I Wear Button-Ups to College

Hey Gummy Bears!

~MergSword here with a review!

I can sort of relate to this. Although, I'm not in college yet. Too young! Rather, when I was younger than what I am now. My mother would try to get me to wear fancy pretty handsome things for picture day back in K-3 meanwhile everybody else was wearing something casual. Although in my opinion I don't think looking sharp around casually dressed people is so great....I don't know why but I just get this weird, odd, unusual feeling when I'm dressed this way.

I don't live in the Caribbean, but I will take your word when you say it gets hot.

I like how the last too lines rhyme meanwhile the other rest of them don't. It just adds a nice touch too the ending.

Great Job!

I loved your previous poem so I had to give this a read.

I have two things I would like to point out which will help make this even better.
And looks can always help make the grade.
This line disrupted the whole flow that I had going, I reckon it's a little too long.
Even if you're about to fall apart...
Before this last line, nothing really rhymed. But sharp and apart sound very similar, so it was odd to read a rhyme once but nowhere else. I'm also wondering why he's about to fall apart; is it because the button-ups have made him boiling hot underneath? I suggest you say why.

Suggestions aside, this was a fun and humorous poem. Clip-clops of flip-flops was a great touch- it just added to the silliness (I don't even know if I spelled that right but I don't care). :p Thanks for sharing!

Hahah! Hi Gummy. I like your poem. I, myself, live in the Caribbean, and I spent the summer thinking about that. It's interesting how we tend to copy trends that come from other countries, even if they are impractical, as you say, just because they makes us look/feel more legitimate, right? I love your poem very much. *likes*

P.S. I wear button-ups to college too. x.x

Hello, Willow here.

There really isn't that much to talk about improvement wise so I'm gonna just go section by section to say what bugged me

First stanza, i woild get rid of short shorts as a whole (from the world and you peice). It,smreally just riding along on your poem like a misquito on your winsheild. It didn't really add anything for me, cause T-shirts got the point across, and it was more distracting than helpful. Same with clip-clops of flip-flops, it messed up the tone of the peice which really didn't have any rhyming and made it seem a little corny rather than the more tense and (I wouldn,t say serious, but also not playful).

Thrid stanza, the last line needs work. It,s too cliché and it doesn't fit in right with me. Whether it,s the rhythm or the tone or just the way the words sound, I have no idea, but it might be all of them. Try out a few different variations if you can, cause I like the point (it adds to the panicky tone) but the way it,s stated could be better.

That,s really it. I enjoyed the poem and the message. It was very calm and casual while also slightly panicked because it's the first day. The tone fit perfectly with the idea and you presented it at the perfect length instead of going on and on to fit in as much style as possible. Perfect.

Sincerly, Willow