There were raised eyebrows, there were whispers, there were giggles, and then there were two smiles. Megan, smiling, walked into her 5th period Social Studies class with Mrs. Drake. The stern plaster face of her teacher had finally cracked, and light in the form of a smile was finally spilling out.
"Welcome back." The words held no spite, only a strange kind of happiness.
Meg took a seat next to someone who had previously gone unnoticed in her class, in fact three of her other classes as well. Chris. He was not smiling only because he was in the midst of an intense argument with the boy sitting on the other side of him.
Megan laughed and gently tapped his shoulder. He swung around in his seat with a rather annoyed expression and his mouth halfway open. About to lecture the would-be tormentor, his eyes (and mouth) widened further.
“Stop that, silly, you’re going to catch flies,” Meg admonished, giggling. Chris shut his mouth, but his green eyes stayed wide open.
“You’re back!” he finally said. Without paying attention to the teacher, who had already started talking to the class, Chris jumped out of his seat to hug Megan. The whole class fell silent, and Mrs. Drake began walking towards the two of them with measured steps.
The friends quickly detached from each other as Mrs. Drake stood over Megan. The teacher’s hand came down on her back and she cringed.
“You’ve done well, Megan,” she said softly. “I hope you’ve learned a lot and you will remember this for the future.” Meg nodded, then stood up and done something she couldn’t have imagined doing just a few days ago. She embraced her teacher.
School after that seemed to go considerably better. She managed to pick up most of her grades (she was still struggling with Spanish) and she finally had a friend to sit with at lunch.
One day, an adorable girl came up to Meg’s table with Chris. The two looked up at her and waved.
“H-hi guys,” she said tentatively. “Um, would it be okay if I sat with you?” She held a blue lunch box and some books, and Meg looked down at her school-made “hot lunch”.
“Yeah, of course!” Megan exclaimed. Another friend was always welcome. “Are you new here? I haven’t seen you around before.”
“Um, no, I’ve been here for a while now.” She set her things down on the bench and opened up one of the folders she had been carrying.
Chris leaned back and pointed. “Ah, you were the one who won that art award last year?” The girl nodded, her short brown hair bobbing up and down. “Congratulations. You’re… you’re, uh, Isabelle, right?” Another nod in response.
“Megan?” Isabelle asked, and the girl turned towards her. “Uh, Mrs. Drake wanted me to come talk to you about something.” Meg raised her eyebrows as Isabelle pulled a sheaf of papers from her folder.
“See, I’ve got the lead role in this upcoming spring musical…” she began, and Megan’s eyes lit up. As she pictured the part in her mind, she could suddenly envision Isabelle becoming more and more confident, and how she fit the part so well, how she could execute it all perfectly with just the right attitude.
“Is this how she sees things all the time?” Meg breathed. Isabelle suddenly stopped talking and both she and Chris turned to look at her. “Uh, never mind. I just got this impression that Isabelle would be absolutely perfect for this part.” Chris shrugged and looked at Isabelle again, but he couldn’t see what Megan just saw. Even her vision was fading.
“Yes, well, I just don’t see that myself,” Isabelle worried. “How do I get there?”
“Ah, well, first we need to start with basic memorization and how you say the lines,” Meg went into full teacher mode. “Let’s hear your lines.”
Isabelle began to speak, but Megan cut her off quickly. “Sorry, Isabelle, but you need to increase your volume. You’ll get mics, but it’s always good to practice anyway. You never know when the system is going to stop working!”
“Alright,” Isabelle said. She then recited the words again, and again Megan stopped her.
“Errh, I’m really sorry Isabelle, but we’ve got quite a bit of work to do,” Meg sighed. Isabelle simply sat attentively, waiting to hear Megan’s next instructions. She was impressed with this shy girl.
“What I want you to do is read over the lines, but in your head. Try to picture the emotion they are trying to convey, what your character is feeling. Then, I want you to read it again with that in mind.”
Megan, Chris, and Isabelle established a habit of having lunches together and practicing after school together. Meg and Chris had talked to Mrs. Drake, and she had agreed to let them take backup roles, and for once in her life Megan was happy to have just that.
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Hey, I'm here for my (probably) last review of this novel!
This sentence needs an addition, which is '...in fact in...' because the wording is awkward right now. However, the 'in' would be quite a repetition, so I suggest to paraphrase the sentence. This is an example:
I like how you introduce Chris in this chapter. We see a new side of him, and it's refreshing. I pretty much like the loud spoken part of him since we didn't see this previously. It's an interesting contrast to his quiet, cool persona before. It's also pretty sweet and cute when you portray him that way. The facial expression is on spot too.
... I SHIP THEM, OKAY? Chris is just so sweet! His spontaneous action just shows how much Megan means to him, and he doesn't care about others because he wants to express that. It's pretty exciting how the class falls silent all of a sudden, how they turn their attention to the seemingly romantic couple, and Mrs. Drake's walking towards them is just suspenseful!
I would suggest you elaborate this part. As it is, Chris is someone important to her because he's really a true friend. Since it's been quite a while for her to have a friend at lunch, it must be a pleasant change. Describe it. Explore more of her thoughts on how Chris lightens her life, what does he help her going through in school, and just how much changes he gives to her generally. Their relationship is among the focal point here, you should focus on that.
I don't like how convenient this whole thing is. Megan's been eyeing for that spot, so it's kind of strange for her to have a complete 180 degree about it and suddenly can picture someone else who can play her desired part perfectly. Not only that, Isabelle is just introduced right now, so we don't know how well she would be playing that part. There's no foundation to it, and it makes this part a bit shallow and just scratching on the surface. Not to mention out of a sudden.
Right, so one more commentary is at the end when Megan criticizes Isabelle's recital. I feel like this can be postponed later as the setting is unfit (they're in the canteen having lunch, after all) so a quick 'alright, let's meet again after school so I can teach you how to recite' is good to replace this rather awkward process.
All in all, there's nothing much to say about your writing. It's pretty solid, and most of the parts are executed in a nice flow. I just remind you to take a bit of time and think about certain parts in your chapter than can be improved on as a whole. That is all, keep up the good job!
Hello!
I was wondering when Isabelle would come into play.
Anyway, time for the (rather short) review!
Here comes Isabelle, here comes Isabelle, right down friendship lane!
I'm a bit confused here... What did she do well with? Did the teacher somehow know about how Megan had called 911 and gotten help? If so, I would include this somewhere.
Is this Py asking how she sees things through Megan? Or is this Megan talking about Isabelle somehow? I just feel there's more to this sentence and it loses me for a second while reading. (Sorry if it's really obvious what you're talking about, I've been running on caffeine and about 5 hours of sleep. Please forgive me.)
Other than that, I thought this was overall pretty good! Great job and keep writing!
~Snazz Pizzazz
Sorry about not having reviewed this earlier, Falconer; my parents are saying that I've been spending too much time on my computer, so I've been trying to reduce that (I also agree with them, as much as I'd rather not. <.< ). Besides, I've had a busy morning, so I haven't had much time to review anyways. But I don't want to bore you with the details - I'm here to review, and that's what I'm going to be doing.

First and foremost, I am both happy and slightly disturbed that things are going so well for Megan. The stern face of Mrs. Drake has been shattered by a welcoming glow, and, suddenly, Megan's life has taken a turn for the better. I was so happy when she talked to, and surprised, Chris, as well as when she hugged her teacher. This story is warm, welcoming, and a decent contrast from the more somber tone of previous chapters. Here, you're giving readers a break, an opportunity to grow closer to the characters in the story, and setting up the background for future scenes. In all, that put a smile on my face, but those little voices in the back of my head kept yelling, "No! No! You know that this can't stay good for long!" After all, it seems that Meg's life is becoming too good. She now has a new friend, they're practicing for a play in the future, and Megan has a backup role in the play. Everything is happy, everything is calm; ironically, that scares me. XD In the previous chapter, she's had to go through so much hardship, and now I have the worry that, as quick as her life became happier and more peaceful, it will turn the other way. I am, in no way, criticizing, your writing - on the contrary, I believe that this is good! The people who read can become interested in reading the story; they become more curious as to what will happen next in her life. In all, the sense of mystery pervades the chapter, lead them onward into other chapters, which is an absolutely wonderful job on your part. Therefore, I must praise you for the plot and emotions in the story.
As a side note, I'd also like to state that, for some reason, when Isabelle introduced herself, I got a creepy feeling about her, and it's a little hard for me to shake off. I have a feeling that she will play an important part in the plot's future, and I'm curious to see whether or not she remains as a shy, peaceful protagonist, or shifts to a more antagonistic role.
Nonetheless, in all, this story is lovely. It is beautifully written, and your details are fantastic. I enjoy the sense of warmth and peace that runs through this story, and I feel happy after having read it. The sense of mystery captivates me, and leaves me wanting to read more. I liked reading this from start to finish, and I look forward to more. Nicely done!
Thank you!
I still haven't quite decided about the next part of Megan's life, but I did figure the readers might need a little break in here.
Thanks for reading this and I'm glad you liked it!
Howdy, Snapper! RagingLive here from Team Tardis to give you a review on Chapter Ten of Taste of Life!
First of all, I haven't read your other chapters, but I found this one very well-written! If I ever get time, I'd like to go back and read your other chapters! I did find some room for improvement, so let's get started with the review!
The use of parenthesis here seem a bit unprofessional to me. I would suggest that you replace them with hyphens instead, like this:
"About to lecture the would-be tormentor, his eyes - and mouth - widened further."
I believe that I saw a few other areas where this might be a good rule to practice.
Okay, exclamation mark and then just a plain old 'said' don't really match up. 'He exclaimed' might work, as well as just about any other exclamatory synonym that you can dream up. Also, you'll want to capitalize the word 'he' if you intend to keep the exclamation mark.
I want to suggest that you use something like 'eh' at the beginning instead of what you have now. I'm not sure if it will be any more professional, but I suppose that you could use 'erm' as well.
I think that the ending was very cute, and the way that you said 'and for once in her life Megan was happy to have just that' piqued my interest. Hopefully I can look into this novel in the future!
Keep writing and keep on smiling!!
~RagingLive
Thanks, Rage! I'll see what I can do about those things, and sorry for my weird sound words ("Errh"). You actually got to read one of the more normal chapters!!
Thank you for the review.
Glad I could help! Go Team Tardis!
Hello!
Stegosaurus here for a review (for team Tardis)!
{little warning: this review has nothing to do with the previous chapters so here we go!}
What an awesome chapter, Falco! It seems more calm as instead of Megan going back and forth into her other self- which could make her parents scared beyond belief... rather in a coma state than anything. Anyway, I enjoyed how you made Megan go back to school from something that was quite horrible for someone- also how the teacher is so kind (I feel like something is going to happen to the teacher
Just Saying. I feel like this the main part where it is a rainbow before a storm (or it is the other way around)Also in the previous chapter, it seems that Meg and Chris are starting a new friendship, which is lovely! Yet a question, that could be answered since it is dumb (duh) but where does Megan go in the beginning? The previous chapter says the police station.. I think I answered my own question.
I feel like the characters seem to progress nicely in this little chapter of your novel- I liked the, mostly since it seems to show that Megan is finally happy (yet to me I think something might make her un-happy)
This is a good beginning however it didn't seem to be drag me in. I mean, it does yet however it seems to just drag the point across-- and commas splices (however that could be just me, in general). What I suggest is re-reading this line and try to find the most easiest way to re-write it. An example could be:
There were raised eyebrows, whispers, giggles, and two smiles. Megan
smilingwalked into her 5th period Social Studies class with Mrs. Drake. However, you can do it your own way-- you are the writer!I feel like this sentence seems dragged on. Also I would remove the parenthesis around 'and mouth'.
Overall, nice job between the two characters (and Isabelle)! I liked the relationship they all share and this line seems to be my favorite:
Because we see Megan as a teacher and a learner; nicely done.
If you want me to go over anything, let me know! I hope to read more from you!
Steggy
Hi Steggy! Thank you for the review- I will see what I can do. I think it's more of the rainbow in between storms...
Glad you liked it!