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Snooze

by Logan15


BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

I need more sleep.

Snooze.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

I still need more sleep.

Snooze.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

Give me more sleep….

Snooze.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

I am awakened by the clang.

"Wake up!"


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89 Reviews

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Reviews: 89

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Tue May 28, 2024 3:14 am
Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello Hello, I hope you don't mind me popping in with a quick review. I will also apologize since this might not be my most in-depth review. Overall this is a very short but effective poem. As a night owl, this is also quite relatable I do not wake up super quickly. I don't have much to give feedback on instead I will say I deeply enjoyed the use of sound in this work. It puts the reader into the moment and mindset of the poem.

As always keep writing and drink water!




Logan15 says...


Thank you!! Take care of yourself too!



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Sat Mar 02, 2024 4:11 pm
Snoink wrote a review...



Awwww, I like this poem! It uses lots of onomatopoeia and is highly relatable for anyone who wants to get another couple minutes. I also like the rule of three -- you had the snooze go for three times, until finally the banging sound commences, which kind of ends the poem on a loud note. It reminds me of the cute kid poems that I read to my kids, which also makes me happy. Very nice! :)

I dooo sort of wonder who says, "Wake up!" But, ultimately, that isn't very important overall to the poem, so that's okay, lol.

Well done! :)




Logan15 says...


Thank you so much! :)



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355 Reviews

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Sat Mar 02, 2024 4:04 pm
LadySpark wrote a review...



This was cute! I enjoyed the realism and simplicity of it. It kind of reminds me of a where the sidewalk ends poem. You really put me in the shoes and headspace of someone who doesn't want to get up but is rudely and roughly awakened by something external. While I do think you could have pushed for a little more imagery and substance, it's not necessary for it to be effective. Maybe next time you can think about the touch, taste, smell, and other senses associated with this experience.




User avatar
355 Reviews

Points: 2099
Reviews: 355

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Sat Mar 02, 2024 4:03 pm
LadySpark says...



This was cute! I enjoyed the realism and simplicity of it. It kind of reminds me of a where the sidewalk ends poem. You really put me in the shoes and headspace of someone who doesn't want to get up but is rudely and roughly awakened by something external. While I do think you could have pushed for a little more imagery and substance, it's not necessary for it to be effective. Maybe next time you can think about the touch, taste, smell, and other senses associated with this experience.




Logan15 says...


Thank you!! :)




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