Young Writers Society

This is absolutely beautiful. The title is perfect, and the whole poem is enchanting. I love the rhymes that you've scattered throughout the poem- not in stanzas or with a sense of tidiness, but wild like the trees you describe. This is an incredible poem, especially from a not-poet.

"In the mournful forest that nobody knows lives a sorrowful man that nobody sees" UGH these lines. I love the way you initially weave the man into the trees by describing him as in them, yes, but by establishing their shared sense of mystery. I want to know more oh my lord. I want to know more about the man and the trees.

"His boots of the earth and bow of the wind, his heart in the oak and his body therein" this line has such a good rhythm. It's really, really beautiful. I don't even have anything to say about this I just want to read it every day for the rest of my life.

"But deeds that are done are paid for in kind, and the poor old ranger kept those in mind who had guarded his grave for years." This is genuinely tragic??? the trees DIED. AH you've created such an incredible story with so few words. You can feel the tragedy and sorrow this man feels, the gratefulness to the trees and their sacrifice.

After that line, in the next few paragraphs, the transition from calm and sorrowful to angry and vengeful is very smooth but sudden, like the death of the trees. I want to see the men face their due. I want to watch this man and help him avenge his trees!

"By bow of wind and arrow of thorn" The reflection to earlier in the poem really shows the shifted mood, where before he had boots and a heart full of tree and now he just wants vengeance. This is tragic. I'm in love with it. Bless you for writing this. I have zero bad things to say about this poem.

Wow, I really like this poem a lot. It is so complex and interesting. It tells a story that is quite interesting to read. It kind of reminds me of leshy in Norse mythology or the ever-present woodsman. Anyway, this is very enjoyable to read. I am not going to comment on grammar, I think the people below me have already done that, but I love this poem, and for a person who is not a poet, this is crazy good.

My first impression: WOW. This poem is amazing, and even though your disclaimer says you don't poet, you're actually extremely good at it XD Okay, on to some specifics:

Deep in a forest that nobody knows, under roots of trees that lonesome grow on the hilltop, overlooking a valley of snow, lies a dark mound all covered in stone.

Hi, I'm just here to give you a short review...

"Deep in a forest that nobody knows, under roots of trees that lonesome grow on the hilltop"
Instead of that were put "Under the roots of trees that lonesome"


Also "In the trees no humans can touch will fight tooth and claw against nail"
You could put "against the nail"
You have some conventions here and there but that's just me nitpicking.



You do have some unclear sentences that were a little confusing to me. But other than that it was really interesting and I loved that you describe each line for example

"Forgotten was he to all but the trees who guarded his body for years, till they were too old and too weak and too frail to save themselves from the saw and the nail. But deeds that are done are paid for in kind, and the poor old ranger kept those in mind who had guarded his grave for years."


But I love how you describe the setting around your characters. I loved how you were so specific with everything.How everything just fell in place because you were very specific when it came to everything because I can see in my head what happened and how it looked.