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Kerias Winter

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Heavy horse hoofs clopped against the dry earth, frost thinly covering the dirt paths. Kiera held the reins firmly—not too loose, not too tight. His armored plates shifted against each other making a quiet, muted scrape with every movement as he trekked down the patchy path. His steed, Verne, a large and dark brown horse with powerful limbs and thickly haired hooves, walked calmly with his head bowed slightly. Kiera patted the stallion's thick neck with his palm, Verne raising his head an inch at Kiera’s quiet sigh. It was cold—much colder than it had been the last few days. He could tell even Verne was starting to freeze by how numb his movements were. Tori shuffled tirelessly behind Kiera, a peasant barista whom he allowed to join on his journey, perhaps regrettably. Kiera was a quiet person, silent unless he must speak. He’s an individual of intense focus, and uncompromisable determination; his missions become his entire purpose, while Tori is much more.. distracted and scattered, which pulls him off-point—their current destination being a perfect example. She sat behind him, dressed in a thick coat-like cloak with a hood laced with soft, black fur. "We're close, aren't we?" She asked, her arms loose around his waist as she was itching to dismount Verne after traveling almost all dayl. She was fond of the shire, but hours of his hips swaying side-to-side caused her to become dizzy, and even making her backside a bit sore. Kiera didn't respond, his deep auburn eyes focused ahead on the path. It was usually in his best interest to ignore her, or else she’d think he was interested in her mindless rambles, paired with the fact that he wasn’t one to hold conversations. It had been a long several days of travel, with him needing to journey further to his real destination, but this “favor” he agreed to set him back a few days, and time was precious. It only distracted him.

"Helloooo?" Her voice whistled behind him, feeling her hand tap his side in persistence. To avoid being bothered even further, he finally replied. "Yes, we're close." He said in a low tone, the hours of travel also seemed to roughen his mood, not to mention the nagging hunger pitting in his stomach since they had run out of food last night. "And how close?" The barista asked, tapping his tense side again when he didn't respond right away. "Just one more day." He said calmly, lifting his hand to his cloak and bringing the collar closer to his chin, keeping the cold breeze at bay. The wind was starting to pick up, and Verne’s heavy snort confirmed it.

"Another day?" Tori echoed behind him, and he could already tell her eyes were widening in dismay. The town was close, but surely not a days' travel away, he was only pulling her leg—which was well-deserved since she’s been nagging him obsessively. "How do you mean another day?" She protested, straightening as she looked up at him, her hands braced against his lower back. "We'll miss the Winter Festival, and my mother will be all alone—who by the way, you promised to bring me to in time for this year's eggnog competition!" She exclaimed. Kiera didn’t respond for a few long moments, stretching the silence. His head turned slightly to glance back at her, his eyes narrowing a fraction as his sharp gaze settled on her. "I don't celebrate holidays, nor do I compete in 'eggnog competitions'." He replied in his sharp, rumbly voice, looking ahead again as the words rolled off his tongue slowly, like they were distasteful to him. He never saw the appeal with traditions, especially ones that alcoholics used as excuses to get piss drunk without getting thrown out of taverns for their irresponsibility. Tori mimicked his intense look, fixing her fur-hooded coat. "Well, you don't do much of anything other than grumble like an aged golem." She remarked, keeping her arms to herself and crossing them tightly as a sweep of cold air blew past them. Kiera let out a slow breath, the kind he did when he was getting agitated. "You're fortunate that I'm even returning to this town again–" Tori cut off his words before he could finish to save herself from his irritated rambling. "Yes yes, I already know.” She cleared her throat and lifted a finger, lowering her voice to copy his deep voice. “‘You never return to a town twice unless it's been half a year since your last visit, you hear me?’ Does that sound familiar?" Her brow narrowed as she repeated his exact words from previous conversations. She said it smoothly, like he's said it a million times before. All his rules and strange habits were practically engrained in her head by how much he repeated them. He obsessively lived by them. If he didn’t have his precious, perfectly organized and “meticulously calculated” code, she honestly believed he’d be more empty than a 90 year old woman who's so senile she only knows how to eat, sleep, and breathe.

He didn’t reply to her mimicry, and kept his eyes ahead on the road, clearly not amused which was shown by his sudden silence. She fixed her light brown hair by running her chilly fingers through her roots, her nose and ears cherry red from the cold. She could see the tips of Keria’s ears getting red too.

"If it truly is a day's travel away," She spoke, breaking the silence. "Can we stop for a bit? Maybe there is a tavern nearby—down the southern path?” She said, speaking up as another gust of wind blew past them. He was silent, lowering his head as the strong gust of wind whipped around them. “Hello? Are we stopping or what!” Tori exclaimed, wrapping her cloak closer around herself as she pressed herself against him, using his large frame to hide from the wind.

“It isn't a day's travel away,” He said, finally answering. “It’s close. Maybe even closer if you stop speaking." Kiera said back to her, turning his head slightly and glancing back at her with a quick and irritated gaze, before looking back to the path. He lifted a hand to his mouth, and blew warm breath onto his icy palm, alternating hands every five blows. "Oh you funny giant." She sneered with pure sarcasm in her tone, her expression showing restraint as she was summoning every ounce of patience to prevent herself from ripping out her hair. She had asked around seven times—which is an absurd amount of times to ask somebody since they seem to be too incompetent to answer a SIMPLE question—and he responds with a lie he conceived to obviously tick her off.

Just as she was about to give him a piece of her mind, Verne slowed to a stop, his tail flicking as he snorted softly, clearly pleased to have reached their destination after a long three days of travel. She leaned over, looking past Kiera's large frame to see the old wooden gates that were widely opened and the tall fences that wrapped around the village, laced with dull fabrics with poorly sewn pictures plastered on them. They were quite ugly, but Tori liked them because it was the village's children who crafted them.

Relief melted over her. "We're here! Finally!” She breathed, a smile spreading across her face in joy. “Onward Kiera, onward!" She exclaimed, stumbling over her words as she pointed ahead and immediately letting go of the frustration that was about to boil over moments ago. Kiera barely glanced back at her for a short moment, which was the most of a response she'd get from him, then tapped Verne's sides with his boots and in turn the large horse proceeded forward. The village was quite awake, bumbling with people, much more lively than Kiera remembered it ever being. This was the place where he met the girl, in fact. He lowered his head slightly, his hood shadowing his face. He may have left a bit of a.. mark last time he had come through, but hopefully the events were not too memorable with the townsfolk as he believed it to be.

The pair reached a stables, where Kiera paid the Stable keeper to take care of Verne for the night. Tori was overjoyed. Even if this town had been the source of all her misery and hardships for many years, the winter holidays was the one time of year where everyone had at least some piece of happiness festered in their hearts. It was her favorite time of year. Not only, she was soon to be reunited with her mother—which brought her some anxiety since she’d have to see her brothers too.

Everybody was busy. Busy setting up decorations, busy stocking up their shops, busy with their families and friends, and busy buying their last minute gifts for their loved ones. Kiera didn’t realize such a miserable town could be struck alive with a mere season and a few popular holidays. It was a noticeable contrast to when he was last here. She led the way to her home while Kiera followed behind her like a massive, looming silhouette, blotting out the light behind her. He was tall, abnormally tall, and caught many looks from the townspeople. It was in their best interest that he kept his eyes down, and to ignore their curious, idiotic glances. Paying no attention to them was a skill he had to learn and nurture carefully since he was young. Everyone stared. Not a single eye missed him. He stuck out, and not in a good way.

“Excuse me!” A squeaky voice called, interrupting Kiera’s intense eye contact with the ground. Just before he started to look up, something bumped into his leg, making him pause. A child, a young boy with spiky brown hair and dirty hands rubbed his forehead with a hurried expression and not much bother on his face. He bounced back up the second he gained his sense of direction, and ran past Kiera without an ounce of hesitation. “Sorry mister!” He called back with a small giggle, and continued on. Kiera stood for a moment, watching the young boy run off into a crowd. He sighed sharply to himself and brushed off his leg, turning back to continue walking. Clumsy children.

Not even a moment later, he was met with a herd of kids running towards him and Tori. They ran past Tori, giggling and snickering as they ran in the same direction as the boy from a moment before, Tori spinning around and exclaiming in surprise. But once they reached Kiera, they all abruptly stopped, standing before him shyly, utterly silenced. He looked down at them, glancing from each of their faces, their expressions looking like they had gotten caught in some real trouble.

“Is that a knight?” One of the children whispered, grabbing a hold of an older child’s arm. “Shh! Our sister said not to talk to knights.” The older child said, looking at Kiera’s silver armor. He wasn’t in a full armored set, but to children: armor meant knight.

After a few moments, and the children eyeing with suspicion and hesitation, he suddenly stepped to the side, crossing his arms across his wide chest as the sudden mass that was his body, let them through. They all exchanged glances with each other, at the stranger letting them pass. One child stepped forward, and the rest followed. Slowly they walked past him, then quickly sped up, stealing glances back at him as they started to chatter once again.

He watched them for a second longer, then turned to continue walking, only to see Tori facing him, staring past him at the fleeting children with an agitated look on her face. “Agh! Grubby kids! Is it hard for mothers to keep a single eye on their children?” She scoffed in annoyance, her hands on her hips in disapproval. Kiera followed her gaze, watching them chase each other through the alleys and under parked wagons with wide smiles on their faces. He turned back to Tori, continuing down the cobblestone sidewalk. “They may not have mothers.” He added in a dim tone as he walked past Tori, but for a second, he almost sounded thoughtful. “Well, we ought to start an orphanage of some kind.” She huffed, quickly speeding up to walk beside him.

They walked for a while longer, Tori speeding up to walk ahead of Kiera as they approached her mother's home. She knocked on the door, picking at her fingers with anxious excitement as she waited. Kiera stood behind her, his cloak curled around him as he stood, towering and as still as an old statue. He had met Tori’s mother a few times and was fond of her. She was an understanding and hard-working woman, who clung to her compassion tighter than any possession she owned. No matter how hard it got, she never let it eat at her.

Although, Tori’s two older brothers; Kim and Neal, were both complete nuisances. They were some of the most insufferable people he had ever met, and Kiera knew many foolish people. His brow twitched. Just the thought of seeing them again already soured his demeanor.

Just then, the door opened, and there stood Tori’s small, hobbly old mother. “Ma!” Tori exclaimed, immediately embracing her with excitement, her whole face lighting up. “Oh, my love!” Ma smiled, hugging her tightly. Kiera remained still and silent, watching them happily embrace each other. “Oh ma! I have so much to tell you! You will not believe what I have seen! I’ve seen more than any bartender in this land, mother!” She said quickly, already beginning to ramble. Ma smiled and shook her head knowingly. “Tell me inside, love. The cold will bite you before you get another word in.” She smiled, Tori eagerly walking inside.

Kiera did not follow her. He had completed his favor in returning her to her mother. Now, he would go and find a tavern to stay in. He started to turn to begin his search, before a soft voice made him pause.

“You can come inside too.”

Kiera paused for a quick second, like he had misheard. He turned back towards the door, and saw Tori’s mother standing at the doorway with a warm smile. She was.. inviting him in? “Come now, dinner won’t eat itself.” She insisted, walking inside and gesturing for him to follow. He hesitated, staring where she was just standing. He hadn’t expected her to let him in, she hardly knew him. He followed after her, ducking his head a bit so he wouldn’t hit the doorframe. He unclipped his snowy cloak, and pulled it off from his shoulders, bundling it up so that the bits of snow clinging to it wouldn’t fall onto the floors. He looked around the small home, taking in its rotting wooden walls, and old wooden furniture. There were few decorations or anything to please the eye, with chipped stairs that led to the second floor, and a simple, long table with a bench on one side, and chairs on the other. The kitchen was bare, but it looked much more taken care of than any other part of the house. The counters were recently sanded down, retaining its smooth surface, and the spices and ingredients were all organized with the dishes and utensils nicely stacked to the side.

Kiera stepped forward, catching onto Tori’s constant glances that he probably looked anything but approachable by looming next to the wall with a brooding face. He moved the bench back with his leg and sat down at the table, setting down his damp cloak next to him and keeping quietly to himself.

“Are Kim and Neal out for the night?” Tori asked her mother, scrubbing a dirty plate aggressively. She noticed how clean the house was, and ever since she could remember it used to always be in a state of chaos. “They’re out for good.” Ma replied, carefully putting the freshly clean utensils away. Tori nearly dropped the plate she was scrubbing, staring at her mother with complete disbelief. “Out for good?” She echoed. “H-How do you mean?” She stuttered. Knowing her cruel brothers, they would never leave on their own accord. If they could, they’d leech off their mother for all of time if it was possible. “I kicked them out. That’s all.” Ma said simply, turning to grab a clean pot to begin making her stew. Tori scoffed, setting the plate back down into the sink, following her mothers turn. “Do you take me for a fool? They wouldn’t leave even if the world erupted in flames.” She said in a hushed, but hasty voice, her soapy hands lifting in an exaggerated gesture.

Kiera lifted his head slightly, his eyes flicking from the armored shoulder plate he was polishing, to the sudden silence that filled the home. Ma hesitated, her expression twisting in conflict and hesitation. “I know.” She said quietly, walking past Tori to grab a few fresh vegetables in the upper cabinet. “So what happened?” Tori asked again, her expression serious, hovering next to her mother. “Can we please save this for another night? It’s been a long day and I just want to enjoy tonight with you.” Ma said, looking at Tori with tired eyes that swirled with exhaustion and clear exasperation. The last thing she wanted to speak of was her two deadbeat sons. Tori opened her mouth, but said nothing. She glanced at Keria who was obviously listening. His head was tilted towards them even if he was focused on his armor, something he often did when overhearing conversation. Her mother probably didn’t want him to hear anyway, as she was a reserved, proud woman. “Yes Ma.” Tori said, agreeing and continuing to clean the dirtied plates, while Kiera lowered his head.

As night began to fall, the two moved on from the tense conversation, and filled the home with warm laughter, and happy conversation. Tori shared stories of her travels with Kiera, while her mother shared silly rumours she had heard over the past few days. Kiera still didn’t say too much, now polishing his sword, and re-wrapping the leather hilt to keep it fresh. “Ms. Wood adopted a little puppy, a beautiful black hound.” Ma smiled, getting out three bowls as Tori counted the needed utensils. “A few days later, she came to me and said he had gone missing from her yard,” She continued, shuffling to the table and setting the bowls on the long table where Kiera sat. “I told her he must be around somewhere, and I had told her I’d keep an eye out for him. I said that a few weeks ago, and guess what I saw yesterday? The black hound prancing with the street kids!” She laughed—a quiet, hearty chuckle. Tori smiled, setting the table as she giggled. “Do you think they had stolen him?” Tori asked, covering her mouth to quiet her laugh. “Well, whether they did or not, that dog is theirs now.” Ma said, pouring her stew slowly into the bowls.

Tori sat down next to Kiera, across from where Ma was going to sit. “Put that away, dinner is finished.” She whispered once her mother had turned around, nudging him with a stern glance. He paused, glancing over at her before sheathing his sword, and setting it against the table, and turning to face the bowl of stew set in front of him. “Make sure you thank her, she tried extra hard to make sure you enjoy it. I told her lamb was your favorite.” Tori whispered, leaning close to him to speak even lower so her mother didn’t overhear. “Is lamb not expensive?” He asked quietly, leaning closer to keep his voice low too. He didn’t expect Tori’s mother to go such lengths for a stranger like him. “Just enjoy it Kiera!” She huffed quietly, immediately straightening when her mother came to sit down. “Please tell me how it is.” Ma said, gesturing to Kiera with a soft smile. He nodded politely, and picked up his spoon, beginning to eat.

Tori and Ma already began another conversation, while Kiera tried his first bite. The flavors were so overwhelming, he had to pause and savor them. They were strong, but subtle enough to mix together into an amazing earthy, but spicy taste. The lamb was even better as it was the most perfect, tender texture that was beautifully soaked in the juicy broth. Immensely enjoying his first bite, he eagerly ate another. It had been a long time since he’s eaten a well-cooked meal like this, and it was refreshing, and even relaxing to be able to sit and eat a real meal for the first time in a long while. “Do you like it?” Ma asked, smiling as Kiera was already halfway done. He glanced up, straightening as he looked at her. “Yes, I do.” He replied, and Ma’s smile widened further. “I’m thankful!” She said cheerfully. A small smile crossed Tori’s lips, seeing her mother happy, and seeing Kiera content.

The rest of the night was filled with warmth and many stories were shared. The snow fell softly outside, and each light of every house in the village stayed lit. Through the windows, families laughed, people drank, ate their warm meals, celebrating their only Winter Festival of the year.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Krampus Comment
Stickied · Krampus commented · Mon Feb 16, 2026 6:55 pm

Please give me critique on my writing style, and if I did a good job describing my characters!! Sorry it's so long guys

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Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review · Fri Mar 13, 2026 9:46 am

Hi Krampus! @CrimsonTears recommended your story and so I put it on my to-read and it got finally chosen! So, here I am :3

And the first thing I notice are the adjectives and adverbs XD You might be overdoing it a slight tad with them, especially in that first paragraph!

I get a Geralt and Dandelion dynamic from these two!

That said, you could also work a little on your paragraphing. It doesn’t really please the eye if your paragraphs are this long. As a general rule, you should break up your paragraph every time you introduce a new topic. F.e. the description of your characters are one paragraph but the description of their travel should be a different. It’s especially important that dialogue has its own paragraph. So the moment Tori speaks, she should get her own paragraph. This becomes especially important later, when the characters actually have a conversation. Having each person get their own paragraph for talking makes it all so much easier to read :3

Also speaking of dialogue! Dialogue formatting. Very important. Here’s two links you should check out regarding that: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/ ... ne-Grammar (this one taught me how to do it correctly and I’ll be eternally grateful!) or if you want to stay on YWS, here’s the topic Punctuation within Dialogue It’ll take a while but if you set your mind to it, you’ll start to automatically do this correctly without having to think about it anymore!
Let’s look at an example in your story:

"We're close, aren't we?" she asked, her arms loose around his waist
See how “she asked” alone is not a complete sentence? That’s because the dialogue is part of it! Which is why we “she” cannot be capitalized here 😊

Small typo: “after traveling almost all dayl.”

Hmmm so far I really do not like Kiera xd Tori is giving it her all but he keeps dismissing her. And now this: “It’s close. Maybe even closer if you stop speaking." You’re riding a horse, mr grumpypants, how is her talking affecting your travel speed exactly? XD (Yes I like Tori a lot more. She seems to have a good motivation going on, a reason to do things! Kiera is too mysterious for his own good and I cannot get a good read on him!)

I find myself wishing to know more about why these two travel together. Why Kiera agreed to take her and just what has transpired in this village, that Kiera doesn’t want to be recognized again…

I also wish you would linger a little bit more on the emotions. F.e. when Kiera watches the family reunion and then starts walking away because he thinks he’s done here. Just… some more emotional impact would go a long way here and really show how Tori’s Mom inviting him inside is a big deal :3

Oha, I am a bit surprised that you first bring up the two brothers but then they are not even here? Are they gonna be relevant later in the story? :3

Hmmm I am also surprised about how little… actually happens in this. I kept waiting for something like plot but it rly was just the duo reaching Tori’s home and having dinner.

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CrimsonTears
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Hello hello! It is I, CrimsonTears (or Crim for short)! I am here to read and review this amazing piece! Typically, I read and review as I go and so as usual, that is also how I will review your work here! Let’s dig in, shall we!
As always, I like to start with the title and genre the writer has chosen.

Kerias Winter is an interesting title and at first I thought ‘winter’ was his last name, but I realize how maybe you meant to write the title as “Kiera’s Winter”. If that is the case, the fact that you also chose Fantasy/Humor as the genres makes me even more intrigued to read about his winter situation! (This is also the second(?) time I’ve ever read anything about him so I am very excited!

Anyways, moving on into the actual review here…

Heavy horse hoofs clopped against the dry earth, frost thinly covering the dirt paths. Kiera held the reins firmly—not too loose, not too tight. His armored plates shifted against each other making a quiet, muted scrape with every movement as he trekked down the patchy path. His steed, Verne, a large and dark brown horse with powerful limbs and thickly haired hooves, walked calmly with his head bowed slightly.


I really like the imagery you start the read off with! It gives the setting and introduction to some of the characters very quickly, not dragging it on forever. I also like how you didn’t just focus on one sense like sight but also the sound.

"Helloooo?" Her voice whistled behind him, feeling her hand tap his side in persistence. To avoid being bothered even further, he finally replied. "Yes, we're close." He said in a low tone, the hours of travel also seemed to roughen his mood, not to mention the nagging hunger pitting in his stomach since they had run out of food last night. "And how close?" The barista asked, tapping his tense side again when he didn't respond right away. "Just one more day." He said calmly, lifting his hand to his cloak and bringing the collar closer to his chin, keeping the cold breeze at bay. The wind was starting to pick up, and Verne’s heavy snort confirmed it.


I really like their dynamic already. Even though he takes her to be annoying it’s also almost like she treats her like the younger sibling and she proudly also accepts that role. I also like how you write this because to me it’s almost written in a way to show that he is like this with her but his personality is also separate regardless of the relationship he might have with someone. For example, he seems to be a very grumpy guy in general so that is added on top of how he speaks to Tori giving him the “big brother” appearance as an addition to who he is.

"We'll miss the Winter Festival, and my mother will be all alone—who by the way, you promised to bring me to in time for this year's eggnog competition!" She exclaimed. Kiera didn’t respond for a few long moments, stretching the silence. His head turned slightly to glance back at her, his eyes narrowing a fraction as his sharp gaze settled on her. "I don't celebrate holidays, nor do I compete in 'eggnog competitions'." He replied in his sharp, rumbly voice, looking ahead again as the words rolled off his tongue slowly, like they were distasteful to him.


I really like this part of the beginning of this story. I can picture this conversation part very clearly in my head as if I were reading a graphic novel of them. It also shows his personality more and I really like how he responds to this and how he sticks to his life rules.

I like also how you show him interacting with the children and it seems there is a hint of pity to them when he brings up the idea of there being an orphanage. When he meets the mother it’s nice to see the two are on good terms and so much that she lets him in her house without hesitation. I also like how there seems to be some tension with Tori’s family and it shows through his curiosity that maybe Kiera isn’t as uncaring or whatever about everything. He seems to maybe want to know what’s wrong with the family since he appears to be friends with Tori and is fond of her mother. I can also tell he feels appreciative of the mother.

Overall this letter a great story and I really enjoyed it! I wasn’t drawn out and stayed relatively the same pace throughout the entire read!

The critiques…

1.There is a couple of typos. The first being the title as I mentioned earlier, “She was fond of the shire, but hours of his hips swaying side-to-side caused her to become dizzy” I think you meant to write her not his, “She asked, her arms loose around his waist as she was itching to dismount Verne after traveling almost all dayl.” (I think you meant to delete the l in day), and “The pair reached a stables, where Kiera paid the Stable keeper to take care of Verne for the night” I think the S should be lower case.

2. I would like to know more about Kiera and Tori’s relationship. How long have they been friends for? And what is the mother’s name? Does Kiera have a close relationship with her that he also refers to her as Ma?

3. I think maybe some of the paragraphs could be separated.

But now for the highlights!

1. Obviously I really like the duo here. Even though they don’t seem to be intentionally riling one another up, as the reader it is amusing to read about them. To me it seems to be a relationship where they genuinely care for one another and then treat one another as annoying siblings the next!

2. I like how you present the mother. She seems to be an important story and I like how you show her personality and who she is in such a short read. I feel like I’ve read about her for a while and this isn’t the first time I’ve met her in this reading!

Overall this was a great story and I really enjoyed it! I hope to read more of Kiera and Tori’s stories!

Have an amazing rest of your day/night!
Crim signing out!

thank you for the review! :) im glad i did a good job keeping the story paced and interesting I was actually really worried I wouldn't do a good job since I don't write a lot lol. Thank you so much for the love of their duo! this was definitely a more light-hearted part of them :) i didn't want to explain how they met and stuff too much because 1). i didn't want it to be too long, and 2). i wanted to leave that for future writing. tysm!!



cron
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