Young Writers Society

First we see a featured piece called Okay, and then I am not okay! Okay seems to be a popular word, understandably.
I definitely understand where this poem is coming from, and I think most people do, too. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do to change the day and you've just got to live it out and wait for the next to be better, even if you don't believe it will be.
In a more critical light, I almost felt like this poem was going in circles. I got the feeling that you wrote this when you were in a bad mood, as you said below in a response to a review. The reason I felt like this was going in circles is because there was no particular end to it, or reason for your not-okayness. I feel like you were just in one of those frustrated moods when you wrote this, where you yourself are going in circles and simply can't be okay. I get that, and that's the feeling I got from this poem. However, if you wanted to add more emotion to this poem to highlight reasons why you feel this way, that would be great too .
The end, especially, felt a little weird to me. You spent the entire poem elaborating on how you are not okay, but at the end you simply come to terms to it and say, in a way, that you are okay. Or at least that you are okay with the fact that you are not okay, which confused me a little bit.
Anyway, I do understand how it feels to feel this way (as I have repeatedly stress continuously ;D), so I guess I can't really get my super critical eye on for this particular poem. My main piece of advice is to elaborate on this a bit more on that frustrating feeling of nothing being okay, no matter what, as you did in these stanzas:

No pills
no therapists
nothing can change that

And perhaps
that's for the best

I am not okay
and that is okay
with me

Hello, here is a review for you.

I am not sure if this is the way you want your poem to be, but I suggest you have commas, bad periods.
I have to say that I really admire the way that you have the rhyming really nice. All these words that you chose really fit well together. But lets start at the first line.
I say
Now, this is a great beginning, it makes the reader want to read on. Great job with that. But for some reason, I don't think you really need to say:
I say
I think it really makes the whole poem lose balance. I am just saying to me, but if you like it the way you have it, I wont stop you, go for it. .
Because you can just say:
I'm fine
I'm ok
That seems fine the way it is. Again, if you like, good.
Now here:
Everyone else
goes on
living their lives
being normal
feeling fine

Here I think you should say:
Everyone else goes on,
Living their lives
Being normal
Feeling fine

Also, I am not sure if its a typo, but shouldn't it be life's?
Or maybe I am wrong. Sorry if I am wrong.

This is an amazing poem. Its wonderful, but when I read it, I thought you wouldn't want anyone's reviews because of what you said in the poem.
I love this poem. But that is really strange for me to like this kind of poem.
I usually don't really like poems that rhyme for some reason, but this one really hit the spot.
I like this one a lot, even though I usually don't like these kinds of poems.
Great job, wonderful work.
Keep it up.
Most of this whole poem really is perfect. Just this one paragraph:

No pills
no therapists
nothing can change that

I read it, over and over again. For some reason, this is a wonderful paragraph, although it just kind of sticks out. It dose not fit in this poem. This poem is so good therefore I can not give you a different suggestion. All I can say is fix that, then... BOOM,WOW!

This is already the best of the best. Keep going, that's almost all I can say.
Farewell, and I hope you are okay soon.

Curiosity227.

okay.

Hello, ClippedWings!

I read in your description that you are not really looking for reviews. This confused me, as you can actually post your works without any points in the forums, under a thread, so you can still let people see your work, but you are not wasting your hard-earned points putting up a poem you don't really want reviews on! You might think about starting a thread in the Creativity Corner section of the forums.

Now that that's out of the way, I can't really say anything about this poem. Because you're not looking for reviews, I'll respect that and I won't say too many nitpicky things.

On the content. You realize that this poem is angsty, and I agree. I have been there, and I think most of us who have lived past the dreaded 14 year mark have experienced this.

There have been many poems written about this subject, and this one doesn't really bring anything new to the table. If you're thinking about revising this at some point into something more artistic and less vent-y, I suggest you bring us into this world.

Use imagery and references to give us some sense of setting or even character. As it is, it's rather generic. I can imagine anyone saying these things. Make it individualized. The more individualized you make it, the more the reader will be able to connect with the reader emotionally.

This wasn't really too much of a review, but since you're not really looking for them, it is what it is. I hope you find this useful in some way! Happy YWSing!

Hey there, Wings!

First of all, this is a nice poem. I liked the different point of view on the subject. Even though I generally don't like these kind of poems, you took that topic and showed the reader something different about it.

There are no grammar or spelling mistakes that I can see. The only thing I would say in the way of critique is capitalize the first letter of every line.

Overall, this poems deserves 9 1/2 stars!

Thank you for your poem.