Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Remember me, in days gone by, when the lights
Have begun to fade and shiver, as the darkness creeps in
Takes hold of you, clutching tightly by the back
By the collar, by the hair, as you subdue yourself
With oceans of ongoing conversation, caught up
In the confusion, in those moments, boarding a train
Or coming down off a high, I hope in that silence
You can find the space in your heart to remember me.
I know I fucked you up, know I broke down
All the light in your eyes, my curses like thunder
As the lightning lit up all the ways we were a disaster
A train wreck, the toppling mountain on the edge
Of a collapse, as the night pushed us closer together
Until the morning dawned and we saw
The decimated forest that lay all around us.
I know I was too much, too soon, all screaming
All crashing plates, all lights dangling precipitously
As the sound of my voice echoes through the house
You were just as fierce, it was like a battle
Like spears thrown, swords unleashed
Like the sky was coming down to reveal
All the demons of the other worlds come
To tear us all apart, take us into pieces.
But still, there were moments, on happy evenings
Quiet mornings, when our mouths were stilled
And there was only the feeling of your hands
Running softly through my hair, as I let you
Take hold of you, take control of me, too exhausted
To do more than softly breathe in your warmth
Perched near me, on the edge of my shoulder
On the edge of my heart, you never really entered
But you were close, so close, closer even
Than any other, before or since, all told
That now when it’s said and done, sometimes
I wish I’d been kinder to you, better to you
Let in more of those moments of quiet stillness.
Love, it was so long ago. Love, it was an eternity
It was an echo, it was endless, the space between
Then and now, the memories snapping back
Like the backlash from shooting a rifle,
The last flutter of the strings on a bow
It comes back in those sudden feelings
Shivering through all corners of the body
Love, it is nothing now, because it no longer exists.
But sometimes, in the still moments
As you lie next to your wife, staring up
At the ceiling, at the painted colors
After your children have all gone to bed
The household asleep, but yourself awake
Sometimes, remember me, think of me
I hope then, when your heart stutters
Even if only a passing thought
So fleeting you hardly notice me in it.
I hope you remember me, remember me
So that even if we have lost touch
And fallen apart, as old lovers do, even then
Let the memories, let the feeling
Let the stillness in the air, so reminiscent
Of our time together, let it continue on
So that even if we are no longer together
Our silent hearts can find each other,
Again and again and again.
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