Young Writers Society

I loved the way you have compared these feelings to something in every verse. This poem truly brings tears and it really is great work. I would see you writing more poems and expressing yourself with your own lexicon. This is great work but there is always room for improvement.

You have combined diction, rythm and have stuck to the same tear-enforcing and dark tone throughout. There was no absolute rhyme scheme but that was almost impossible to notice amidst your desperation in each word that seemed to clutch my heart with claws.

Like I said, there is always room for improvement. And here there is just a single thing that you must work on and that is reading your own poem in an analytical way, that is, you must feel your own poem and avoid even the smallest of mistakes. Skill must be combined with alertness and precision. There is clarity in your thoughts, which is a great thing to be backed by.

My favourite lines from your poem - though I really don't do favourites as I appreciate things as they are as a whole - were;

"Almost- key word.
Oil and vinegar don't mix
And neither did you and I.
Always ten steps away from the finish
But I'm sick of running
I'd rather end up
On square 1.

At least then
I'd know
Where I stand."

This was mainly because these lines were just a perfect conclusion to your monologue expressed as a poem.

A truly heartfelt piece.

Please keep writing.

Oh god I'm truly speechless. But I'll try and force some words because it would be terribly unfair to leave this poem without praising it first.

You set a tone that to me sounds enticingly dark, sad and almost desperate. It truly makes you feel the ache of a tortured love.

"Space alien
Three eyes
Two for looking at me
The other one for knowing
What I want
And keeping it from me."

this one was definitely my favorite stanza, but the poem results skillfully constructed and effortlessly flowing from the top to the bottom.

Also, your closure felt like a punch in the guts - and I mean it in the best way possible.
Can't wait to read more, you are incredibly talented.

Amazing!!

I think this is a neat poem, definitely one that really makes you think. This poem makes me think about just who the poem was about.

It gives just enough information to get a vague idea of who it is about but not enough information to make anything concrete.

I think you did an amazing job on this. Keep up the great work and keep writing from the heart.

I think this is a neat poem, definitely one that really makes you think. This poem makes me think about just who the poem was about.

It gives just enough information to get a vague idea of who it is about but not enough information to make anything concrete.

I think you did an amazing job on this. Keep up the great work and keep writing from the heart.