Helloooooo! I'm here to rescue your work from the Green Room!
As I haven't read the rest of this story, I won't comment on plot too much, but I'll address some smaller things that might be changed within that I noticed.
“Winslow,” Reggie slurred as Winslow sat him on the edge of the bathtub and started undoing the spy’s clothing. “Where are we?”
I feel like this is a little awkwardly worded. Perhaps try wording it like this:
"Winslow," Reggie slurred. Winslow sat the spy on the edge of the bathtub, beginning to undress him. "Where are we?"
“We’re in my bathroom and I’m taking off your blood covered clothes.”
This is nitpicky, but you need a comma after bathroom, and I feel like "bloody" would work better than "blood covered" here.
I'm confused about this line. Are you talking about laundry rules, or referring to something from earlier in the story? If it's laundry rules, I feel like thinking about specific things would serve this part better. Perhaps Winslow could think, "cold or hot water to get stains out?" or "should I rub this material or just soak it?" You could mention the mom and the sister, but I feel like it needs a little more clarity and detail.While leaning over the sink he tried to think of the rules his mother had taught to his sister.
It wasn’t a question.
It wasn’t a poking inquiry made after reading Winslow’s notes.
It was simply Reggie having the same suspicious feelers as Winslow did.
The way you format this part makes it seem like a dramatic lead up to something, but there's no payout right away. I recommend just putting this all into one paragraph. Furthermore, the last sentence here seems a little awkward. Perhaps you could say:
"It was Reggie's suspicious feelers, the same as Winslow's."
"Don’t you American men usually go around fucking every sister in a string in a farmer’s family?” He paused his rhetorical question, the cocky grin crossing his face but quickly slipping away when he fell into the tub.
The transition into the whole sexual encounters line of thought seems a little abrupt. It seems like a strange example for Reggie to come up with? I obviously don't know the characters very well, but it would seem like a jarring transition coming from any character who isn't actually psychic. Unless Reggie is psychic? I don't know what kind of book this is.
Anyway, I feel like you need to make a bigger deal out of Reggie falling into the tub. Perhaps a new paragraph, even. I like this beat. It's a bit of slapstick, but it's not emphasized enough because it's buried in the middle of a paragraph. Maybe you could say something like,
\A cocky grin crossed his face, but it was wiped away as he slipped into the tub backwards with a resonant bang. He groaned and rubbed his head as he pulled himself upright. "I know you all do," he continued, glaring at Winslow.
“Do you want me to take your underpants off or do you have enough strength to do it yourself.
You're missing some end punctuation here! Just thought I'd let you know!
Run on alert! Try breaking it up like this:In cases like these, it was always about spinning the facts to be to his advantage and maintaining his figure as being helpful.
In cases like these, it was always about spinning the facts to his advantage. Maintaining his aura of helpfulness couldn't hurt, either.
Overall, I like this because even though I haven't read the rest of the story, I can figure out what's going on. You pull in details that illustrate the characters very well. I wish you luck with the rest of this story! Happy review day!
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