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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

State to State - 1.1

by Brigadier


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Sherlock - no, Arthur - repeated Emily’s instructions over in his head a few times before answering the pounding at the door. No one ever seemed to be polite when asking for their attention and Emily usually added in a few choice words. It was not an easy comparison to his own method of timidly opening the door and trying to remember the name she chose to assign this week.

His hand shook on the door handle and carefully watched it creek open. There was a young man standing on the stoop in a cheap black suit that was made to look very professional and very threatening. Sherlock looked down at his shoes for more details but interrupted by a hand being shoved at him.

"Good morning. Where's Emily?"

"She's just upstairs getting ready."

The man's hand remained in the shaking position with his own as the "suit" stepped inside. Emily had been making him watch enough detective and spy movies lately to pick up all of the right terms. She said it was part of his education for the modern century but Sherlock had other theories as to that matter.

"Ah, so you must be her friend Arthur?"

"Yes. And you're Agent Torrio?"

Finally the hand shake ended with, "Yes, Joe Torrio at your service."

The checkpoints in Sherlock's mind were making the wrong assumptions for someone being at his service. He quickly shut the mechanism off and took Torrio into the kitchen.

"Care for a cup of tea? Or coffee?"

"Well I don't know how long she'll be so I'll take a cup of tea. What's she doing up there?"

Sherlock didn't like the hints in Turrio's voice. And judging from the re-runs sitcoms from last night, the man was probably playing into the common trope. It crafted a certain sort of response in his mind.

"Emily? Probably making some last minute touches to polishing her revolver or one of her knives."

Detective special.

That's what she said the revolver was called. Maybe she could use it on this special detective, make it live up to the name.

The kettle boiled quickly and Sherlock set the mug of tea on the table, cringing as Torrio drank the tasteless hot water. Even he would have insisted on letting it stay for a moment or two. There was no appeal in drinking boiling hot water and destroying your throat. But it was evidently the common practice.

Luckily their awkward silence was broken by the fourth step creaking and the clicking of Emily's boots against the living room linoleum. The cat stepped from by the stove and the dog got up from its bed, just like they always did when she came into the room. Sherlock knew that no matter how much she blamed it on her charms, it was simply because the creatures hated the sight of him.

"Hope you two had fun while waiting on me. With this new case I had to dig up my favorite pair of fighting boots."

Sherlock leaned back against the stove while Turrio asked, "Why are these so special? And more importantly, why do you have more than one pair of fighting boots?"

"These have retractable knives and spines, and why would you alone have one pair?"

It was all going fine until she leaned down to kiss Turrio lightly on the cheek. He almost leaned back into the still warm burner, completely distracted as Emily tinkered in the kitchen.

"Where's the bottle opener?"

"Hmm?"

"The bottle opener? Oh, the drain board. Drinking late at night, again?"

He sighed while dodging the peach NeHi cap that flew past his head and landed in the sink. They walked slowly out of the kitchen, going back through the front door and climbing into Torrio's rather boring car. Maybe Emily didn't feel right about taking the Plymouth on hunts anymore.

Not since that vampire had left stains in the upholestery.

Right before she closed the passenger door, he remembered to shout, "Be careful."

"Darling, I'd worry more about yourself.

The car was gone and he was left alone with the television and a cold cup of tea.

Just a regular Tuesday.


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415 Reviews


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Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:26 pm
keystrings wrote a review...



Alright, let's see.

This serves a nice opener for this story - the reader can learn about Sherlock's current situation and what could possibly be going on. With him reminding himself of the new name he had to go by is an interesting detail that seems to indicate something else is happening here - supernatural genre, false names, just to name the first two hints. I'm curious to see where this story takes the reader.

I love that we get a look into Sherlock's brain here, and his relationship with Emily as well. The snippets of information he gleans from a quick glance at Agent Torrio, the mention of being forced to learn about the modern day from a lot of movies, ending with whatever interesting thing he could have assumed from the "suit" at that first meeting. I just think it's neat to read this from an assumed Sherlock figure here who's a bit awkward and closer to like the original version of him and not the polished, modern version of the BBC show.

Also, I'm curious to see more of this Emily character, even if we get a chapter from her view, as the details the reader gets about her make this story even more like an interesting blend of genres. She gives different names to go by, she's clearly awesome and an apparent hunter of sorts? And there's something between her and Torrio which oooh, drama is always fun to catch up on and add to.

Overall, I like the casual drop of Torrio being a vampire, the nice banter between Sherlock and Emily, and that there's enough information here to make me curious as to what else could happen.




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Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:01 pm
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FruityBickel wrote a review...



He quickly shut the mechanism off


Love this bit, as if his brain is a computer with parts he can just turn on and off at will.

"Emily? Probably making some last minute touches to polishing her revolver or one of her knives."


10/10, great response.

Maybe she could use it on this special detective, make it live up to the name.


Not sure if this is supposed to come as protectiveness or jealousy, but it reads with venom either way. 'Detective special' and 'special detective' work really well together.

The kettle boiled quickly and Sherlock set the mug of tea on the table, cringing as Torrio drank the tasteless hot water. Even he would have insisted on letting it stay for a moment or two. There was no appeal in drinking boiling hot water and destroying your throat. But it was evidently the common practice.


First of all, ick. You have to let tea steep, my dude. But anyway, I feel like the last sentence isn't really needed? It just reads a bit clunkily and awkwardly, and it doesn't really do much as far as giving me information. Maybe expand on it a bit, or cut it out.

Not since that vampire had left stains in the upholestery.


Assuming the vampire is Torrio? I also love the venom evident in this, if it is Torrio, by referring to him as 'that vampire' rather than by his name.


This was interesting to read. I love the portrayal of an awkward, almost bumbling Sherlock Holmes as compared to the usual BBC version. We talked a bit about this Sherlock being more along the lines of the original ACD version, and I think he lives up to it.

I'm looking forward to learning more about Emily as a character, as well as her history with this Torrio guy. The fighting boots was an interesting thing to hone in on, made me really wonder what exactly her profession is. I look forward to reading more and seeing how this progresses.

Keep writing,

o.s.e.k




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Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:33 pm
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BluesClues wrote a review...



The checkpoints in Sherlock's mind were making the wrong assumptions for someone being at his service.


Is, uh, is Sherlock assuming something dirty here? Asking for a friend.

I have to say, from what I remember of State to State before, this is a lot clearer! It makes for a really interesting opening that's sure to draw readers in - from wondering if this is, in fact, the Sherlock Holmes (which I don't wonder because I've read part of this story before) to the agent, to the kiss and the reaction to it, to the Supernatural vibes of the car and the vampire stains and the mentions of hunting. For the most part, I was able to keep up with what was going on a lot more easily than I could in the last draft, although after Turrio backed into the burner I sort of lost track of which "he" we were talking about. At the end I'm 1000% sure it's Sherlock, but in the interim I'm not sure whether it's Sherlock or Joe with whom she's talking about drinking and a bottle opener and throwing a hat at.

Otherwise, I'm extremely interested in Sherlock just because on the one hand he does seem like the deducing Sherlock Holmes we're all familiar with in some form or another, but on the other hand his apparent nervousness at the start, meeting with Joe, and his need to remember the fake name Emily's given him give him a different flavor than the usual cold, emotionless, calculating, confident Sherlock. So I really like that.

And of course I'm interested in Joe and Emily's history in that he'd come to her house as an agent but she'd kiss him on the cheek but he'd be like "whoa oh no she kissed me." Although again from the prior draft, I have at least an inkling.





A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
— Honore de Balzac