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When I Was Anna - 16

by Carlito


Hello! If you're just tuning in or need a refresher, it's marching band season and Summer (drumline) has a crush on Micah (drum major), but she's too anxious to talk to him or tell her friends about it. Summer learned about an app called Chat With Me (you can only talk to people at your school and the conversations can't be tracked). They've been talking (except Summer is pretending to be someone named Anna) and they've started to grow closer. Summer is becoming more worried about their growing connection and how she's going to come clean. She's agreed to meet up with Micah after a marching band competition and she doesn't know how she's going to salvage the relationship after that point.

This is draft 2, and I'm more interested in big picture comments than sentence level/grammar comments. Thanks for reading! <3

___________________________

It’s going to be this weekend after the next marching band competition. I can’t do this anymore. I have to tell him the truth. Even though it makes me want to throw up just thinking about it.

I run through everything May told me to do in my head. I tried hinting that things may not be as they seem. Now all I have to do is figure out exactly what I’m going to say to him when we do meet and then tell him this weekend.

I try, and fail yet again, to concentrate on my weekly scramble to finish all of my homework because my brain won’t stop spinning through the possible things to say when Micah sees it’s me.

I need May. I haven’t had time to talk to her since our last brainstorming session with the start of the competition season and my never-ending stream of what my first words to Micah will be.

It’s a Tuesday, not one of the good nights to talk to May according to the calendar she gave me, but I’m hopeful that when she sees my name light up her phone, she’ll have the intrinsic sister awareness that I need her and why.

Once I check that the coast is clear outside my door and no nosy parents or Danielle will be able to overhear my conversation, I dive onto my bed and give her a call.

She answers on the final ring.

“Summer! What’s up!” It’s the loud voice again. My stomach turns over. I don’t need this May right now.

“Hey,” I say softly. “Is now a good time?”

“Of course! Like I’ve told you before, I always have time for my baby sister!”

Do I really want to do this right now? This is not how I imagined this conversation going.

“What’s going on?” She says again, too loud.

“I just wanted to talk about…the Micah plan, but if it’s not a good time I can call tomorrow.” I dig my nail into the skin around my thumb. I really don’t want to have to wait, but I might not have a choice. There’s no one else I can get advice from about this and she’s in no state to give me any sound advice.

“The Micah plan! Oh my gosh! Yes! Did you do it! Did you tell him what’s up?”

“Not yet.”

“Why not? Just do it Sum! Rip the bandage off! Tell him the truth before you chicken out.” She slurs the last little bit.

My stomach turns again. May unfiltered, unafraid of hurting my feelings. She knows I’m going to chicken out. She thinks I’m dumb for doing this in the first place. I am dumb, but she’s not supposed to make me feel that way.

“Just go up to him after a rehearsal or something and say, hey it’s me Anna. Sorry. Easy!”

That’s the worst piece of advice she’s ever given me.

“May, remember? We had a whole plan for me to do it after a marching band competition?”

“Just talk to him!” She slurs again. “Stop making it into a whole thing.”

Tears well up in the back of my eyes. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to have this conversation with her right now. This obviously isn’t going to get anywhere. The best I an hope for is that I’ll time to talk to her before this weekend so she can give me a little bit of actual moral support before I show up for my execution.

“You know this means a lot to me.”

“It’s not that complicated! You like him, he probably likes you. Just explain the situation and he’ll be like whatever, same girl different name, and then he’ll ask you out!”

I bury my face in my hands. “I don’t think it’ll be that simple.”

“Just do it!” She screeches.

“I think we should talk later,” I say.

“Why?” She yells. “Just telling it like it is!”

“You’ve been drinking. This isn’t a productive conversation.”

“Oh whatever! You just don’t want me to tell you the truth! You know one of these days you’re going to have to put on your big girl pants, stop using me as a crutch, and just make a freaking move!”

I hang up on her.

As soon as my phone screen turns black, I regret it, but I still don’t pick up my phone and call her back. Rationally I know that she was being so insensitive because she’s been drinking, but her words still stung. Drunk words are sober thoughts. Is that really what she thinks of me?

The tears come then. I put my phone on silent and then put it inside my desk drawer so I won’t hear if she tries to call me back, which I know she probably won’t. I can’t talk to her right now. I guess I have no choice to put on my big girl pants, as she called it, and figure out this Micah situation on my own.

#

Welcome to Chat With Me!

Wednesday, 04:27PM - You’re chatting with: MICAH TURNER

Anna (04:27PM): Hey how was your day?

Micah (04:31PM): Normal. What about you?

Anna (04:32PM): Yeah pretty normal.

Anna (04:32PM): Actually I’ve been distracted because I’ve been thinking about something.

Micah (04:33PM): Your cure for autoimmune diseases?

Anna (04:35PM): Haha I wish. I was actually thinking about how we should meet.

Micah (04:35PM): Oh! And?

Anna (04:38PM): How does this weekend sound?

Micah (04:39PM): !!

Micah (04:39PM): This weekend sounds perfect. I have another competition on Saturday. We could meet up there or I guess we could do a casual dinner or something after?

Anna (04:41PM): The competition is fine. Send me the info about where and when and I’ll be there.

Micah (04:42PM): Sweet, will do. Can I ask what sparked the change of heart? I know we said after a competition…

Anna (04:46PM): I really like you, and I want to be completely honest about who I am and stuff, which is hard to do over Chat With Me.

Micah (04:48PM): ??

Micah (04:48PM): Are you saying you haven’t been completely honest with me?

Anna (04:51PM): Like I said before, I promise I really am a girl and I really am in your grade and I really do go to your school.

Micah (04:52PM): But you haven’t been completely honest.

Anna (04:55PM): I’ve been as honest as I can be online. Like we’ve said before, things are different when they’re in person. I want to be able to be my full self with you and I can’t do that until we meet in person.

Micah (04:56PM): Weird wording…

Anna (04:57PM): I don’t know what else to say

Micah (04:59PM): I mean, I definitely want to meet you. At the very least to put a face with the name and just figure this whole thing out. But I’m confused

Anna (04:50PM): I’m sorry.

Micah (04:52PM): I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and stuff. I don’t know what to think anymore. Like I’m still hopeful that maybe this could carry into the real world, but you’re being so cryptic and different which makes me think that something weird is going on.

Anna (04:55PM): I’ve enjoyed getting to know you too, which is why it’s time to see if we can take this into the real world. I can’t do the online only thing anymore.

Micah (04:57PM): And we’re really going to do this on Saturday? You’re not going to back out last minute.

Anna (04:58PM): I promise I’ll be there.


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Fri Sep 06, 2019 6:07 am
EternalRain wrote a review...



Hello!!!

Oh GOSH how exciting! Summer's doing it. AHhhhh.

I think it was smart on Summer's part to give a little foreshadowing to Micah about who she is - perhaps it'll lessen the blow a little? I am anxiously awaiting the day they finally meet. I'm so curious to know how Micah is going to react.

My favorite part of this chapter was the phone call with May. I liked May's bluntness, and her drunk words I think really captured the feeling of how frustrated I am with Summer for putting it off so long (but also, like... same). Summer's sensitivity to May's words confused me a little, though. I've realized most of Summer's and May's relationship has been pretty good - but sisters naturally fight (usually??). Based on Summer's reaction, she seemed like May's words were something her sister would never do. But sisters know how to push each other's buttons (speaking from experience). Perhaps May is just super nice, though. :p The dream sister!

I did like how May targeted one of Summer's biggest flaws as a character - her inability to make a move, her "chicken"ness, her anxiety. As a reader, May's harsh words really were impactful. And I suppose if May was always nice, a blunt attack like this could be an even harsher blow.

Besides the realistic sister thing, I don't think I have much else to comment on. I loved the action in this chapter. And I'm so ready for this upcoming band competition. Brinnng it!

Peace:)

~ EternalRain




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Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:05 pm
Liberty wrote a review...



Hello once again, Carlito!

Hope you're well. I'm back to give you another review! Let's get started, now shall we? Mhm.

“Just go up to him after a rehearsal or something and say, hey it’s me Anna. Sorry. Easy!”


*blinks* Totally didn't curse when she said that.

The best I an hope for is that I’ll time to talk to her before this weekend so she can give me a little bit of actual moral support before I show up for my execution.


"The best I an hope" or "The best I can hope"? I'm pretty sure it's the later.

“Oh whatever! You just don’t want me to tell you the truth! You know one of these days you’re going to have to put on your big girl pants, stop using me as a crutch, and just make a freaking move!”


*bites inside of cheek* Oh dang. That hurt. Ouchie. Mummy, I got a booboo on my heart because of Meanie May.

I hang up on her.


I'm so so so so sorry, Summer! <3 You go girl! I know you can do it!

Drunk words are sober thoughts. Is that really what she thinks of me?


Y-you... Have a point. They are sober. *gulps*

Micah (04:56PM): Weird wording…


Hell yeah. *nudges Micah* Watch out, bro.

Anna (04:58PM): I promise I’ll be there.


*squeals* YOU GO GIRL!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!

Alright. So great chapter here!! ...But I'm sad you're gunna leave us here on a cliffhanger here. But I guess we just gotta wait. I'm hyped to see what Micah thinks of Summer when she shows herself. I dunno why, but I have a feeling he might be okay with it and all chill. Because like, he suspected that Summer might be a weird dad! But she's not.

This is so amazing and I can absolutely not wait to see what happens next! :D Hope this review helped, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty




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Thu Sep 05, 2019 5:47 pm
Elinor wrote a review...



OH SHNAP!

I loved this entire chapter, from the phone call with May to the chat with Micah. I love how everyone's losing patience with Summer. My sense is that there's more to the story because, even though it seems to be going to a head, it doesn't feel like it's close to the end. Unless this is a misdirect, in which case I'm all in.

“Oh whatever! You just don’t want me to tell you the truth! You know one of these days you’re going to have to put on your big girl pants, stop using me as a crutch, and just make a freaking move!”

I hang up on her.


This made me laugh out loud. And Micah, I loved how he responded with multiple question marks, as it very much felt like something a teenage boy would do. But after that, I'm wondering if he'd distance himself even more and only give short, curt responses. But that's just me wondering. He's an interesting character because while I don't know if I get a sense of him as a person fully, it works because we're seeing him how Summer sees him. And yet, as a reader I'd love to get a sense that there's more to him than that. But maybe that's unraveling soon.

Can't wait for the next chapter! What a cliffhanger!

Ellie




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Thu Sep 05, 2019 3:29 pm
mthanmark263 wrote a review...



Hey there Carlito, wow this is an interesting story because it is different and exciting. I can't wait to read the beginning of the story because I really like the plot the setting and characters. May I just point out this little mistake from view

"The best I an hope for is that I’ll time to talk to her before this weekend so she can give me a little bit of actual moral support before I show up for my execution."


My View

"The best I can hope for is that I'll have time to talk to her before this week so she can give me a little bit of actual moral support before I show up for my execution."

Beside that the story is really good and I wish it was a movie because it would have made a really good movie.

you really talented





Patience is the strength of the weak, impatience is the weakness of the strong.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher