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by EsmerayaRose

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

I don't understand why I was born this way
Why is life so confusing?
Why does it hurt so badly?
Why are my eyes so empty?
But most of all
Why do I have these voices?
Is it because I took them from someone?
Why are they screaming in my head so loudly?
Why are they urging me to do things that aren't so holy?
What I don't understand is
Why they work together to destroy me
Why do they keep trying to make me something I'm not?
Why do I keep putting up with it?
Why am I so scared?
Why am I so attracted to these things?
Why am I still listening to it?

I don't understand why I was born this way

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111 Reviews

Points: 1687
Reviews: 111

Mon Sep 20, 2021 6:58 am
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AilahEvelynMae wrote a review...

Hi there friend, Ellie here!

Reading this was like a breath of fresh air that I desperately needed. I love it when other peoples poetry lets me and enables me to be able to truly connect and feel this way. Thank you for writing this. I can tell that this is something that may not only be written about yourself, but can be applicable to any person who reads it. This asks questions that we all have, with boldness and strength and confidence.

Pleased to have read this! Please write more :)


EsmerayaRose says...

Gratefulness for the review sorry for replying so late.

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109 Reviews

Points: 183
Reviews: 109

Tue Mar 09, 2021 10:37 am
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illy7896 wrote a review...

As soon as I saw this, I could totally relate. It adds a sense of confusion, hysteria to things that you can't control. You can't understand what these things are that haunt your life, but you know what they are. You know what it is but it's that sense of being restrained and held back. It's done in a very innocent and naive way, but that really just adds to the poem because as I said, it gives that hysteria. It's like finding yourself for the first time and confronted by all of these issues and question.

Firstly, could you answer these? Maybe you could have a bit where you reflect and you calm that hysteria and it goes from confusion to hesitant acceptance. The bit where you know, and you stop asking why, but you just know, and it overwhelms you. This would give the impression of acknowledgement to the reader: Why are my eyes so empty? Because I am empty? (This is just an example obviously)
This is up to you however I think that this would develop and extend on the emotions within this poem.

These are just minor points:

Why is life is so confusing

With this line, it should be 'Why is life so confusing', without the second 'is'.

Why are they urging me to things that aren't so holy?

This should be 'Why are they urging me to do things that aren't so holy?' Just add in a do here.

What understand most is

'What I don't understand most is'

These are just very nitpicky errors and don't take the meaning away from the poem. I also liked the way you have used 'so' because it makes more of an impact on the audience and it was effective in your poem.

Great job and keep writing!

EsmerayaRose says...

Hi, thanks for the review. I just wanted to say I kind of fixed it a little let me know what you think.

illy7896 says...

Yeah, I think that it has improved and thank you for taking my suggestions.

EsmerayaRose says...

No thank you

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118 Reviews

Points: 7737
Reviews: 118

Tue Mar 09, 2021 1:04 am
Coffeeboyjay says...

i love the poem but you could of change it hurt so badly but the story was good.

you did so good with the story but half of it was like about you to me.

it sounds to me you describe yourself in the half story.

but the poem was kinda good through i love to read everyday.

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118 Reviews

Points: 7737
Reviews: 118

Tue Mar 09, 2021 12:47 am
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Coffeeboyjay says...

thxs you got this poem about yourself that's good you might be in first place with your poem.

i love this poem wanna see a another like this.

your poem was about your life i love it i hope we see a poem like this again one day.

the part why i am so scared makes us so sad😭

EsmerayaRose says...

It wasn't about me completely it was just for everyone I guess, but I'm sorry if it made you upset I will aim for more of an upbeat poem next time to write. Again I do apologize if it made you upset.

Who knew paper and ink could be so vicious.
— Kathryn Stockett, The Help