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The Sorcerers of Hisderat, Chapter 12.2

by HarryHardy

Rose reacted the fastest, pushing Harry out of the way and sending them tumbling to the floor. Terry waved his hand and sank into the stone, the ghost charging right past him.

Rose got to her feet, firing off a quick freezing spell. It passed right through the ghost. The ghost turned to face them, several others rising from the floor like weeds growing on fast forward. 

Terry launched himself out of his hole, doing a quick somersault in the air and coming up standing. Harry also scrambled to his feet. This is going to get ugly.

“I don’t think we’re going to be able to kill these things,” said Harry, as the three of them scattered to dodge the charging ghosts. “And I just can’t afford to risk burning out on magic if we’re going to visit the other place as well today. We’re going to have to try and grab whatever this thing is and run. Fast.”

“Noted,” said Terry, running up the wall to avoid and attempt by three ghosts to corner him. He did a quick backflip, landing behind the ghosts that promptly proceeded to run through the wall.

“One of us will have to go for the key,” said Rose. She was doing her own running, playing it like a very dangerous game of tag, darting around the four ghosts attacking her.

“Yeah, that seems like best idea,” said Harry. As he said it, the two ghosts who were not occupied, charged towards him. He rolled out of the way just in time, a current of cold air catching his side as the ghost's fingertips trailed past him.

Harry got to his feet at took off in the direction of where they'd come from, putting a bit of distance between him and the two ghosts on his tail. He swivelled around after gaining a decent lead, trying to use the time to think of the best way to get rid of a ghost without using too much magic. From his initial read of the area earlier, he knew all of these spirits were bound to this location somehow so banishing them completely was out of the question without a large display of magic. 

Before he could figure out anything more, the ghosts were onto him once again. Mustering up a large burst of energy, he turned around rapidly before jumping into a backflip, landing behind the ghosts. He ran back towards the others.

“We can't keep dodging,” said Harry. “Before they can tire us out, we need to act. Clarke, you’re the dirt guy, think you can slink around and find things out?”

“I can definitely try,” said Terry. He was on the roof, feet glowing purple as he ran along with the floating ghosts chasing after him. Harry didn't see how that was any sort of advantage in the fight, but Terry was holding his own pretty well.

“Let’s try to regroup and then, you go for it, okay,” said Harry, as he rolled between two ghosts. “Rose, fall back.”

“On it,” she said. 

Rose ran towards Harry, she vaulting over a pack of ghosts using gusts of wind to propel her up into the air. Terry did the same, still stuck to the roof. Harry ducked an attempted swipe by the ghosts on his tail and dived onto the floor, shifting into a cat. Harry the cat run right under the legs of the ghosts.

Rose skidded to a halt, just as Terry dropped down, flipping in midair to land on his feet. Harry the cat jumped, turning into a human and coming up standing, shoulder to shoulder with Rose. Terry was a few feet off but he quickly backed up to join the two of them. The dozen or ghosts that had risen up over the course of the fight stood in a ring around them. 

“Clarke go for it, Rose, let’s see how far we can stretch out magic for the day while keeping enough for whatever thing we run into next,” said Harry. Before the other two could nod their agreement, the ghosts were already charging for them. The trio burst into action.

Terry dived towards the floor as if he was just about to jump into a swimming pool. He went hands first into the stone, sinking right into it. Rose went for the old fashioned charge, a jolt of pink energy pulsing out in a wave that passed right through the ghosts. 

The ghosts momentarily faltered at the surge of energy. Harry frowned. That was interesting. Spirits shouldn't be reacting to general surges like that. Shrugging and deciding to think on that later, Harry joined the charge, taking the flashier route as he executed a perfect cartwheel right over the ghosts before taking off at full speed, five ghosts in pursuit.

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Wed Oct 13, 2021 5:35 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi Harry,
Mailice back with a short review! :D
That was a good build-up of tension you put in here. Especially at the beginning, I like how the structure you used earlier in the last part shows up again and despite the quick succession of events, you manage to keep what's important there for such a moment.

What I liked here is how everything really feels like a slide, where you get from one point to the next without it coming straight to a filler, because you use it to build up to the next part. I like how the voice changes here and Harry, still giving a bit of a confident performance in the previous part, is now already having some doubts and Rose also seems generally well developed in this section after everything has gone so well.

This is also a point that I really like in this part and would like to highlight alongside the last part of the chapter; the interactions of the characters, especially Rose and Harry seem to be on chord and flow perfectly into the story. It doesn't feel clichéd or cheesy in any way, you're developing your own extension here that you've seen many times before, just in a new, very tense situation.

I also like the shift from this dialogue to the more narrative in the second half, which also gives the part a good shift to the next. I don't know how you set this up, but I think it's a good technique you use to surprise the reader with a cliffhanger.
One other point I noticed while reading:

"Yeah, that seems like best idea,"
 I think "the" is missing here after the "like".
Have fun writing!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
— LCDR Data