Author's Note: I have an obsession with obscurity, especially in my poetry, so despite all the people telling me to make it more straightforward I don't want to. I'll say as much that it is about Vietnam, and if having to say that for my readers to get my literal point makes me a bad author then so be it. I feel ((of course I do, its my poem for Pete's sake =p)) that it carries a different meaning without that knowledge, but I decided to tell people from the start so... My big concern is a way to make the first stanza as powerful as the second, but I want to have the correlation between the first and last lines still there somehow. Thanks for reading
Burning Sensations
“Hate never knows ‘nothing” he would always say.
Found, staring, another innocent day.
Escape, deep, in the forest of denial,
in an endless sprial of mental anguish.
Thicket, covers blossoming beauty,
Never see the true senses they appease.
Liquid balls the death in souls, plastic life,
rubber constrictions, in memoriam.
Los Matadores, drenche’d in purple--
Bridged the gums, crowned the nails, with which they bite.
enthralled demoralization, affect--
Caskets carry the culture of today.
Burning notes radiate thick of disease,
poisoned words, strike with pain of one hundred,
roots entangle the greatest of battlers,
And the hair of young men grows thin.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
