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E - Everyone

Chapter 3

by Draculus


After Victor’s public humiliation Annabel had never heard any of the kids talking about an escape. She herself didn’t want to think about it either. The next day after Victor was punished, he couldn’t walk because his legs hurt. Annabel watched Elijah force him to stand up and go and work as always. She knew she shouldn’t say or do anything while the watcher could hear her or stop her, but when Victor returned to their room, Annabel helped him change dirty and blood-soaked bandages. She saw despair in the boy’s blue eyes. She was used to see them bright and gleaming with joy and confidence… For her, it was amazingly stupid and wrong that a thirteen-year-old’s face was pale, his eyes scared, his hands trembling because of pain. But there was nobody to help Victor. Neither Annabel, nor anyone else in the entire mansion.

In the next few days Annabel had changed her job twice, for there always was a lack of capable hands somewhere. While working in the stables, she used to meet Mr Morr much more often. He belonged to that kind of tyrants who were ruthless with human beings, but kind and loving with their pets. He adored his beautiful horses and used to visit them every day. Once Annabel heard some noise in the livery yard. There were voices of Mr Morr and his best stableman, Gregfield – they both were watching jockeys ride a few horses Mr Morr considered his favorites. Annabel peered outside the stables’ building where she had to clean up and saw the greatest stallion that ever lived. It was entirely black with deep blue glow on its hair, high and strong, so elegant, so massive and noble in its pace.

“My royal boy!” Mr Morr declared with pride. “For all Heaven’s sake, he’s shining like a real diamond!”

Annabel noticed that, too. The horse’s fur was gleaming like cleaned jewel’s surface, carefully and properly polished. She wondered who could do such a good job, though she envied them already – she knew Mr Morr loved when his horses shined, and whoever had done that to the black stallion, they would be rewarded.

“Whose work is it, Gregfield?” asked Mr Morr, turning to the stableman.

“That boy’s name’s Billiam, if I remembered right,” said Gregfield in his rough, lazy voice.

“Find him and bring him here,” Mr Morr ordered.

“No need in searching, sir,” Gregfield nodded to where a little boy was pulling a cart with fresh grass into the yard. “Hey, Billiam! or whoever you are… ” The boy stopped and turned to the sound of his name. Annabel couldn’t help herself and rose her eyebrow skeptically. Billiam was eight or nine, but how did he manage to polish such a big horse? “Come here, boy!”

Billiam left the cart and made a few uncertain steps. “Come, come,” Mr Morr encouraged him by waving his hand and smiling. The boy was scared by the unexpected order, for it could bring him some awful news, as well as something good.

“I like when children do their job properly,” said Mr Morr. “Who told you to take care of Diamond’s hair, boy?”

Billiam shied a bit and looked down at his toes.

“No one,” he answered, but in a second glimpsed at Gregfield and added, “sir.”

“It was your will?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good, very good, Billiam. Elijah!” Mr Morr turned his face to where Elijah was walking among a few children and giving them orders. The watcher ran to his master across the yard. “I want you to give this fellow a double dinner today and a good blanket,” he nodded at Billiam who was shining like sun, his face lightened with happiness and alacrity. Annabel thought he’d do everything Mr Morr would tell him right away.

“I’ll do it, sir, be sure,” said Elijah, as cold and confident as always. It seemed like he never minded the reason why his master was so kind to a random kid.

“Ah, by the way,” said Mr Morr when dismissed Elijah and Billiam, “have you sent that nice fellow to the marketplace as I told you, Gregfield?”

Annabel turned away to go finish her task and threw a glance at Mr Morr over her shoulder. She was still listening.

“Yes, I did, sir,” Gregfield replied, and added hastily, “but I strongly doubt he’s clever enough to choose a good saddle for a horse.”

“And I don’t doubt it. He’s a very good worker, he’s worth a chance to try. We should reward those who work hard, you know that,” Mr Morr started to leave, but stopped for a second and said quietly, so Annabel barely could hear him, and shivered when she recognized his words. “And by the way, Gregfield, shut up and never tell me your super-valuable opinion unless I ask you.”

Gregfield was taken back. He stood there for half a minute, then hurried after his master, and they both disappeared in the house.

Now that was clear for Annabel. The only thing you had to do in this house is to work hard and be silent. If you were a hard worker, you could get a chance to leave the mansion, at least because Mr Morr would want you to do some extra job. To leave! You can run if you catch a moment. Everything spinned around Annabel, she almost fell down, for her mind got overwhelmed all of a sudden. She couldn’t believe what she’d comprehended. Well, get yourself together now. You’ll do it, because you’re smart. Get over that you’ll have to spend a lot of time on it, and begin.

Begin this very second.


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Tue Apr 28, 2020 7:51 pm
Hkumar wrote a review...



Hi Draculus!

The aftermath of trying to runaway by Victor was not at all pleasant. He got himself into a lot of trouble and it is evident that these people here don't know mercy even if the person is just a thirteen year old kid. I don't remember you mentioning her age but I guess she is also around 13 cause in the last chapter you mentioned she wasn't much older than Victor.

There were voices of Mr Morr and his best stableman, Gregfield – they both were watching jockeys ride a few horses that Mr Morr considered his favorites. Annabel peered outside the stables’ building where she had to clean up and saw the greatest stallion that ever lived.

No need to write stable's building cause it's kind of understood. Just write stable.

One crucial lesson that Annabel learnt in this chapter that if she wants to live here peacefully she must impress Mr. Morr. Not just she will earn some rewards but she might get a chance to go out of this place. I must say she is pretty good observer but let's see if she is good with her actions or not. She has not done anything noticeable till now. But as I have said earlier she appears to be a smart character. Hopefully soon she will figure her way out of here.

Good work with the chapter, you have still kept my complete interest in your story.
Keep writing :)




Draculus says...


Thank you! I'm glad to know you're still interested in my book) Hope you'd enjoy the next chapters.



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Sun Apr 26, 2020 10:03 pm
mckaylaam wrote a review...



Hi Draculus, I noticed that this is one of the older works in the Green Room as of right now, so I figured I'd give this chapter a read and let you know what I thought! I haven't read the other chapters, unfortunately, but I'll try my best to give as much of a solid review as I can :)

I do have some recommendations for a slight change in word choice, but these definitely are more of a personal preference so it's not important that you actually make these changes if you don't want to.

For her, that was amazingly stupid...

I'd change this to say to "For her, it was amazingly stupid..."

...and his best stableman, Gregfield, – they both were watching jockeys riding a few horses Mr. Morr considered his favorites

I'd remove the second comma (the one right after Gregfield) as it seems a bit awkward to have a dash right after a comma. Also, I'd probably change "riding" to "ride" and possibly add the word "that" right after "horses".

“Who did tell you to take care of Diamond’s hair, boy?”

To me, I think that changing "Who did tell you" to "Who told you" or "Who asked you" might make the conversation flow a little bit smoother.

Again, these are just small changes that aren't super important to make, just personal preference.

...he nodded at Billiam who was shining like sun, his face lightened with happiness and alacrity

I really liked this part, as it's always nice to be praised when you're young and just feel all that happiness, like nothing could go wrong.

The ending was very interesting, and I'm definitely interested in reading the previous chapters so that I can get a better sense of what's going on and so I'll be able to read future chapters as well. Great work! :)




Draculus says...


Thank you very much for the review! I'll try not to forget to fix all those awkward word choices of mine, I promise) The comma you mentioned is nothing but my habit of using other language's grammar in English writing, which I also try to best.



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Thu Apr 02, 2020 1:12 am
Necromancer14 wrote a review...



All right! I haven't read the previous chapters, but I liked this one for sure!

Here's my review:

This could be interesting. The genre is fantasy, but the setting is very normal and down to Earth. I enjoyed reading this a lot, even though I didn't know quite what was going on because I hadn't read the previous chapters.

She saw despair in the boy’s blue eyes. She was used to see them bright and gleaming with joy and confidence…


Wowsers. This part was very touching, and I definitely feel sorry for the boy.

In a few next days Annabel had changed her job twice,


I think it would be a lot smoother if you wrote "In the next few days..." because the way you wrote it is rather awkward sounding.

Mr. Morr much more often. He belonged to that kind of tyrants who are ruthless with human beings, but kind and loving with their pets.


Ah. One of those people. They show up in literature a lot, and they definitely aren't very likable.

“have you send that nice fellow to the marketplace as I told you Gregfield?”


Technically, this is grammatically incorrect. "send" should be "sent" and the second "you" should be followed by a comma, like this: "have you sent that nice fellow to the marketplace as I told you, Gregfield?"

Begin this very second.


Loved the ending!

Well, that's my review! I hope it was helpful.




Draculus says...


Thank you very much for your review! I'm so glad that you liked it! I'll fix the mistakes, now as you told me about them, I see them too, it's just that me is a blind dwarf)




The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.