I must find one. I have to vanquish a beast that's been hiding in the corners of the green lands for over a month so I may fulfill the checklist challenge. Where are these things hiding?
Knight Hardy sneaks around wearing a second hand green cape...ahem...strides majestically atop his unicorn Elysium wearing his full battle armor, shining so brightly that the narrator was too blinded to come up with an appropriate comparison.
After hours of searching, he spots them, a cluster of beasts hiding behind a rock named "Oldest works". He spots several poetic beasts huddled together, a few stranded chapters hiding among them. As he sizes them up, trying to decide which one to take down, he sees it. A massive 7,038 word long beast, hiding at the very back of the pack. It's a chapter one. It is the only chapter one beast he can spot. He takes one last desperate look around praying for a smaller beast that was a chapter one, but there is none in sight.
He bravely steps towards the beast and it spots him.
"I am Tavernkeep," it announces.
Harry takes a second look at its size.
The best takes a step towards him.
"AHHHHHH!" screams Harry, trembling in fear.
"cough" Mr. Narrator, I hired you to do one job. Just the one.
My apologies. I meant to say...
Harry stares the beast down, jaw set in a challenge. "And I am Knight Hardy of the Underworld, Slayer of Insert Appropriately Impressive Beast's name Here. I do not fear thee Tavernkeep."
"Oh you will," says the beast and charges.
Harry turns the other way and prepares to run away cape between his legs.
Sorry, won't happen again.
Harry readies his Lance. Elysium lets out a "whatever sound unicorns make" and stomps the ground in challenge. Harry urges Elysium forward and the two charge at the beast.
The fight is long and rather boring. Harry keeps running, occasionally turning around to jab at the beast, slowly wearing it down until the beast collapses out of sheer boredom from chasing Harry for too long.
Mr. Narrator, this is your final warning. I will not hesitate to fire you.
Sorry, it just slipped out.
An epic battle ensues. The beast charges at it and Harry types up his first impression so fast that the beast does not know what hit him. A flurry of blows follow as Harry proceeds to tear the best down, paragraph by paragraph as he points out overly long descriptions, breaks in flow and impressive moments of characterization.
The beast is all but done. Harry comes in to deliver a final overall impression and the beast collapses, now on its knees.
Harry stares down at the beast from his unicorn as he delivers his famous final words. "As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest."
A flash of recognition registers in the beast's eyes. Those were the last words that over 900 of his brethren had heard before they were banished to the lands of All Literary to be lost to time.
Oh please, you barely managed to get the words out with how hard you were hyperventilating.
You're fired Mr. Narrator.
Fine, narrate your own stories!!
Anyways, now that he's gone. I promise that everything he said was totally untrue.
After the battle was over, Harry...well me...I mean...I strode off atop my unicorn, clutching the fallen beast's head, ready to add it to my Hall of the Slain.