z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



Operation Strikethorn

by KateHardy


Sonotos sits at desk. First to arrive is James.

Sonotos: Agent Bond, right on time as usual.

James: Of course, sir!

Sonotos: Where are the other two?

James: On their way I think.

Vankous storms in.

Vankous: What’s the problem that interrupted my experiments?

Sonotos: A place that we need to break into.

Vankous: Really, no one else was available?

Sonotos: Only you two and Harry, where the hell is he anyway? He has ten seconds left to get here on time.

Harry arrives just on time.

Harry: Hi Tos, had to finish breakfast. Was on time though.

Sonotos: Hmmm… Now that everyone is here let’s get to it.

Harry: Yeah what was important enough to call us in? It’s not another training mission right.

Sonotos: Not this time. This is Operation Strikethorn. Your mission is to bring me this guy. (Shows photo on laptop). His name is Taurus Aurelius Ramsay. Break into his house and capture him. Plain and simple.

Harry: When do we have to move?

Sonotos: Right now. You’re in charge. I will send the coordinated to your watch. Get going you three.

Good luck. Oh, one more thing. Minimal to no power usage. The location is too public.

James: Yes sir.

They walk out to get prepared.

They walk out onto hallway and teleport away through a portal opened by Vankous.

Appear outside back door.

Harry: James shoot the lock. I’m going in. Vankous watch our backs.

Vankous: You want me to stare at your backs? Seriously?

Harry: You know what I mean idiot.

Vankous: Jeez. Loosen up. Look it’s a bunny.

Harry glares.

Vankous: Watching our six, captain.

James: I’m gonna breach.

Harry: I’m ready.

Vankous: Was ready five minutes ago.

James shoots the lock.

They go in.

Shots are fired by a henchman.

They take cover in the kitchen. James I’m gonna lay down some fire you try to get in there.

Harry turns to full auto on gun and sprays some darts.

James dives behind kitchen table. He uses his pistol to neutralize the now distracted henchman.

Harry: Vankous come in. James, get ready to breach the other door.

They repeat the same procedure as before to find two henchmen in the living room.

Harry: I’ll cover you. James, hallway. Vankous get under the table.

Vankous slides under the table.

James goes to the opening in the hallway.

Harry shoots more full-auto.

Vankous snipes one of them. Harry manages to get one with the full auto.

Vankous slides along floor towards staircase.

Harry: Dude can’t you walk? You look like a giant flobberworm.

James snickers.

Vankous: I am being tactical, you hippogriff.

Harry: Baa... Move out. James, get your primary ready. We’ll attack the staircase. Vankous find a vantage point.

Vankous: What did the poor staircase ever do to you?

Harry sighs.

Vankous: Moving to a vantage point.

They attack the staircase and Harry and James manage to neutralize the henchman.

Harry: Okay let’s move.

Harry goes up first followed by the others. Another henchman starts shooting.

Harry runs out of ammo on primary.

Harry: Crap!

James: Language man.

Harry sighs again.

Harry draws his pistol and shoots the henchman. They run to the door behind which Taurus is hiding.

Harry: Breach the door James.

James shoots the door and harry goes in and ducks for cover.

James: I’ll cover. You two try to get a clear shot.

Taurus: So here is the infamous Alpha Pack. The Darkness, Agent Khaos and Dr. Cerebro.

Vankous sends a dart near him as he speaks.

Taurus ducks under cover.

They keep firing at each other. Vankous runs out.

Vankous: I’m out.

James: Crap!

Harry: Language.

James: I walked into that one.

They keep firing and James also runs out.

James: Okay I’m out too. We have to take this guy out.

Harry manages to get a shot on Taurus’ arm.

Taurus: Arrgh. I’ll get you for that. You will all die today.

Evil laughter and he shoots a laser beam at them.

Harry: Dang it he’s using powers. This can’t go on.

Harry fires his last rounds.

Harry: And I’m out. Damn it. I’ll try to blast him once. Sonotos did say minimal powers. Not completely forbidden.

James: Wait I have a grenade. I’ll distract him with that then.

Harry: Were you napping? How can you forget you have a grenade?

James gives a “oops” look. He throws the grenade further injuring Taurus.

Harry climbs over their cover and shoots a couple lightning bolts. Taurus drops his gun.

They walk over to him.

Harry: Well Sweet Dreams!

He blasts him with lightning and knocks him out. Then he turns to the camera and punches the camera.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
172 Reviews

Points: 34172
Reviews: 172

Donate
Sun Apr 16, 2023 5:13 pm
View Likes
Roxanne wrote a review...



Well, hello there!
Have you heard about the aliens landing in North America?

Just kidding :D

Hi there!
I'm here with a review

To be honest, I've always heard of James Bond, but I've never seen the movies. The way you describe the fight scene is incredible. You're making me change my mind about actually watching them.

The script isn't too long, but it gives enough information that I'm already wondering what's going to happen next. You should definitely make a whole story out of this script, it's got the perfect things in it to attract a reader: mystery, humor, and action. And I'm a big fan of all three.

The dialogues are also amazing and important because the story is mostly told through dialogues. I love the humor in it.


*
"Harry: James shoot the lock. I’m going in. Vankous watch our backs.

Vankous: You want me to stare at your backs? Seriously?

Harry: You know what I mean idiot.

Vankous: Jeez. Loosen up. Look it’s a bunny.

Harry glares.
*

This scene is just perfect and really funny. I think Vankous is my favorite character now, he is just the kind of agent they need to cheer them up.


*
Vankous slides along floor towards staircase.

Harry: Dude can’t you walk? You look like a giant flobberworm.

James snickers.

Vankous: I am being tactical, you hippogriff.

Harry: Baa... Move out. James, get your primary ready. We’ll attack the staircase. Vankous find a vantage point.

Vankous: What did the poor staircase ever do to you?

Harry sighs.
*

And the scene above again. Just as you are praying for them not to die, Vankous says something funny. And Harry is totally annoyed with him. I love it.


*
James: Wait I have a grenade. I’ll distract him with that then.

Harry: Were you napping? How can you forget you have a grenade?

James gives a “oops” look. He throws the grenade further injuring Taurus.
*

And you have done it again, James is amazing. Wait, is he taking Vankous' place as my favorite character?

I like the fact that you put the "language" thing in there.
Yep, okay. I'll be saying it for the second time, but you should DEFINITELY continue this story.


All the best,

Rose

https://rosewriting12.blogspot.com/




User avatar
695 Reviews

Points: 86453
Reviews: 695

Donate
Sat Mar 11, 2023 3:40 am
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I enjoyed this script! I'm always excited whenever they're posted on YWS. I'm aware that this was posted on a dare, and while it was a little cringe-worthy at times, I think there's a lot of merit to it too!

One thing I really enjoyed about it was the combination of humor in both the dialogue and the stage directions. The part I liked the best was probably this line:

He has ten seconds left to get here on time.

Harry arrives just on time.


It was like banter between the narrator/stage directions and the characters, which I thought was super fun and meta. I think that sort of humor was present through a lot of the work, so much so that it almost felt like it was poking fun at itself. I'm not sure if that was intentional at the time of writing, but to me, it aged that way. It was almost so clichéd that it entered the realm of satire, a bit. Again: regardless of whether it was intended that way, it was still very funny to read and I enjoyed it very much.

One thing I noticed, especially during the fight scene, is that a lot of the descriptions were pretty vague, such as verbs like "attacks." It was kind of hard to visualize despite it being a script, so I think if you do revisit this piece, elaborating on some of those moments could be good. I also think some more description of the characters could be warranted, especially at the beginning; whether it's included in stage directions or in a list of dramatis personae, I think it could be good to list their roles and maybe some details about their age/appearance/personality.

Overall: nice work! For a work over five years old, I think it stands the test of time pretty well. I had a lot of fun reading it, and it inspired me to dig up some of my old scripts as well. Thank you for sharing, and until next time!




User avatar
229 Reviews

Points: 9163
Reviews: 229

Donate
Mon Feb 20, 2023 10:56 pm
foxmaster wrote a review...



I have to say I really liked this, it's definitely something that if you continue this I will be reading it too.

But yeah, I have to agree with Overwatchful because "Crap" isn't a bad word even though some of my friends probably think so...

But I think I found a typo. If this isn't a typo, though, then just let me know.
"James I’m gonna lay down some fire you try to get in there."
You should probably need to enter (at least if I'm right) and add one of these ":"

Anywhoo that's all and if I overlooked anything just let me know, thanks for reading and reviewing my work!

-Foxmaster




User avatar
120 Reviews

Points: 5578
Reviews: 120

Donate
Fri Feb 03, 2023 4:08 pm
Overwatchful says...



Oh my word Hardy I love it! I'm really happy you took this dare lol. It's not a half-bad script to be honest. Just needs... a little revamping.
But seriously tho, I was laughing at the "Crap! Language!" parts. Apparently 2016 you had some low standards for "language."




User avatar
9 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 9

Donate
Fri Feb 03, 2023 2:51 pm
Lexus2017RX350 says...



I love the banter between characters! I still need to perfect my writing skills right now so this is a great thing for me to have stumbled onto. I hope to read more of you. Happily read by Lexus





The most important thing is to preserve the world we live in. Unless people understand and learn about our world, habitats, and animals, they won't understand that if we don't protect those habitats, we'll eventually destroy ourselves.
— Jack Hanna