Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


how to treat a case of powdery mildew

by Magebird


how to treat a case of powdery mildew

you’ve spent hours
tilling soiling and pulling weeds
under the hot summer sun.
you’ve stained more shirts
with dirt and sweat
than you can possibly count.
you watched seeds reach towards
the bright blue sky
and green buds become
little sundrops in a sea of viridian fans.

but the fans are turning white
even though the winter’s first snow
is still months away.
you douse your crops
in fungicides and neem oil
and every chemical underneath
a man-made, factory-run sun.

the leaves become a pale imitation
of their vibrant flowers.
they brown and shrivel.
the squash is left exposed
to unforgiving UV rays.

count your losses.
pull the plants out
one-by-one
until you’re staring at
a sea of dark, moist soil.

and when the sweat beads
on the nape of your neck,
dig your shovel back into the
sturdy earth
and begin the cycle anew.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
254 Reviews


Points: 1622
Reviews: 254

Donate
Sat Nov 21, 2020 3:30 am
View Likes
silented1 says...



Favorite line: "a man-made, factory-run sun."




Magebird says...


Thanks! :)



User avatar
79 Reviews


Points: 2990
Reviews: 79

Donate
Fri Nov 20, 2020 2:01 am
View Likes
Stellarjay wrote a review...



Hey Magebird,
First off, I wish I could write like this, and secondly this is such a beautiful poem! Like I said in another review, I will not be reviewing on your style choice or anything like that because I am a strong believer that each poem is unique in it's own way.

An Interpretation
First off, the different parallels in the message are amazing and cleverly crafted. The garden your writing about is like the garden in your heart. You have to pull out the weeds and the things you don't want in it. Making sure that the invasive weeds don't choke out the beautiful flowers. Once the weeds are gone you can focus on growing new plants and expanding your garden. Just like growing in different areas of your life, it may take a long time and require a lot of effort on your part. Yet sometimes the seedlings die, and you have to start all over again. When the seedlings do survive, the reward is the best feeling ever!

Some lines that I loved

you watched seeds reach towards
the bright blue sky
and green buds become
little sundrops in a sea of viridian fans.

It just made me feel as if all my effort has paid off. It also brought in my mind an image of new life and just a very special moment.

the leaves become a pale imitation
of their vibrant flowers.
they brown and shrivel.
the squash is left exposed
to unforgiving UV rays.

That feeling of defeat just hit home with me. All the sweat and love you put into this beautiful plant, just so it could die. At least it was beautiful while it lasted!

dig your shovel back into the
sturdy earth
and begin the cycle anew.

I wish I had this motivation to start over.

Last thoughts
So, this was a very beautiful poem. The way you presented it was lovely, it made it a joy to read. All in all, you did a wonderful job! If you have any questions feel free to ask. Have a great rest of your day and keep on writing!
Stellar




Magebird says...


Thank you so much for your review! I don't know if I've ever read one of your poems before, but I'm sure they're amazing. <3 <3 Everyone has different styles for writing, and there's nothing wrong with having one of your own.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the symbolism and imagery of the poem! It's definitely one of my favorite poems I've ever written. <3



User avatar
10 Reviews


Points: 46
Reviews: 10

Donate
Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:32 am
View Likes
Wallflower23 wrote a review...



Goodness gracious! I love this sooo much!! I really love the metaphor that your mental health is this little garden that you work to cultivate. Its really accurate because your emotions change naturally, like the seasons, and even if you want to have full control of them, no matter what methods you employ you may not be able to govern your mental health. So then when then seem dire you replant, and help it grow again. That line "Begin the cycle anew." was so lovely and fitting. I adore it.

I also really love the imagery you employ. Specifically "a sea of dark, moist soil." That was such a beautiful line. So was "stained more shirts with dirt and sweat" and "and when the sweat beads on the nape of your neck, dig your shovel back into the sturdy earth"



Man I just really love this. The only thing that bugs me is that the letters of a new.. whats the word? Not Stanza... Essentially the new sentence after you add a period to the end of a line should be capitalized.

Well done deary! Stay stunning!!




smokeyyyy says...


yup, I can confirm this is what I meant, but you are like 1000x better at writing reviews than I am. so you can literally just scratch my review and I second her's xD



Wallflower23 says...


Lol thanks sweets! This felt pretty messy and muddled to me but I tried my best! I liked what you said about gardening and the connections you made to it In your review as well!!



Magebird says...


Thank you so much for your review, @Wallflower23, and for seconding it, @smokeyyyy! I'm glad both of you liked my poem. <3

And I'm glad the ties to mental health came across! I heard a guest speaker in one of my classes mention that sometimes it's easier to let a garden grow than try to fight a disease in it, and I immediately drew parallels to how stubborn I can be with challenges. I just had to write a poem on it. :)



User avatar
6 Reviews


Points: 543
Reviews: 6

Donate
Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:10 am
View Likes
smokeyyyy wrote a review...



Being a gardener myself I might be partial towards this poem, so excuse me if I seem a little bit biased through my review.
This poem is amazing. It describes a cycle that every gardener experiences through trial and error. It also describes the life cycle of all plants, and how, as the seasons change, we get to watch them grow and grow, until eventually their season comes to an end, and we once again plant new crops using the nutrients of that same soil. I really like the use of the word 'anew', as it sort of frames the end of the process and the start of a new season.
As far as word usage goes, the personification is everything in this poem. I really like the way you use phrases like 'you watched seeds reach towards the bright blue sky' and 'until you’re staring at a sea of dark, moist soil.' The word usage here is really what makes the poem so unique and special in my eyes. This poem has a beautiful flow that seemingly rolls of your tongue with grace.
I can honestly say that this poem is actually one of my favorites on this site, as it's something that, as a gardener, I can definitely relate to.
10/10 :D




Magebird says...


Thank you so much for your review! I'm not sure if you saw the post I made on my wall about this poem, but it was actually inspired by a guest speaker in one of my classes - she works in community garden programs near my campus. I've only just gotten into gardening myself and started with flowers, so it's great getting a review from someone with a little more experience. <3

I'm really glad you liked my poem, and thank you so much for leaving a review on it! :)



User avatar
31 Reviews


Points: 2326
Reviews: 31

Donate
Fri Nov 20, 2020 12:29 am
View Likes
luminescence says...



Oh gosh, this is amazing! <3




Magebird says...


Thank you! :)




A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.
— Franz Kafka