Young Writers Society

Hey Em! I'm Myth and I'll be reviewing your poem today.

While reading the poem, I could make out that the idea behind it was how you do things without a purpose or sometimes without even without knowing what you're doing, when you're sixteen.

Some grammatical and rhythmic errors I'd like to point out are:

They say when you’re 16
Life is a stress-filled haze

They never said how confusing it is.

Hello, Em! I'm Jade and today I'm going to be reviewing your poem!

The first stanza flows well and is very enticing, so no complaints there, but the second feels repetitive. It would be better if maybe your whole people repeated "THey say when you're 16" but it goes to other parts of life which makes the first two stanzas feel weirdly alone.

The third stanza has a change of tense. "Said."
I know you mean they said because now you're the age in this poem, but say would also be correct and fit the rest of your poem better.

The fourth and fifth are really well done in my opinion, so no complaints there. I see what you're doing with the opening lines for each stanza but it's not consistent.

The last few stanzas also follow this. It flows well, though, and has a nice echo to it.

OVERALL:

I really did enjoy your poem. Keep writing and I hope I helped.

Jade

Hey, there! This is a nice poem, and I feel like it reflects a lot of the teen struggle that many people deal with, so it is highly relatable. Your stanza divisions separate each element that you're looking at into clear sections, keeping it from running on in a confusing way. You have the teacher's advice, the parent's advice, and then the narrator's own perspective each in a separate stanza. That makes it easy to follow. Good work there.

Speaking of stanzas, your formatting is great. I didn't notice any capitalization or grammar errors. It looks clean, smooth, and clear, and it's coherent to follow.

I do have to say that there doesn't seem to be a lot of emotion going on here. In other words, you're telling, not showing. Just keep that in mind for further editing. However, you do have some really nice elements. I liked the line that references, "arrows all going nowhere." This is a nicely done depiction. You're giving the reader a mental image. Try to think of how to incorporate more imagery and your poem will become way more alive.

Overall, this is a nicely done work, and you clearly put time and effort into composing it. Keep up the good work!

Hi Em16. I'm here for a short review.
First of all, it's really a beautiful poem to read. It really is quite interesting since I'm not 16 yet, but my sister is, and I would love to understand my sister better. You're honestly the best poet of the most amazing poems I've read in my life. This poem describes so many things I haven't thought of 16 years old. As reading this poem I felt like someone was warning me of my 16-year-old future.

Second of all, I'm thinking maybe you should describe more of what you felt then just, "confusing". It's only a suggestion and I don't know the best way to tell readers about being 16, so it's your free will to consider it or not.


'They never said how confusing it is.
That everything I know
Only seems to highlight
What I don’t, and can’t know.'

Thirdly, I'm feeling like you're repeating "They say when you’re 16" quite a bit much. You should replace that part with another word. I know you might be doing that on your own purpose, since the title is, They Say When You're 16. So this isn't really a hard push to change, but just a bit of advice.

Mostly, I suggest you use another word rather than keep on using, "You could" and "listen" together. Two thoughts, I have this unclear feeling about the ending, especially when you wrote "If all of now is consumed/In preparations for an unclear future?". I think "for an unclear future" needs to be "for another unclear future", since your 16 was filled with so many unexpected things "they" in your poem didn't tell you about. In the last stanza "preparations" with "s" might not really be the fit with the finale closing. May I ask you to consider "preparations" to be "preparation".

Last of all, to conclude my wonders of reading this, I'm quite curious for you left only three words at the ending, "I don’t know." Did you wrote those words purportedly or is that part written because you didn't have any more words to illustrate feelings being 16.


'You could listen to your teachers
Who tell you to study hard
To find your passion and pursue it
So you get accepted by the right college.

You could listen to your parents
Who tell you to enjoy these years
To go to school events, make new friends
Because it’ll be over far too soon.

You could try to listen to yourself
If you knew what you wanted,
If your mind wasn’t a useless muddle
Of arrows all pointing nowhere.

How can I make the most it
Of where I am now
If all of now is consumed
In preparations for an unclear future?

I don’t know.'

Overall, it really was a beautiful read. Your skill in writing poem is always so surprising, filled with a most delicate expression just what the readers are searching for.

Lovely poem!

Keep on writing!

Best wishes for your future,
With the warmest regards, Chris

Hi there Em! Tuck dropping by for a review today.

This poem caught my eye because I am also 16, so I'm very excited to see someone else's perspective on this age. I think you did a great job capturing all the uncertainty that is tied up with the age of 16. You also captured the way 16-year-olds often feel torn between all the advice that's given to them and the conflicting paths presented to them. Parents tell you to prioritize one thing, friends tell you to do another, and you have no idea who to believe or who to listen to. It's a very hard age, and I think you've done it justice in this poem, so great work on that!

One way I think you could improve is by broadening your approach slightly -- not your theme, just your approach. Your theme is near perfect -- it's specific enough to be unique, but broad enough that you have plenty of room to explore. You reiterate a couple of themes, which I think in this case isn't the best choice for you. Rather than reiterating something, which includes some repetition that seems dull, you can combine the ideas and condense them. For example:

Being 16 is like drawing a picture
Without eyes to see
What is it you’re creating,
Where it is you’re going.

Being 16 is like writing a story
Without knowing the plot
You're unaware of what drives you
And where it’s leading to.

Being 16 is like drawing a picture,
Without eyes to see
It is like writing a story,
Without knowing the plot
You can't see what you're creating,
you can't see where you're going.