Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

Little Red Bloody Hood | Chapter Three - A Den of Wolves

by ImlayTheDay


She takes a step back and falls onto her back, tripping over a raised root she hits her head against the ground. Her vision, for a split second, looks like what you would see when someone in an animation gets hit. Black and a flash of light. She lifts her head to look back into the cave where she knew a pack would be staring back at her. Something takes a step forward.

A wolf.

Not just any wolf. A huge, black, mouth-full-of-teeth, one. It looks at her with its piercing yellow eyes as it steps closer and closer until it stops right in front of her. It peers down at her and Edith holds her breath for what’s about to happen next, a gruesome end to her journey. She closes her eyes and waits.

I didn't want to do it anyway, she thinks.

She waits for something that never comes. She hears a series of disgusting pops and stretching and only after it’s over does she open her eyes. But not to a wolf who was there a second ago.

A boy of the age of seventeen with somewhat long black hair and a middle part, half of it covering his right eyebrow. He has the same yellow eyes as the wolf and his lips are quirked up in a smile. He holds out his hand for her.

“Stop playing in the dirt like a dog, don’t you have things to do?”

She stares at him until she eventually snaps out of it and ignores his hand as she stands up on her own. She looks for her basket and is dismayed to see that one of the wolves behind the boy is holding it in its mouth. She swallows hard and dusts herself off.

“I… would like my basket please?” She says, she wills her voice to be steady and unfortunately that wish isn’t granted.

“Ah, yes. Aragorn? Her basket please.” Aragorn creeps forward and leaves it at his feet. The boy picks it up and hands it to her after cleaning the handles with his shirt. “Here you go, we haven’t touched anything inside of it while you were out dancing.”

She reaches out and takes it from his warm hand. He smiles and avoids his eyes, he’s a werewolf. They were dangerous and unpredictable, not people she wanted to mess with.

“Thank you.” She says softly. “I must be off.” She turns around to the doorway and stares at the rain coming down hard, a few minutes ago she had been so happy to be out in it but now she dreaded it.

“Or you could stay here, we won’t hurt you.” He suggests behind her. “You’ve met Aragorn. The others are Cypress, Fenrir, and Lupa.” He gestures to each wolf as he says their names. They don’t show any signs of aggression or bloodthirst, they even nod to her as they are called. She also notes he didn’t introduce himself although he does look a tad bit familiar…

“You don’t want to be sick, when you go up against your grandmother she will be stronger and it will be harder to overcome her and end her, even if you’re perfectly healthy.”

Her head snaps up and she narrows her eyes at him. She had been gripping her dagger in her basket but at the comment, she had dropped it back in her basket and let her hand fall to her side.

“How did you know?” She asks. “I haven’t told anyone, neither has my mother.” She doesn’t think her mother told anyone for she barely talks to people. The only two other options are he intercepted the letter but then how would he understand the part about the crow… the last option is that he knows Nana.

“Your grandma told me, Edith.”

She stares at him. “How do you know my name?” She asks, taking a step back. She can feel the back half of her getting pelted with rain.

“You really don’t remember me? I’m Maiken, the boy you played with when you were at Nana’s?” He takes a step forward, his eyebrows furrowed.

Her jaw goes slack and her eyes wide. “M-Maiken? I thought you were an imaginary friend… because wll I figured Nana would never let me play with werewolves..”

“No, I’m not imaginary. I really thought you recognized me though.”

She looks away. “Yeah, kinda. You look a lot different than from when you were eight though.”

“I suppose so. Will you stay then? I hope you know that I meant it, when I said we won’t hurt you.”

She glances outside, she doesn’t see any point in trekking through that rain. “I guess I have no other choice.”


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
518 Reviews


Points: 101
Reviews: 518

Donate
Wed Dec 14, 2022 12:56 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Is it bad that it’s only chapter three and I already ship Edith with Maiken? I just think that Maiken sounds really interesting and I would love to see their relationship blossom! Now, I understand why Edith would be afraid of werewolves, but humans too are dangerous and unpredictable. Wolves are misunderstood creatures as well. They get a bad rap. I’m hoping that Maiken is a nice guy, because I already like him.

I wish you a wonderful day/night.




ImlayTheDay says...


You just have to wait and see. (And pray I get more inspiration and overcome procrastination)



User avatar
3850 Reviews


Points: 210016
Reviews: 3850

Donate
Thu Dec 08, 2022 1:21 pm
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy well this is certainly an interesting point to leave us off here. I'm very skeptical about the ending there, this whole situation turned out to somehow be a little bit more terrifying than if this whole thing had turned out to be an actual den of wolves there.

Anyway let's get right to it,

She takes a step back and falls onto her back, tripping over a raised root she hits her head against the ground. Her vision, for a split second, looks like what you would see when someone in an animation gets hit. Black and a flash of light. She lifts her head to look back into the cave where she knew a pack would be staring back at her. Something takes a step forward.

A wolf.

Not just any wolf. A huge, black, mouth-full-of-teeth, one. It looks at her with its piercing yellow eyes as it steps closer and closer until it stops right in front of her. It peers down at her and Edith holds her breath for what’s about to happen next, a gruesome end to her journey. She closes her eyes and waits.


Well that definitely will catch you off guard there wow, that seems like a pretty ferocious sight there. I honestly can't think of how Edith here is going to get out of this situation and it seems she's gone and accepted her fate pretty quickly too from the looks of things.

She waits for something that never comes. She hears a series of disgusting pops and stretching and only after it’s over does she open her eyes. But not to a wolf who was there a second ago.

A boy of the age of seventeen with somewhat long black hair and a middle part, half of it covering his right eyebrow. He has the same yellow eyes as the wolf and his lips are quirked up in a smile. He holds out his hand for her.

“Stop playing in the dirt like a dog, don’t you have things to do?”


Okay that's a little rude there as far as a greeting goes, but well that is certainly quite a surprising twist there. I was expecting something to save her of course, but this was certainly not it and I can't figure out for the life of me if this wolf is actually a wolf that is somehow tame or just a really scary looking dog.

She stares at him until she eventually snaps out of it and ignores his hand as she stands up on her own. She looks for her basket and is dismayed to see that one of the wolves behind the boy is holding it in its mouth. She swallows hard and dusts herself off.

“I… would like my basket please?” She says, she wills her voice to be steady and unfortunately that wish isn’t granted.

“Ah, yes. Aragorn? Her basket please.” Aragorn creeps forward and leaves it at his feet. The boy picks it up and hands it to her after cleaning the handles with his shirt. “Here you go, we haven’t touched anything inside of it while you were out dancing.”


Okayy well that's certainly not an ideal situation. Now I'm starting to think this is actual a bit more of a werewolf situation than anything else here especially given the whole watching part of the equation which arguably makes this set of wolves more scary than an actual feral pack out to eat Edith.

She reaches out and takes it from his warm hand. He smiles and avoids his eyes, he’s a werewolf. They were dangerous and unpredictable, not people she wanted to mess with.

“Thank you.” She says softly. “I must be off.” She turns around to the doorway and stares at the rain coming down hard, a few minutes ago she had been so happy to be out in it but now she dreaded it.

“Or you could stay here, we won’t hurt you.” He suggests behind her. “You’ve met Aragorn. The others are Cypress, Fenrir, and Lupa.” He gestures to each wolf as he says their names. They don’t show any signs of aggression or bloodthirst, they even nod to her as they are called. She also notes he didn’t introduce himself although he does look a tad bit familiar…


Okayy well I certainly don't trust either of these people especially with those names, having confirmed this does seem to be a few werewolves here. Those definitely don't seem like names that one tends to use for non violent purposes and the whole watching thing and appearing suddenly don't help their cause. I think Edith has the right idea here at the moment.

“You don’t want to be sick, when you go up against your grandmother she will be stronger and it will be harder to overcome her and end her, even if you’re perfectly healthy.”

Her head snaps up and she narrows her eyes at him. She had been gripping her dagger in her basket but at the comment, she had dropped it back in her basket and let her hand fall to her side.

“How did you know?” She asks. “I haven’t told anyone, neither has my mother.” She doesn’t think her mother told anyone for she barely talks to people. The only two other options are he intercepted the letter but then how would he understand the part about the crow… the last option is that he knows Nana.


Oh that is most definitely going to ring some bells right there and of the alarming kind there. Of course it could just mean that this fellow happens to now her grandmother but the fact that he also seems to know her enough to make a statement like this really is quite questionable.

“Your grandma told me, Edith.”

She stares at him. “How do you know my name?” She asks, taking a step back. She can feel the back half of her getting pelted with rain.

“You really don’t remember me? I’m Maiken, the boy you played with when you were at Nana’s?” He takes a step forward, his eyebrows furrowed.

Her jaw goes slack and her eyes wide. “M-Maiken? I thought you were an imaginary friend… because wll I figured Nana would never let me play with werewolves..”


That is a very interesting twist. Okayy...well I suppose you could go and maybe trust that, but that's just a little convoluted of a story for it to makes sense for me. I can't even begin and try see the threads that would have tangle perfectly for this particular result to be spit out.

“No, I’m not imaginary. I really thought you recognized me though.”

She looks away. “Yeah, kinda. You look a lot different than from when you were eight though.”

“I suppose so. Will you stay then? I hope you know that I meant it, when I said we won’t hurt you.”

She glances outside, she doesn’t see any point in trekking through that rain. “I guess I have no other choice.”


Ahhh I don't know about this particular decision here. The wolf is never meant to the good guy in these stories too, so well I'm just gonna go ahead and stay worried for poor Edith here. Hopefully it does in fact turn out for the better but there's no telling with these things.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think we've got ourselves a pretty interesting place to leave this one off here. Definitely a point where I can't wait to see how the rest of this is going to end up turning out because as much as it seems like a safe ish place to end off the uneasiness of things is a bit too much here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




ImlayTheDay says...


Ah, I'm glad you enjoyed this one too! What I was trying to do when she closes her eyes and waits is for the reader to see or figure out that maybe the only reason she did that was because she wanted it to end, because she didn't want to kill someone she loved, Savage or not.



KateHardy says...


Hmm...if I read this again knowing this I can see how that would connect, but I think there's not nearly enough reference to what she has to do since that was all the way back in the first chapter for that connection to be made particularly easily. Maybe if you threw in a bit more of a reminder there that connection would be a little easier to make. Just one random thought should do. There is already the idea of the journey coming to an end but at least for me it wasn't quite strong enough of a reference to make the connection.



ImlayTheDay says...


Done.



KateHardy says...


I think that does the trick :)



User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 57
Reviews: 18

Donate
Sun Dec 04, 2022 1:22 am
ccarson wrote a review...



-Cleo Carson speaking

Waitaminute Edith is doing WHAT now? Also, 5th paragraph up from the bottom, it appears you accidentally typed "though" rather than "thought." From what I'm getting(correct me if I'm wrong), Edith was going to m*rder her grandmother?! Now that's bossfight material right there. Expect a *bossfight music intensifies* from me when that scene comes XD. I would be terrified though if I found out my "imaginary" friend was actually real. I can't wait for the next chapter!

-Corp. C. Carson
[REDACTED] County Sheriff's Office




ImlayTheDay says...


I thought it was clear in the first chapter XD. Quite the surprise for you! She has to kill her because she went Savage. I'm glad you're enjoying this! I'll be sure to write it soon.



ccarson says...


Thanks! I'll read it as soon as it comes out!
-Cleo Carson




Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.
— Enid Bagnold