Young Writers Society


12+

The Sorcerers of Hisderat, Chapter 9.5

by KateHardy


“How on Earth do you just know that?” asked Harry.

“Because it’s right there,” she said pointing towards the top of the shelf. Sure enough, right on the top, there was an inscription, dedicating that particular shelf to one Gerfig Alton King, author of the series The Red Creek of Luce.

“Thou art the best,” declared Harry, giving an exaggerated bow.

“Thank you, it was really easy,” said Rose, laughing at Harry’s antics.

“No, that was very observant of you,” said Harry. Terry quickly cleared his throat.

“Sorry, that looked like it was going to get a little long,” said Terry, “so that means the shelf is the clue? Not to mention we still need to figure out what the whole ‘happiness shall reek’ part of this means.”

"The shelf has to be it," said Rose, "unless you have another idea of what could fit that part of it. Its not a book, but it can technically work here."

"Hmm, why don't we try the next line as well, maybe that will help narrow it down?" suggested Terry.

“Yeah, there's a good chance,” said Harry, nodding, “Rose, any more ideas?”

“Dunno,” she said.

“Honestly, I am at a loss as well, why don’t you research the novels? Maybe that will reveal something?” asked Terry, "even if the shelf is not the clue, maybe there's some clue in what the novels are about, or maybe the clue was even in one of his novels, although that might take a lot of reading."

“Good idea,” said Harry, quickly typing away on his communicator. He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a long thin case. He produced a pair of shades and put them on. Tapping on the frame, he brought the communicator up to his face.

There was a small beep and he started reading something that looked to be appearing in his eye. Oh wow. These guys have some state of the art stuff.

“Gotcha,” he said quickly, “spot on Terry.”

“What is it?” asked Terry, moving closer to read before realizing he wouldn’t actually be able to spot anything.

“It says here that the novels were under the genre of Horror, Comedy. And hence, “happiness shall reek”. Kind of morbid sounding choice of words for happiness to be paired with but I guess whoever made this really wanted to keep the rhyme scheme,” he said smiling as he quickly put away the device and looked around the shop to make sure no one had spotted them.

“That’s great,” said Terry, “although piece of advice, if you want to ensure no one sees you use the device, you should probably check for bystanders before you take it out.”

“Got a little excited,” said Harry, sheepishly, “but we can now assume that we know what that whole stanza was talking about. It's gotta be the shelf. So I'm thinking the next stanza is probably going to be telling us more on how to find whatever secret location this thing is hidden in, not sure how we're going to get anywhere through a bookshelf but uhh...secret entrances in bookshelves have certainly been in use for centuries.”

“Correct. In fact, I think I know what the last lines of the first stanza were talking about,” said Terry.

“Oh?” asked Harry, raising his eyebrows.

“A gilded hall,” said Rose.

“Yup,” said Terry, nodding, “I believe we are supposed to “fall” which I assume refers to the method by which we will be entering this place and this place must be a “gilded hall”.”

Harry nodded, now looking very excited. “It’s all falling into place now.” He rubbed his hands together. “Come on, let’s figure out what the rest of these stanzas actually mean. They've gotta be telling us how to get in.”

“Well, down you shall travel, probably connects to that whole fall thing,” said Terry.

“And that must mean that we’re probably going underground,” said Harry, "which would make sense, that's probably the easiest place to build a secret room."

“That’s exactly what I was going to say,” said Terry nodding.

“Meaning whatever secret thing we must do in front of this shelf, this other stanza should be telling us that,” summed up Rose.

“Alright then, let’s get through that,” said Harry, “the last line of the stanza about kind is definitely pretty simple."

“Among towering piles, referring very obviously to the two giant shelves that are surrounding us, yeah, we can all very easily guess that,” said Terry, “let’s figure out what the whole tempo and fibo means. Those seem more important.”

“Tap the beat and tempo seem to refer to dancing,” said Rose, "which is weird because I hardly think a secret room would have an entrance that opens when someone dances on some tiles. Doesn't seem like the most discreet thing to be doing when you're trying to enter somewhere secret.”

“Those were probably the shining tiles at some point,” said Harry, pointing at the dull grey tiles that currently lined the floor,” I mean, this is over a hundred years ago. Tiles can get replaced, or this might as well just be general wear and tear. A century is more than long enough for a tile to lose its shine.”

“Yes,” said Terry, nodding, “and I think you’re right. We’re supposed to umm…tap dance or something to this beat that has to do with some fibo and apparently we shouldn’t lose our tempo.”

“And then we can travel down,” said Rose, "but again, I don't see how it can possible be a dance."

“Well...let's hope not,” said Terry, “I know absolutely nothing about beats or tap dancing or any dancing for that matter.”


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Sun Sep 19, 2021 5:03 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here again with a short review! :D

We are slowly coming to the end of the 9th chapter and you can see that we are getting closer and closer to the solution of the puzzle. So far I've really liked the way it's been structured. Especially because you're adding a bit of lore and wordbuilding in between, which I find very convenient and gives the whole text an interesting and refreshing undertone.

I've noticed that this chapter so far benefits a lot from the dialogue and you always manage to insert a kind of repetition, like an episode of a series, like a part is built up. I like that, and it's also appropriate for the little chunks you present here.

I'm glad we can mentally follow Terry here again. I must also say that the more I read here, the more I have the impression of being trapped somewhere. I don't know if this is the experience I've already had with all the literature I've read, but for me everything still seems a bit too simple and I'm already hoping for something brilliant in the last part.

I think sometimes it would be good if you put in a little bit of how life feels around the story. You manage to build something interesting and tangible with the worldbuilding but the immediate environment always seems to be drowned out and it sometimes feels like there aren't really any other people in the world except for the characters who are most prominent in the chapter.

Other points I noticed while reading:

dedicating that particular shelf to one Gerfig Alton King, author of the series The Red Creek of Luce.

I would highlight the title of the book in italic.

maybe there's some clue in what the novels are about, or maybe the clue was even in one of his novels, although that might take a lot of reading."

Shouldn´t it be “maybe the clue is even in one of his novels”? The books are still in existence and I´m assuming that they won't get destroyed after reading them one time.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm, this riddle is a little bit on the simpler side I think, the main sort of arc of the story comes in later, this is basically a quarter of the way through and the other riddle gets solved by chap 16 or 17 which isn't quite halfway, while other stuff happens afterwards :D



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Sat Jun 26, 2021 10:06 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



I'm gonna apologise in advance because this review is being done on my phone... so all formatting might just go out the window! I'm going to avoid quoting because it's harder to see.

I think the beginning might be another opportunity to have a slight moment between Harry and Rose if you wanted to but it depends on pacing! It might be interesting to watch their interactions from Terry's point of view. Especially if you're taking the tack of it's super obvious to everyone else but Rose and Harry are just oblivious to it all!

I still think a lot of their voices are coming across quite similar in this chapter, mostly Harry and Terry I think. If you removed the speech tags I don't think I could tell who was who!

Other than that, I think this part of the chapter actually flows really well and will work especially if you change the beginning ones around!

1 more until chapter 10!!!

~Icy




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!!

xD...I've done a couple review on the phone myself...and phew....I wouldn't wish that torture on anyone...:D

Ooh...ahh...more things to add to the notes on this chapter :)

Thanks again!!

Chapter 10's gonna have five parts too...it looks like....sorry in advance



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Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:28 pm
Spearmint wrote a review...



Oooh they're really getting into the riddle solving now!! As usual, it was super fun to read the dialogue between these characters, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next! ^-^ Alrighty, on to the review...

“Thou art the best,” declared Harry, giving an exaggerated bow.

“Thank you, it was really easy,” said Rose, laughing at Harry’s antics.

“No, that was very observant of you,” said Harry. Terry quickly cleared his throat.

“Sorry, that looked like it was going to get a little long,” said Terry...

XD This interaction between the three just feels so much like them, and I feel like it summarizes their current relationship really well too! Great job showing each character's personality here. C: Also props to Harry for complimenting Rose-- definitely appreciate your partners when they do something right!

There was a small beep and he started reading something that looked to be appearing in his eye. Oh wow. These guys have some state of the art stuff.

Okay, here I was just a tiny bit confused as to who was thinking the "Oh wow..." part. It's probably Terry, because he's new to this organization and stuff, but I think it's a little unclear because the "he" mentioned earlier in the paragraph is Harry. I feel like it could work better if Terry was mentioned in this paragraph too, like maybe "Terry watched as there was a small beep and...", but this could just be me xD Just a small thing!

“It says here that the novels were under the genre of Horror, Comedy. And hence, “happiness shall reek”.

Oho, so that's what it means... a rather clever clue in the wording here!

“Well...let's hope not,” said Terry, “I know absolutely nothing about beats or tap dancing or any dancing for that matter.”

Ahh, the next chapter part should be entertaining then... an impromptu dance party for the team, perhaps... should be very fun xD :D

Okay, that's about it for this review! Great job with this chapter part, and I hope you have a fabulous day/night!! =D




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for another review!!

xD...I probably should make the POV's clearer in some spots, they do cause confusion when the chapter gets split up. :D

And hmm...I can neither confirm nor deny there will be a dance party..xD

Thanks again :D



Spearmint says...


xD You're welcome!! =DD



KateHardy says...


:D



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Wed Jun 16, 2021 12:43 am
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CyonetheStarbringer wrote a review...



“How on Earth do you just know that?” asked Harry.

“Because it’s right there,” she said pointing towards the top of the shelf. Sure enough, right on the top, there was an inscription, dedicating that particular shelf to one Gerfig Alton King, author of the series The Red Creek of Luce.

“Thou art the best,” declared Harry, giving an exaggerated bow.

I like that you started this with dialogue.
Dialogue is definitely engaging, promising a story of intrigue, and action, which I think is the vibe your going for. A good analogy I've heard for it actually, is as a contract-the start of a story (or in your case a novel), the author promises that the novel is going to be, say, about cats, the reader will then read the rest of the novel with the expectation that it will be about cats, nothing else.
You do a good job of setting up that contract.
I hope I explained it well hahah.
‘happiness shall reek’ part of this means.”

Reek doesn't seem to match that well with the word happiness to me. But that's just me ^^

but uhh...secret entrances in bookshelves have certainly been in use for centuries.”

Hehehe, I get the impression he's trying to sound knowledgeable or something haha XD
“Well...let's hope not,” said Terry, “I know absolutely nothing about beats or tap dancing or any dancing for that matter.”

I'm just getting flash backs to the previous chapter I reviewed, and the whole tapping scenario they had going on there xxxddd
Aaand that concludes this review! I hope you found it helpful ^^
BROUGHT TO YOU BY...
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KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Wed Jun 09, 2021 2:34 am
TheMythMaster wrote a review...



Hey Harry I noticed this part still hasn’t been reviewed so I’m here to do it!

I haven’t read any of the other chapters so I may miss some things related to the rest of the story.


“How on Earth do you just know that?” asked Harry.

“Because it’s right there,” she said

Nice beginning,

“What is it?” asked Terry, moving closer to read before realizing he wouldn’t actually be able to spot anything.

Nice description, it feels like a movie, which is always good. (also this is just funny)

said Harry, sheepishly, “but can know assume that we know what that whole stanza was talking about.

ok I'm not really an expert on grammar, but it feels like there should be a, "we" or "I" before "can know" i don't know maybe not but something about it feels off.
Also I think, "know" is supposed to be "now".

Aaaaaand that's all I can find, other than that I enjoyed reading this and will probably be reading more of the story. ( :

Nicely done
-Myth




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!




I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
— Steven Wright