Hi! Oliver here to review <3
I'm not going to be nitpicky about punctuation and whatnot because you're a seasoned poet and you know what you're doing. I just have some overall remarks.
To begin with, the title is apt and fitting for the poem. In relation to the poem's contents, it gives off the sense of the soul being battered.
Right out of the gate you have a solid simile. By relating the soul to a half-eaten pan of cornbread, you're talking about how the soul was consumed without thought and then abandoned. It gives some thought as to how the narrator was treated.
The simile is very well conveyed. However, the lines
when it is remembered these / pieces and crumbs, are soon / discarded to the depths of the / greatest hell
kind of threw me off. It seems awkwardly wedged in there with no real purpose.
The poem in a way makes me feel sort of nostalgic? And sad. It makes me long for a different time.
Overall I do really like this poem and it makes a lot of sense. Good job.
Keep writing,
- o.s.e.k
Points: 88
Reviews: 134
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