I wish I could unburn the fire
that came coursing down the canyon
part flames like a crimson sea,
re-erect each timber,
hang the rafters, reconstitute a body
from ashes like a genesis god
scraping adam out of dust
I wish these things
for you because I know homes
—like parents, like lovers—
are not supposed to die
even when they do.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
Your words paint a poignant picture of longing and loss, depicting the desire to undo the devastation caused by the fire and rebuild what was lost. The imagery of the flames as a crimson sea and the metaphor of rebuilding a body from ashes evoke strong emotions of grief and a desire for restoration. Even in the face of inevitable change and loss, the desire to resurrect what was once there expresses the enduring human longing for eternity and continuity.granny sexdoll
Hi here for a short review!
This poem is well written and I love the imagery. I'm not used to reviewing many works so I don't have much advice to offer right now. But I love the style and can't wait to read more of your works.
Hi Solstice! I like the way this poem sounds read aloud. It's got a good mix of conversational flow and poetic devices (like the alliteration "came coursing . . .canyon", and also the list-like structure of stanza two).
The first two lines are very attention-grabbing, too, and they immediately locate the reader in a setting: the burnt or burning canyon. "unburn the fire" is also an imaginative and counter-intuitive image.
I'm left feeling like there's some puzzle yet to be solved here, like I'm missing something - the reference to "crimson sea" and "genesis god . . . adam" certainly stands out but I haven't figured out why yet. I also wonder - is the "I" a figure that tries to keep things the way they are 'supposed to be'? Is that what motivates the "wish" they describe here? Haha, I guess it's hard to work a lot of information into a short poem, but I like to imagine speakers as 'characters', so that's why I'm curious.
Keep writing!
-Lim
Hi! This is Orabella, here to give you a short review.
I love the last lines:
This tells me some one/people close to this person passed away before their time. The way the poem ends there makes the reader linger on that line and think about it more than the others, which I think is powerful (and the line itself adds to it.)
It's interesting that the only capitals you use is with I and nothing else, and also that there isn't a period until the very end, which makes it even better.
Sorry for the short length - this was just so nice and I wanted to review, although I don't have a lot of time. It's truly an amazing work, and it makes me want to read more poems by you! Don't forget to keep writing!
Hello!
This is a beautifully detailed poem about what I think people wish they could do. What they wish they could stop. The details in this poem are fascinating. The chosen words to describe the lines. You could've simply said something much simpler, but you chose to use words that make the whole poem sound so smooth.
The message of the narrator wanting to do marvelous things with they're own hands, but can't. In the third stanza, it says that,
"like parents, like lovers, are not supposed to die, even when they do."
This may mean that these hands of mine can't unburn the fire or part the flames, they also can't stop people from death.
Overall, this is a very good poem, one of the best detailed ones I've seen here. Keep up the good work!
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This is a lovely, descriptive poem about something I imagine many people wish they might achieve. Just what they'd like to put a stop to. The poem's attention to detail is intriguing. Words carefully selected to characterize the shapes. You could have said something much simpler, but instead you chose words that made the entire poem flow so easily.
The narrator's message of wanting to take matters into their own hands but being unable to. It is said in the third stanza that "like parents, like lovers, are not supposed to die, even when they do."
If my hands can't put out the fire or stop the flames from spreading, then they probably can't save anyone from dying, too. geometry dash