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The Shenanigans of Ruby Oak and Her Crew: The Adventurer Association

by LizzAndTheNifflers, none


This is the first part of a series of short stories revolving around these characters! In this part of the series the characters are being introduced and the adventure begins!

Have you ever considered how many islands humankind has never discovered? Well somewhere, just outside the edge of the atmosphere, hovered approximately 50. One of the these Sky Islands was remarkably larger and more modern then the rest. It's scenery resembled something along the lines of the human, New York City. Except this shiny city carried the name of "Pvenia" and was filled with people unlike ourselves. 

On a quaint Pvenian street sat a small shop and with the most obnoxiously bold and messy lettering imaginable, the words "The Gemstones Adventurer Agency" were painted on it. No-one was present in this building yet, it was quiet, oh so quie- 'I SWEAR TO GOD RUBY IF YOU MAKE US CHASE ANOTHER CAT THROUGH THE ENTIRE CITY I WILL KILL YOU!' 

A disrupting young man had burst through the door of the agency. He carried mighty ink black wings on his back and he had black markings on his left arm, and one on the left side of his cheek and jaw too. In addition to these natural markings the boy seemed to be covered in mud and rainwater. 

Behind him four more gloomy looking teenagers dragged themselves through the door. They too were covered in nature's favorite materials.

'Look Birdbrain, that old lady wanted us to find her cat, ye can't decline an adventure!' A girl with green skin and floppy ears snapped as she threw herself on the nearest armchair in the adventurer's lounge. "Birdbrain" gave her an exhausted, annoyed look, and he also crashed on to the nearest piece of furniture in the lounge, which happened to be a barstool. The other three adventurers settled as well. 

'Ruby, Onyx is not wrong, we might need to be more selective about which requests we choose to fulfill. It is up to the public safety workers to take care of minor things such as missing pets, adventurers have the job of exploring the unknown islands and solving mysteries right?' A girl with white hair that bundled into a short choppy bob explained calmly. From the sides of her almost iridescent bob, poked out two pointy elf ears.

Ruby began talking something about how she was the leader of the squad but was silenced when her boyfriend, Kye, the boy with brown stripes on his arms, and ears that resembled the fins of a lionfish, gave her a "for once I don't agree with youlook. He was probably the only person who could silence her stubbornness so he only used this magical ability when he had to.

 'Ugh, ye guys are right!' Ruby yelled in frustration as she pressed face into the flowery armchair cushion. 

'Don't fret Rubes, I know its not always easy being wrong" The only remaining unknown person in the room said. She was another girl who closely resembled a blue, tiefling-like, Dungeons and Dragons character. She too had white hair but it was waist length and less sparkly. 

Ruby began mumbling 'Molly, I can't tell if your mocking me or trying to comfort-'

A knock at the door.

'Is this the Gemstones Adventurer Agency?' a muffled voice from behind the door called.

The exhausted crew all moaned in fluent lazy. Molly rushed to the front computer desk and Ruby went to open the door. Behind the door was a distressed looking middle-aged centaur woman. Ruby started giving her speech about the adventurer society and how things worked in their agency when Onyx interrupted her. 

'With all due respect ma'am I would like to inform you that if your issue is a minor one we advice you to consult a public safety worker."

Ruby and the woman gave him an insulted look. 

'This is not a minor issue at all boy!" she exclaimed. 

"My son went missing on school field trip, while being on a completely different island." 

To be continued...


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Tue Jun 08, 2021 6:37 pm
InuYosha wrote a review...



Heyo! InuYosha here for a review!

First, that is quite a long title ahaha.

Anyways, we shall begin this review!

About the little note at the beginning- I would suggest you write something like "A/n" (Author's note) so the reader isn't that confused.

Have you ever considered how many islands humankind has never discovered? Well somewhere, just outside the edge of the atmosphere, hovered approximately 50. One of the these Sky Islands was remarkably larger and more modern then the rest. It's scenery resembled something along the lines of the human, New York City. Except this shiny city carried the name of "Pvenia" and was filled with people unlike ourselves.


I like how you start this with a question. It almost seems like you're writing an essay, which isn't a bad thing by the way. So I see your setting will probably be in this place called Pvenia. I'm already quite curious. How do they float? Why have satellites not detected them? Why can't people on Earth see them? The reader definitely cannot wait to uncover those secrets! Also, I want to comment on your choice of narration. I would assume in a story like this the narrator will have less of an opinion, but it seems to be that the narrator is human, because you wrote 'ourselves'. Since it's in past tense, I guess this is a story where a narrator is telling the story of the past.

On a quaint Pvenian street sat a small shop and with the most obnoxiously bold and messy lettering imaginable, the words "The Gemstones Adventurer Agency" were painted on it. No-one was present in this building yet, it was quiet, oh so quie- 'I SWEAR TO GOD RUBY IF YOU MAKE US CHASE ANOTHER CAT THROUGH THE ENTIRE CITY I WILL KILL YOU!'


I like the little joke here. The narrator seems to be sort of a second-person character now, which is nice. I haven't seen one of those in a while. By the way, I highly suggest you not to use all caps for sentences or even single words. I understand that you're putting emphasis, but the all caps makes the story seem very unprofessional.

Behind him four more gloomy looking teenagers dragged themselves through the door. They too were covered in nature's favorite materials.


Nature's favorite materials LOL.

'Look Birdbrain, that old lady wanted us to find her cat, ye can't decline an adventure!' A girl with green skin and floppy ears snapped as she threw herself on the nearest armchair in the adventurer's lounge.


This confused me a bit. The way the dialogue is written, you'd think the girl is being very cheerful, but instead you wrote that she 'snapped'. I can see it working out, but 'snapped' wouldn't have been my word choice.

Ruby began talking something about how she was the leader of the squad but was silenced when her boyfriend, Kye, the boy with brown stripes on his arms, and ears that resembled the fins of a lionfish, gave her a "for once I don't agree with you" look. He was probably the only person who could silence her stubbornness so he only used this magical ability when he had to.


Kye seems like an interesting character. And also . . . MAGICAL ABILITY WOAH.

"My son went missing on school field trip, while being on a completely different island."


This . . . is okay, I guess. The way you wrote it, it was so anticlimatic and took me a while to get what you were saying.

First, I would remove 'completely' and move 'missing' towards the end so it looks more like this:

My son went on a field trip to another island . . . and went missing.


Also, there's a few plot holes here.

1. Our protagonists are all children. You haven't explained why. They could be madly experienced, but still, it's best to explain that in the first chapter.

2. Why is this mother telling the people on her island? Wouldn't it be more logical to consult people on the island where her son went missing? It makes little sense, if you get what I mean.

Overall, this is a great story, but has a few small things that might need to be looked at. I hope you were satisfied with this review!

-InuYosha




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Sat May 08, 2021 4:20 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi LizzAndTheNifflers,

Maiilce here with a short review! :D

First of all, welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here.

Let's get started right away:

This is the first part of a series of short stories revolving around these characters! In this part of the series the characters are being introduced and the adventure begins!


I think it's so great that you give this kind of info to the reader. It sounds like the beginning of a series you watch on TV. It also acts as a great summary for the story.

Have you ever considered how many islands humankind has never discovered? Well somewhere, just outside the edge of the atmosphere, hovered approximately 50. One of these Sky Islands was remarkably larger and more modern then the rest.


I like your introduction very much. It starts with a good question and then builds to the world you want to introduce us to. But I think you jump from one point to another too quickly. You ask how many islands have never been discovered by mankind and then you jump to the sky islands. I would rephrase it a bit and add the Sky Islands right after the question or add another sentence; that some islands are not surrounded by a sea but by an ocean of clouds or something. That would also add interest and uniqueness.

No-one was present in this building yet, it was quiet, oh so quie-'I SWEAR TO GOD RUBY IF YOU MAKE US CHASE ANOTHER CAT THROUGH THE ENTIRE CITY I WILL KILL YOU!"


Up until the moment the first dialogue comes, it seems very well told. It's like an over-narrator floating from high up in the clouds to the islands and just about to tell the story until he is interrupted. It's a very exciting and also funny way of inserting some more funny moments that can lead indirectly between the narrator and the characters. I hope you add some of this in the chapters to come.

You bring in the characters in a fluid tone by introducing them just coming from a mission. This gives the story a certain dynamic. Especially for the first chapter, this is a good way to avoid a too long introduction. You can also quickly get an idea of what they look like because you have given them all very specific points that describe their appearance. Especially with the number of people, this was a good idea.

Since I assume that the Agency will be the group's headquarters for quite a while, I think it wouldn't be bad if there was a point where you as a reader learn a bit more about what it looks like inside. Because it amazed me that there was a computer there. :D

The story has a great ending that makes you want to read on. You've created an interesting group with the short presentation of the main characters.

Have a great rest of your writing!

Maiilce.






Ahhh, thank you so much, you have no idea how much reviews like this one mean to me!




Find wonder in the everyday, find everyday language to articulate it.
— Maurice Manning