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Soul Keeper chapters 2-4

by KaiRyu

The new chapters from my story steers drastically far off course from my typical style, so be warned if you’re thinking about reading it. There are mentions of mental illnesses, a violent scene, and they all revolve around abusive bullying. I’m writing all of this here instead of in the about section of the post because there wasn’t enough room. Thanks, and everyone have a great day!


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Chapter 2

“Are you going to be okay?” Kai looked over at me while we patiently waited for the bell to ring. Whispers from the other students rose around us, as well as a few dirty looks.

I just smiled optimistically. “Of course! What doesn’t kill me just drives me deeper into insanity!” She already knew I wasn’t going to be okay, each day the others just grew bolder with their attacks. “Besides, it’ll be worth it, not giving in,” I looked over at her and grinned. “The looks on their faces is priceless! They’re always so disappointed when I refuse to cry.”

“You’re such a nut,” she smiled and hugged me right when the bell rang. “See you later, Kurieta. Be safe, please,” her final request before standing and heading to her first class.

I smiled sadly. “ I’ll try.”

------ First Block (Such excitement!)------

“Salutations classmates!” I walked into math with my typical smile plastered across my face. “I’m looking forward to emotionally bonding with you today!” My desk, as usual, was covered with graffiti. The smile never wavered, though. “I see you all have learned some new words… Good for you for expanding your vocabulary!”

Everyone in the class groaned, not including the teacher of course. He wasn’t there yet. “Stop being so happy!” One of them shouted, the others supporting him. “It’s disgusting.” Heh, like I have much of a choice.

“Awwwe, are you jealous?” I giggled, mocking him. “Jealous that I can be so happy when you’re overwhelmed by your sad, miserable life?” Walking over, I lightly booped him on the nose, giggling again. “It’s adorable!”

Snarling, the little boy slapped me across my face. It did little to nothing to change my expression. Luckily, though, the teacher came in right at that moment. “Take your seats class. Kurieta, stop causing so much trouble,” he ordered before taking his own seat behind a desk.

“Yes sir!” I saluted him and sat, ready to learn.

------- Second Block (English, yay!)-----

“Alright kids! Today is very special,” the teacher, Ms. James, announced as she entered the classroom. “We have a brand new student joining us all the way from New York.” There were quiet murmurs of excitement, and for good reason. A new student was a rarity.

“Where are they?” I asked enthusiastically. This was my chance to finally make a friend! A fresh start! All I had to do was get to her first….

Ms. James smiled. “An excellent question! And nice work using a pronoun that can describe anyone.” I was radiating with joy; praise was hard to come by, so even the smallest amount of approval made me very happy. “She’s taking a tour of the school and should be joining us shortly. Now take out your journals class, we’re continuing the lesson on character development from yesterday.”

I happily obliged, taking out my journal that was already halfway filled with stories of my own. Father was going to be furious when he found out that I brought it, but it would be worth it. The stories were my only escape. In an odd way, they still are.

My journal was almost filled with ideas that before had only existed in my head. Fantastic ideas with fantastic characters. I worked on them tirelessly until they almost seemed real, like they were standing right in front of me. I remember imagining that one day my characters came to life and became my friends. I sighed, thinking of what it might be like if I actually had a friend. Maybe life wouldn’t be so bad.

A soft knock from the door invaded my thoughts and I looked up. Ms. James had opened the door and welcomed someone. She looked to be a bit shorter than I was and had long, scraggly brown hair.

“Everyone,” Ms. James announced, catching our attention. “This is AJ and she’ll be joining our class as of today.” The girl looked at all of us and waved, smiling.

I, being the kind and confident student I was, grinned back. That girl, no, AJ, looked intriguing. Her brown eyes were tilted and uneven, her eyebrows only added to the awkward tilt, and her teeth were all sorts of crooked. Yep. She looked beautiful! “Salutations new classmate!” I called out, using my most enthusiastic tone of voice.

“Salutations!” AJ called back with a huge wave. “I’m looking forward to being in a class with you all.”

I smiled. This was going to be fun.

Chapter 3

The rest of the day went by in a blur; AJ and I bonded quickly. Well, I didn’t really know the standard, but it was fast for me. I’d never had a real friend before. It felt nice.

“So,” she started as we walked towards the front of the school together. “Are you going to introduce me to any of your other friends?” I stalled and AJ just waited expectantly. How did she not notice how the others avoided me? If I had any other friends, she would have known by now… To be fair, it was her first day. She didn’t yet know what sort of reputation I held.

“Uh… You’ll meet them soon!” I laughed nervously. I actually lied, but only to keep her close. If she ever found out, well… I was just scared. Scared I might lose her.

AJ nodded and smiled. “Are they some of them?” She gestured to a group of people walking plainly towards us. They all walked with confidence, their arms swinging leisurely by their sides. Everyone of them were my main bullies.

“Um, sure. We’re…. Acquaintances!” I began to turn around. AJ didn’t seem to get the hint, despite all my shaking. I took her arm. “Run,” whispering quietly before taking off in the opposite direction.

“Hey! What?” She stumbled even though I had let go of her before running. “What’s going on?!” AJ chased after me, screaming as she looked behind and saw the bullies following rapidly. All of them had gazes full of bloodlust.

She surprisingly was able to keep up, there was no doubt the adrenaline helped. “Dang they’re mad!” AJ huffed through clenched teeth. “What did you do?”

“Ya really think I know?” I practically shouted back, unable to control my tone of voice. The group was slowly, but surely, gaining. I shoved AJ out of the way, not wanting her to get involved. It worked, the group was so intent on me that they completely ignored her.

Of course, the same could be said for the teachers. Despite the chase, and the fact that the group had picked up some small stones, the teachers conveniently turned the other way. This went on for a while longer, I had actually made it around the entire school, before they cornered me near the recycling bins. “Well… RIP me.”

“You really think you can have friends?” The lead snarled, Preston I believe his name was. “You’re a freak, don’t forget it.”

“How could I when you’re constantly nagging me about it?” I mumbled. “Besides, you’re more of one than I am. I mean, how many ten year olds would go this far to discriminate against one person? You’re a real psychopathic gem, ya know…”

The comment hit home, and he shook with rage before throwing the rock at me. I was thankfully able to dodge it, but Preston still managed to tackle me. He picked up the rock and smashed it against my skull. Over and over and over again…. Yep, that was going to leave a scar. Even his little buddies backed up and ran.

Someone must've heard the screaming, because the next thing I knew the silhouette of another student chased him away. The damage was already done, though. So it was a tad bit too late. My eyes weren’t working and the entire world looked like it was a retro movie whose film was badly damaged.

“Apparently…. It’s possible to see in black and white,” I giggled. “Dang, I really am a old soul.” Slowly I turned my head to face the hero and smiled.

Chapter 4

“Kurieta!” Kai screamed the moment I looked up. “What happened?” She cupped my face in her hands. I didn’t say a word, just continued to smile. The blood ran down my face, grotesquely replacing my tears. It wasn’t the first time they stoned me, but it still hurt every time. Kai’s eyes were watering. “We need to get you home,” she took my hand and let me down the typical path.

I was mute the entire walk, shaking from the effort. Eventually, my legs gave out and I fell in the alley between two shops. The floor was cool to the touch. It was a welcome distraction from the pounding in my head. Kai’s screams of terror were muted, fuzzy. They faded into the background. In fact, everything faded. Everything, that is, except for a lone typewriter laying among the trash.

Flashing lights also evaded the blissful darkness as a passerby heard the shouts and called for help. The last thing I remember before everything went black was reaching out to the typewriter. That beautiful, precious typewriter.


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624 Reviews

Points: 3571
Reviews: 624

Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:51 pm
Casanova wrote a review...

Heya, Ryu, Casanova here to do another review for you.

Alright, so to start off, I think i'll say the plot is starting to improve, although I think you're lax on important details. This feels more of the filler chapters between important chapters, so correct me if I am wrong on that or anything. Well, onward.

Now, the next thing is characters. I think that your narrator is a bit.. Well, I'm not sure what word to use to describe them, but honestly they're not a character I like as of the moment. I know you mention mental health and things, but they don't really seem regretful or anything about things, so I think that's one thing I would like to see changed in the future. I would like to see the character grow into it, and actually become a likeable person in the future, if that makes any sense.

Another thing, is that we don't really know much about character appearances or anything, and that's something that's usally done in the first few chapters, so I think that you could go out on a limb and put that in there, and that should spice it up a bit.

And the last thing I'll talk about is the characters attitudes and dialogue- it doesn't really feel all that natural to me. The vocal descriptors and everything just seem a bit pushed in my opinion, which I was really hoping wouldn't happen.

Anyway, I think that you have a good idea here and I'll be watching.

Sincerely, Casanova

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41 Reviews

Points: 57
Reviews: 41

Sat Mar 09, 2019 5:02 pm
starryknightt wrote a review...

Hey, there!

This story is only getting better, and I can't wait to see where it goes next. The characters are still great, however, I would describe them a bit more. You've given some thought to it, but I'm still having a hard time picturing them in my mind. This doesn't include AJ. I picture her very well, and I love all of her beautiful flaws and quirks!

I would also like to point out that Kurieta's neverending optimism and sarcasm gives me life! I love it!

Another thing, you mention her classmates as "ten year olds" a couple of times. That confuses me, just a little bit. Is that sarcasm? How old are they really? I'm getting high school vibes, but I could be totally wrong. I'd clear that up a little bit.

One more thing: THAT. TYPEWRITER! I'm already excited. I looove typewriters, so I'm looking forward to seeing what properties this one has. Is it magical? Is she one step closer to becoming who she is meant to be?

I look forward to reading more of your art!


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18 Reviews

Points: 51
Reviews: 18

Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:58 pm
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Munozutoo2122 wrote a review...

I really did feel frightened. But in a good way. I loved your use of imagery and tone words. You made me want more and I was literally on the edge of my seat because of that. I really believe you have potential to become a great writer. I encourage you to keep it up because your doing fabulous. Good job and keep up the great work. Also if you ever need help with anything pm me.

Don't gobblefunk around with words.
— Roald Dahl