This is Kaos here for a review!
Rather short chapter, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but let's jump fright into it. I enjoy seeing the name Novah as it's something unique and I don't think I've seen it used before, it is quite the odd name. I wanted to note that the starting sentence with "A couple days past by" should have "passed" instead of "past". We see that you skip over the first part with a summary and I honestly wouldn't mind seeing it in the form of a scene so that you can flesh out more of the characters, but it's really your choice on that.
I would have liked to see more than just dialogue in the first half of the chapter. Descriptions of the atmosphere is something that I think would help flesh it out as well as you making your characters more than just talking heads, which brings me to my next point. Body language is something that's crucial when it comes to communication and at the same time something that's constantly undermined.
I felt that in this chapter and it tends to give a lot of more personality and more of a realistic feel to all of your characters if you do this. I liked how calm the chapter was but at the same time there wasn't really a whole lot going on with this? The pacing is something that I had trouble with because it feels fragmented going in and out and with the time skip that you have near the end of the chapter and I think it could be more balanced in this way. I enjoyed the characters that you had so props to you on that and I realize this is old Atana so it may not be as edited.
I hope I helped and have a great day!
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
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