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Young Writers Society


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A Painter & Writer's Magic [Chapter 20]

by Lib


Last Line(s): His blood in his brain pulsed. A headache was coming on. He was worried. About what? That maybe they would fail their mission, would be taken back to the dungeons, and executed.

Three meters.

There was a pop! and Herschel appeared before them in a shimmer of silver.

Chapter 20

Never had Obraya seen Herschel so calm. He looked as if they had just been talking about how many pounds of peaches were being sold at the market tomorrow morning. Two minutes of silence later, he sighed, then rubbed his forehead. “Where are you guys off to?” he asked.

Obraya raised her head slightly, but didn’t say anything. Herschel nodded at her. The couple held hands, rubbing the back of each others’ hands for comfort. Zoya tensed. Julian sucked in a breath. No one said anything. The cold wind whipped against their skin, trying to move them along.

“One,” Julian said under his breath. Herschel couldn’t hear him. “Two.”

Herschel repeated his question.

“Why do you care?” Zoya spat.

“Three!” Julian exclaimed, and ran ahead, past Herschel, shoving him to the side, putting so much force that Herschel fell over. Audrey and Will let go of each others’ hands and ran behind him. Zoya sprinted ahead of the couple and Obraya pulled up the rear, making sure to slam her foot hard on Herschel’s face.

“Keep on running!” Julian exclaimed, turning his head over his shoulders but kept his eyes trained to the front, dodging tree branches and what not. “He probably has guards hidden somewhere - I’ll distract them.”

Guards spilled out of the gates, running after both Julian and the rest of the group - who had split up. Under the darkness of the night, though, they couldn't be seen properly. Julian did his best impression of Will’s voice, trying his best with the British accent. “Audrey, over here!”

Julian let out a yelp, pretending to trip over a rock.

“To the right, you fools!” one of the guards yelled, pointing towards where Julian was running.

***

Akol gaped. “What the heck?”

“That’s how it is, darling,” the Queen stated, brushing the invisible dust off of her gown.

“You made me stay here a whole night just to tell me they never even came here?” Akol raged. His cheeks had blotches of red on them and his eyes were wide and fiery. You could almost see the fire in them.

The Queen raised her head, her nostrils flared. “You seemed tired -”

“Tired my foot!” Akol yelled, slamming his fist on the dresser in the guest room he was escorted into last night to rest in.

The Queen didn’t flinch but raised an eyebrow in disgust. “Pathetic,” she spat.

Akol clenched his jaw and sucked in a breath, trying to be as patient as possible, but obviously was not successful by the tone of his voice. “Your soldiers,” he said in a hiss. “Are being killed. By the Angels. The Painter and Writer were supposed to come here to make ties with your people so they could, together, go and destroy the Angels.”

He whipped his head back around and faced The Queen. Her green eyes were emotionless and her gown was so poofy, Akol did his best not to shred it.

“Do you not understand?” Akol growled.

She huffed. “Hon, I don’t see any way that those Humans could have helped us.”

The Devil squinted at her. “Are you okay, lady?” he asked, wrinkling his nose. “They were chosen.”

“What do you mean now, dear? Did I mess everything up?” she asked, raising her brow higher. If that was even possible.

He shook his head tiredly. He stopped. “Yes, as a matter of fact. Yes, you did mess everything up,” he said. “You should have sent your soldiers out to find the Painter and Writer so they could come back unharmed.”

The Queen let out a gasp and looked offended. “Excuse me but I gave you a place to stay -”

“I could have slept in a tree, you -” Akol squeezed his eyes shut to block out the horrified expression on The Queen’s face and clenched his hair into his fists. “Your Majesty.”

There was silence as Akol paced the wide guest room as The Queen watched him. “Who knows where they are right now? And Zoya?” he muttered under his breath.

The floating cars outside honked and beeped. The two royals could hear the occasional roar of a lion or whinny of a horse. The purple trees were waving happily around in the wind like there was no problem at all - Akol had a perfect view of them from the room he was in and it took a lot of effort not to smash the window. The green sky was brightening as fake-Sweztyn rose.

Since the Wizard’s lived underground, everything was different down here - much more colorful too. But the nature down here wasn’t real. It was all artificial, made up, unreal, and created by magic only.

“Well?” The Queen said softly.

“I’ll find them.” Akol paused. “I’ll go back to the Portal and find them and bring them back here and we’ll figure things out.”

The Queen nodded curtly. “Will you have breakfast befo -”

Akol shot her a look. She pursed her lips and glided out of the spacious room. Since Akol didn’t bring along any belongings, he didn’t need to pack up. He took his grayish green hood, slipped it over himself and exited the guest room he was staying at. The guards saluted at him as he walked past, and he gave them a slight nod. Akol trotted down the stairs, and bumped into The Queen who was walking gracefully with her hands clasped over her silky gown. Akol rolled his eyes. “I’m leaving,” he informed her.

“Very well, lamb,” she replied. “Not like you would let me throw you a goodbye party. And you were here for only a night,” she said.

Akol pursed his lips. “I’m in a hurry.” He swept past her. “Good day,” he called, and jogged out the tall blue doors the guards had kept open for him. He trotted down the stairs and ran towards the gate that the guards had opened up with him. It was the perfect weather for a nice walk but Akol was in a bit of a rush. He

***

Will, Audrey, Zoya and Obraya huffed and puffed as they sprinted through the woods, leaves whipping at their faces, thorn bushes snagging at their clothes, twigs snapping beneath their feet and critters jumping out of their path. A few minutes later, Zoya clasped her sweaty hands around Will’s wrist. She was gasping for breath. “Stop,” she pleaded. Everyone slowed down.

“Are you okay?” Audrey asked, sitting her down on the dirt ground.

Zoya shook her head and gestured for water.

Will paled and shared a glance with Audrey. Then he looked at Obraya who sighed, waved one hand and a blob of water appeared in mid-air. Zoya scrambled to get up and drank it all in. Audrey and Will gawked. They still weren’t very used to magic. It had only been three days.

“Three days,” Audrey said. “Only three days and it feels like twenty,” she added.

Obraya sat down as well. “We can’t wait too long, y’know. The guards’ll realize that they been wastin’ time an’ they’ll come after us.” She looked up. “And Sweztyn is rising too, we better be quick.”

Will paced and Audrey bit her lip, wringing her hands. “Can I have water too? We haven’t had food in so long.”

“Berries!” Will exclaimed from a few feet away. “At least I think they are.” He took a bunch and brought them over to the group. “I mean, they look like blueberries.” He grinned and brought a batch over to the others. He showed Obraya.

“They’re blueberries,” she approved.

The group hungrily devoured the blueberries, each of them with their own handful of the juicy berries. A few minutes later, everyone looked bright and happier with stomachs that were most definitely not empty.

Will helped Zoya up and Obraya started leading the way. Audrey brought up the rear this time. They speed-walked through the woods and soon enough, they could hear the soft chiming that could be heard whenever one was near the Portal. The soft purple fog could be seen through the trees.

Hope blooming in her chest, Obraya ran towards it, blocking her face from the nasty branches that scratched at her clothes and skin. “It’s here, it’s here!” she cried out with joy, when everyone caught up to her, panting for breath.

The couple and Zoya were all awe-struck at the beauty of the Portal. They were in a clearing now, and the Portal was right in the middle. It was a shimmering purple-blue vortex with a black hole in the middle that had little white sparks shooting out in every direction. There was a slight humming-chiming sound to it as well.

Audrey walked up to it, reaching her hand out to touch the fog.

The humming got louder.

So did the chiming.

Obraya faltered. “What in the -”

Zoya bit her bottom lip, shaking noticeably. “Someone’s coming, and they seem angry,” she said. Audrey backed up, and reached for Will’s hand. Zoya stopped chewing her lip. She hid behind the couple, with Obraya right beside her, frozen in her place. “This has never happened before, but I’ve read it in books and they’ve taught us about it as well and I’m not really sure if -”

The humming stopped, and so did the chiming. The middle of the vortex became larger and larger as every second passed and it looked as if someone had been spat out.

It was Akol. 


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158 Reviews


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Wed Oct 19, 2022 4:48 am
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Hkumar says...



I demand for new chapters!




Lib says...


ahdujskwnd



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Sun Dec 13, 2020 8:09 pm
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Hkumar wrote a review...



Hi Lib!

Herschel's reaction was quite surprising for him. I thought he would be really angry or maybe he'd have made some taunts on her ex for betraying him. I think you can improvise this scene by adding some more interesting details.

“Three!” Julian exclaimed, and ran ahead, past Herschel, shoving him to the side, putting so much force that Herschel fell over. Audrey and Will let go of each others’ hands and ran behind him. Zoya sprinted ahead of the couple and Obraya pulled up the rear, making sure to slam her foot hard on Herschel’s face.

Okay so this part was quite funny. When Jullian started counting, I was trying to guess what he's gonna do, some magic or take out some weapon to attack Herschel. But lol he made run for it. And absolutely enjoyed what Obraya did xD It all looked like a comic scene.

“That’s how it is, darling,” the Queen stated, brushing the invisible dust off of her gown.

I had to go back to the previous chapters to find from where did this queen came into picture then I saw the part where Akol was looking for the palace. This queen appeared to be both funny and annoying xD

The Painter and Writer were supposed to come here to make ties with your people so they could, together, go and destroy the Angels.

Umm I don't remember any such plans in which they had decided to come to Wizards first for seeking their help. Actually I kinda forgot here what was their main plan >.< Were they finding a way to call for a truce or just fight the Angels? I guess will have to look back check it. my bad

The ending was interesting. Finally they are going to be reunited with Akol. I'm sure he's going to be shocked on seeing Obraya with them. I think he also owe's her an apology for killing her the first they met in forest. that's not how you treat a kind woman xD lol

And like you mentioned in the reply of my previous review, I see you are facing little bit trouble in depicting the MC's magical powers in the story, which I think is an important part of the plot. I understand when you say that Audrey's magical powers are something that's not gonna happen spontaneously. I think she needs to find a quiet place where she could figure out something to paint that could be used as a powerful weapon against the angels and could give them an advantage in this fight. maybe their own army, idk, sorry for these wild imaginations
With Akol meeting Aud again, I wonder how he's going to keep his feeling suppressed. It can't be kept hidden from Aud for too long o_O

You are doing really great. Continue writing and all the best for future chapters.

Great work!
Keep writing :D




Lib says...


It all looked like a comic scene.

That's what I was aiming for! :P

Were they finding a way to call for a truce or just fight the Angels?

I,, don't actually know >.> I have no idea where this story is going-

Thanks for the review! And yeah, you're right, I have no idea what I'm doing with the magic or the plot. I think I need to break down this whole story over the winter vacations and put it back together again o.o

Thanks so much once again! I really enjoy reading your reviews. :p <3



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Thu Oct 08, 2020 2:43 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: Aaand this was another pretty good chapter. Love the little Akol scene we have in there guess that's who we were going to meet...maybe? and some pretty good planning right there to get to the portal.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Never had Obraya seen Herschel so calm. He looked as if they had just been talking about how many pounds of peaches were being sold at the market tomorrow morning. Two minutes of silence later, he sighed, then rubbed his forehead. “Where are you guys off to?” he asked.


Well...that was quite the twist...actually caught me off guard...which is very hard to do, trust me.

“Three!” Julian exclaimed, and ran ahead, past Herschel, shoving him to the side, putting so much force that Herschel fell over. Audrey and Will let go of each others’ hands and ran behind him. Zoya sprinted ahead of the couple and Obraya pulled up the rear, making sure to slam her foot hard on Herschel’s face.


Now that....on the other hand...was quite predictable...let's see how far our gang gets now shall we?

Guards spilled out of the gates, running after both Julian and the rest of the group - who had split up. Under the darkness of the night, though, they couldn't be seen properly. Julian did his best impression of Will’s voice, trying his best with the British accent. “Audrey, over here!”

Julian let out a yelp, pretending to trip over a rock.

“To the right, you fools!” one of the guards yelled, pointing towards where Julian was running.


Not gonna lie that was a move with so much logic behind it I didn't expect Julian to come up with it considering how he acted in the previous chapter...xD

“You made me stay here a whole night just to tell me they never even came here?” Akol raged. His cheeks had blotches of red on them and his eyes were wide and fiery. You could almost see the fire in them.


Of course that happened Akol....you're in a fantasy novel.

He whipped his head back around and faced The Queen. Her green eyes were emotionless and her gown was so poofy, Akol did his best not to shred it.


*falls of chair laughing*

“I could have slept in a tree, you -” Akol squeezed his eyes shut to block out the horrified expression on The Queen’s face and clenched his hair into his fists. “Your Majesty.”


I'm sure that's what he intended to say the whole time.

The floating cars outside honked and beeped. The two royals could hear the occasional roar of a lion or whinny of a horse. The purple trees were waving happily around in the wind like there was no problem at all - Akol had a perfect view of them from the room he was in and it took a lot of effort not to smash the window. The green sky was brightening as fake-Sweztyn rose.


Oooh some pretty interesting descriptions there.

“Very well, lamb,” she replied. “Not like you would let me throw you a goodbye party. And you were here for only a night,” she said.


Okay this Queen is so exaggerated its hilarious and I love it :)

Akol pursed his lips. “I’m in a hurry.” He swept past her. “Good day,” he called, and jogged out the tall blue doors the guards had kept open for him. He trotted down the stairs and ran towards the gate that the guards had opened up with him. It was the perfect weather for a nice walk but Akol was in a bit of a rush. He


Uhh...not sure why that word is just hanging out there.

Will paled and shared a glance with Audrey. Then he looked at Obraya who sighed, waved one hand and a blob of water appeared in mid-air. Zoya scrambled to get up and drank it all in. Audrey and Will gawked. They still weren’t very used to magic. It had only been three days.


Well that's handy.

“Three days,” Audrey said. “Only three days and it feels like twenty,” she added.


Very appropriate line for 2020...

[quote[Will helped Zoya up and Obraya started leading the way. Audrey brought up the rear this time. They speed-walked through the woods and soon enough, they could hear the soft chiming that could be heard whenever one was near the Portal. The soft purple fog could be seen through the trees.[/quote]

I approve of speed walking.

The couple and Zoya were all awe-struck at the beauty of the Portal. They were in a clearing now, and the Portal was right in the middle. It was a shimmering purple-blue vortex with a black hole in the middle that had little white sparks shooting out in every direction. There was a slight humming-chiming sound to it as well.


Oooh Nice description.

Zoya bit her bottom lip, shaking noticeably. “Someone’s coming, and they seem angry,” she said. Audrey backed up, and reached for Will’s hand. Zoya stopped chewing her lip. She hid behind the couple, with Obraya right beside her, frozen in her place. “This has never happened before, but I’ve read it in books and they’ve taught us about it as well and I’m not really sure if -”


Wait...you can tell anger levels by the sound the portal makes when you step through? That sounds like a vague...but totally appropriate for fantasy feature.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall this was a pretty good addition to the story. Looks like we're putting our prison bit behind us and moving to the next phase now. The one nitpick I have, if that even counts is the berries seem a little convenient...like maybe if there were several berries and they had to pick like the one that was not poisonous it would feel a little harder....now its too easy almost. Other than that the rest was amazing as always...and hilarious. Looking forward for more!!

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




Lib says...


Thanks so much for the review! <3



KateHardy says...


You're Welcome!!

Ignore me forgetting to delete those unnecessary bits at the end...fixed it now.




Everything’s edible if you’re immortal.
— Feltrix