Young Writers Society

These are two excerpts from the whole story, they will not be placed with each other and I'm not sure where in the story I'm going put them, but it will be present somewhere. I don't usually write in chronological order, because I think it's easier if I get the main happenings plotted down first.

I realize that you won't understand what's going on and stuff, because I have most of the plot in my head, but I would really appreciate feedback on the writing.

Jason is Hannahs brother.

Noah is Jasons best friend

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hannah,” Noah said in a grave voice, mocking me.

“Noah,” I replied.

“I hear you’re wondering about the way of the world,” he said, grinning.

I shot Jason a dark look. He just shrugged and grinned along with his best friend.

“I am not wondering about the way of the world,” I snapped, “I’m just wondering about why we do things the way we do them. Why we are keeping track of one another when there is no reason for it. Why does anyone need to know which bus I took to town and what time I purchased my book there and how much I paid for it? It just doesn’t make sense, because it’s so pointless. What does it matter to anyone?”

“Gee, Jason, I wonder why we never asked ourselves that before!” Noah exclaimed, fake excitement in his voice.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who are you?” he raged, walking furiously towards me.

“I’m- I’m Hannah Ellis Geo- Georges, s- sir,” I stammered in a whisper, fear seeping into my body as The Minister moved closer. He came to a halt right in front of me, and stared down at my face. It was all I could do to keep standing.

“Is it you that has been causing trouble for me?” he asked, and put a hand on my shoulder, gripping it tight. I shivered.

“Well, s- sir, that would de- depend,” I answered, trying to buy myself time to think, although I knew I would not be able to, no matter how much time I had. Not with him staring me down like this.

The Minister opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. It looked as if comprehension had crossed his face, although I could not be sure. The eyes that had been ice cold a moment ago now seemed wondering. His grip on my shoulder hardened and he moved even closer to me, bowing his head down. I could feel his breath on my face now. It was not an unpleasant smell, but it made my own breathing quicken with anxiety and fear.

“Did you say your name was Hannah Ellis?” he asked in a whisper.

I nodded, “Hannah Ellis Georges,” I said, keeping my voice surprisingly steady.

The minister closed his eyes and sighed. “Come,” he demanded. His hand travelled from my shoulder to my back as he moved to my side. Then he started pushing me forwards and my frozen legs moved clumsily underneath me, carrying me towards the great doors at the far end of the enormous hall.

I looked back over my shoulder. Noah, who had fell silent as The Minister arrived, now looked into my eyes as I rested mine upon his face. I started to cry from fear, and Noah screamed. He ran after us, and I stopped, turning towards him.

“Grab him,” The Minister ordered in a quiet voice, and the Unseen Ones ran after Noah, closing in on him at once and knocking him to the ground.

“NO!” I screamed. Then I felt my feet disappearing underneath me, and realized that The Minister had lifted me up and was now running away with me.

“NOAH!” I kept screaming, and tried to wriggle myself out of The Minister’s arms, but we were almost at the doors and my struggles were futile.

“HANNAH!” Noah screamed. I couldn’t see him, but his voice echoed and I could hear the despair in it. Then we were at the doors. The Minister kicked them open and continued through them. The bright daylight blinded me.