagus and sudden exhaustion, the racing sentences and voice in her head...
She could do nothing. She pulled Emma behind her. She did not fight back.
They examined the entire castle in a rush.
Almost every single door was opened. There was no one left in the entire castle. Several times Claire buckled and let go of Emma. When she tried to get up again, she took off her shoes and ran barefoot with Emma.
OKay...so they are just continuing their search of the castle somehow without being stopped by anyone. I still find it very hard to believe, sure its a big place and they're just two people but this seems to suggest a serious lack of ability on the part of the HePo here. The ones who did the shooting probably moonwalked away while cackling and the HePo weren't there to see it.
Only on the balcony could they hear voices. More HePo sirens brought the valley to life. A shout of hope and the warm and confident power of the policemen bringing back the stray sheep. Claire held on to the balustrade and caught her breath.
"Where is he?"
She sounded angry.
Again, she pulled Emma by the hand. Emma didn't get a chance to say anything.
The blind chase finally ended abruptly in the Bosquet when Claire slipped and landed in a pond with Emma.
"What are you doing?" gushed Emma.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."
Okay..so Emma's current situation is also a bit surprising. She should at least be a bit weak and staggering at the moment. If she was drunk enough to be delirious and pass out for a bit I don't see how she can do any of this right now. Adrenaline is a factor, but not this much of a factor. From context it also seems like this is maybe the first time Emma's even drunk this much so she should be having so much more difficulty just walking at the moment.
Only with difficulty do they climb soaked onto the meadow. With the last of their strength, they threw themselves into the dry. Emma only had eyes for herself. She sulked over her dress. It was dirty and wet. There were holes in some places. She had lost a bracelet that she had worn in the morning somewhere.
Claire, on the other hand, was blindsided. Léonard landed on the floor in front of them.
"Here you are."
"You jumped down from up there?" they both asked at the same time.
He looked up with a proud smile. In the sunshine, a figure was dimly discernible. Was it someone from the HePo? Or someone from the abbey?
"Come with me. We have to leave as soon as possible."
And of course he just arrives again and pretends like absolutely nothing is wrong. Well, isn't that fun. I can now say almost for certain that he had something to do with this killing and is now probably going to use these two as a method to get away safely before probably abandoning them again once he's at a safe distance.
They did not have the chance to say anything. With throbbing legs, they trotted after him as he ran through the Bosquet to the barn. There were horses inside.
Is he seriously planning to escape like this?
Without a great show of strength, he jumped onto the animal after he let out a sigh.
“I thought the count must have a car somewhere…”
"Léonard..."
"What is it?" he said briefly, seeing their problem.
He helped them up and ordered them to hold on tight.
"We ride up the mountain path through the rose garden to the tree stand."
"What tree stand?” Emma asked.
"Follow me."
Yeah this is all pre planned by Léonard. That much is very clear here and he is clearly aware of everything that is happening right now. Also I'm not saying there's no chance these two know how to ride a horse....but riding a horse while drunk? I don't know if that's possible. Even if Léonard is the one controlling the horse, keeping your balance in a situation like this and with dresses...they're both wearing dresses right? This is just not very realistic at the moment. I can't imagine this scene actually working..it'd be more realistic for them to just run.
They took a narrow, almost unrecognisable path upwards. Gradually they realised that they were safe. No one could harm them, except for the kidnapping of three presumably prize purebred horses.
For Claire and Emma, it must have been the worst day. Wet, due to the heat, aiding and abetting theft, probably murder as well... Now they waded through the denser forest on horseback. Mosquitoes buzzed over pools. A dragonfly was at Emma's side, which she did not notice.
Léonard deliberately blocked Claire's questions. He kept repeating his words to ride to the tree stand. From there it was not far to Kapellengarten.
There seemed to be no end to it and a raised hide was nowhere in sight. At some point, when the spruces were further apart, the distance between Léonard and them increased. He rode faster and faster without looking behind. He did not respond to calls. Attempts to catch him up failed because of the animal. After a ride that seemed like hours, they found the meeting place described.
So they just ride on for that long after stealing prize horses. THe first part of the plan was really nicely laid out, very believable and also quite smart. This escape plan so far has been both a not very smart decision to take and also not very practical. You might want to rethink this whole escape or at the very least make Emma less drunk in the previous scenes, that's the biggest issue. Also why I say this is not very smart is that now they have committed yet another crime by stealing these horses and if they are purebred prize horses, a lot of people will look for them and probably recognize them very easily.
Léonard was not there.
There, Claire and Emma sat alone next to the wooden structure, in the middle of an unknown forest. The stony ground mixed with little moss and muddy patches did not give the animals the right opportunity to graze.
Rather, Claire and Emma had to concentrate on their situation. Claire tearfully brought her friend to her senses. After a good quarter of an hour, they reconstructed the entire course of the day.
They always came to the same conclusion; Léonard had left them alone. He used the whole farce to remove her from the scene and finally disappear himself.
OKay..so well absolutely no one is surprised in the slightest and well let's just all move on with our day. Léonard is just being himself here. They just brought all of this upon themselves. Honestly the decision Emma made that other time to follow Léonard after he mysteriously ran away for the first time has just completely put her on the wrong track in life here.
Late in the evening, shortly before nightfall, they returned to Kapellengarten. They took the same route as the siblings after leaving the two horses at the tree stand. The horses were found the next morning by the HePo and brought back.
Several times Emma pointed out what she was so upset about. Why did they have to look for him so urgently?
The conversation was about him. It was no longer just Emma who wanted to follow him. Claire had to see him again. Only to punch him in the face.
What did he steal? A book never fit in his inside pocket, did it? What about Karoline and Stephan? Was Mönchsberg Abbey present? Who killed the Imperial Territory Leader? Did someone try to frame him or was he responsible?
I honestly think he is one of those people that don't even deserve you wasting time to punch them in the face, but I'll support Claire if she goes through with that plan. Also I like how you just did a quick highlight reel of all the craziness from this chapter so we get a small summary of all the questions that we should be looking for answers to.
Claire's pulse had calmed down by now. She was getting hungry and shivery.
"Where is he? I want to throw everything at him, I´ll start with these shoes," Emma grumbled when she could already see the town.
“You can throw mine at him too,” Claire said and threw her shoes into the bushes, ”He will never want to see us again. We were stupid. Karoline and Stephan noticed it from the start, and we fell for it."
"They are stupid! Why didn't they tell us? They never warned us! Stupid Karoline and stupid Stephan."
"Stephan would never have said it anyway, he doesn't get anything," Claire said, "Didn't you see it when he appeared in front of us? His jump?"
Emma nodded.
"Exactly. How did he not get a scratch?"
"You didn't see it?"
"What? Claire, I'm tired and I want to get out of here!"
"His suit had several holes in the back. Someone tried to shoot him."
Okay...I guess you wanted to end on a bit of suspense there for that whole situation. It seems maybe they are finally seeing Léonard for who he is, so that's good, but they are also now somewhat mad at the twins which is also quite fair I think, if they knew this entire plan before it happened or at least Karoline did, then its wrong of them to take no action and just run away. Sometime doing nothing is worse than being the one doing the horrible thing like Léonard. Also a tiny nitpick, Léonard's injury discussion aside, how does him having holes in his suit suggest him being shot? It not like he's got a bulletproof vest under his suit or something right? If there is a hole in the suit, there should be a hole in the person I would assume? Or is Léonard Superman? Did he steal the suit of whoever got shot? I think maybe the last one is all that makes sense unless he used his suit as a shield or a distraction...I don't know...I enjoy analyzing scenes involving things like that so I nitpick wayy to much...xD
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I think it was a good chapter. Some big things happened here and I feel like maybe we're approaching a mid point to the story...or are we? I don't know. This feels like sort of maybe the end of this second arc in the story. We had the arc of introduction to all the character and the world history, then we have this first big incident with a lot of conflict. I feel like the next chapter onwards will be a different arc where Emma and Claire have to cope with all this. Anyways, I am soo close to being caught up. Just two more chapters. Hopefully I can catch up before chapter 11 is posted.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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