Young Writers Society

Hello @Haileyg21! I'll be popping in here for a quick review. Hope you're having a wonderful day/night wherever you're at! Alright, let's hop right in.

As miss Spunky and Hannah mentioned below, there were several spelling and grammar mistakes, but as this piece is just voicing your opinion, I figured that you probably don't want me to go over that so let me just get right to the point.

There are a couple of things that I agree and partially disagree about certain subjects in here. Firstly, I'm gonna start with the first paragraph because... chronological order.

Living in our world today is scary. What if one day our oxygen just gives up? What happens to the generations after that? How do we as people make it so that we're ok mentally after we have set the future generations to the certain death we have?

The farm land area that I was born to is now A large shopping center. A lot of the area around that is corporation buildings. I want the generations after us to know what it feels like to not cough when you enter a city. I want them to have clean water. To see forest that aren't apart of a park. I want them to climb trees and swim in rivers.

We as people have been killing the earth since we stepped our first foot on it. We killed animals, Nature, the water, the air and yet we're fine with it.

I know that my generation has to see some idea that this is wrong. The earth that Nurtured us, kept our species going, is getting killed for no reason. We're doing something that is selfish. We're taking from the entire planet things that we way to much. We don't need everything we have taken yet we still keep taking. Its time we gave back. Its our time to prove to the world that We love it. Not just stand back as someone kills it. We need to go with the flow. Its 2021 and we're still not getting it.

Hello! Hannah here for a quick review. If you do not agree with my corrections, then ignore them. I don't know if the random capitalization in the sentences are supposed to be there or not, but just in case.


"The farm land area that I was born to is now A large shopping center."

The "A" shouldn't be capitalized.

"We killed animals, Nature, the water, the air and yet we're fine with it."

"Nature" does not need a capital N.

"Im not morally ok with that, Are you?"

"Im" needs an apostrophe between the two letters, and "Are" should not be capitalized.

"The earth that Nurtured us,"

The N in "Nurtured" shouldn't be capitalized.

"We're taking from the entire planet things that we way to much"
I don't really understand what that means.


"Our worlds falling apart."
It should be "Our world is falling apart"

"The earth that Nurtured us, kept our species going, is getting killed for no reason."

This sentence was not grammatically correct. I would rewrite it like this.

"The Earth that nurtured us and kept our species going is getting killed for no reason."



Other than the grammar mistakes, I loved this! It is important to be aware of this, and I agree with pretty much everything in this. My vote is yes. I hope you had a merry Christmas, a happy New Year, that you keep writing and have a great day!


Hannah

The farm land area that I was born to is now A large shopping center.

We killed animals, Nature, the water, the air and yet we're fine with it.

Im not morally ok with that, Are you?

The earth that Nurtured us,

We're taking from the entire planet things that we way to much