z

Young Writers Society


18+

How Do You Plead: 12.2

by Brigadier


Warning: This work has been rated 18+.

“Winslow,” Reggie slurred as Winslow sat him on the edge of the bathtub and started undoing the spy’s clothing. “Where are we?”

“We’re in my bathroom and I’m taking off your blood covered clothes.”

Winslow worked on the twisted up silk tie, sliding his fingers in between the cloth and Reggie’s reddened neck. He carefully wrapped it around his hand and then stood up from his kneeling position to soak it in the sink. The sleep deprived detective probably couldn’t remember what to do with such fancy neck wear on a normal day and he certainly didn’t know how to deal with it now. While leaning over the sink he tried to think of the rules his mother had taught to his sister.

“Be careful with that tie, Winslow.”

“Hmm?”

Winslow gave his simple non-committal sigh as he carefully rubbed out the blood spot. Or maybe rubbed out wasn’t the best way to describe the current action.

“Because it costs more than you make in a single week.”

“How do you know what I make, Reggie?”

He added a little bit of detergent to the delicate tie. Most likely this would be the only garment of Reggie’s clothing that the blood stains would come out of seeing as how it was dark enough colors. There was no way that the starched white shirt was surviving this adventure nor the neatly styled gray pants. Winslow knew that Reggie had some miracle tailors and laundrymen back home but no one could fix an expensive Italian suit soaked in a pool of blood equivalent to the amount in a person.

A shudder ran down his spine as he thought about the way that Sean had been bled on the bathroom floor. Every detail that came rushing back to Winslow showed him more and more the brutal and manipulative ways of this killer.

“You think it’s Mrs. Johnson.”

It wasn’t a question.

It wasn’t a poking inquiry made after reading Winslow’s notes.

It was simply Reggie having the same suspicious feelers as Winslow did.

“How did you know that was my theory?” Winslow asked, turning around from the sink basin with his rolled up sleeves and soap bubble covered hands. “Did you go snooping through my notebook?”

“Yes, I did, but it was quite obvious from your interactions with her.”

Winslow tried to remember if Reggie was there to witness any of the interactions that he had with Queenie but then remembered that Reggie knew about all sorts of things that he shouldn’t know about. The man probably knew about how many sexual encounters that Winslow had experienced in the past year.

As if reading the very thoughts on his mind, Reggie then stated, “And yes I do know how many experiences you have had in the past year but that’s just because I’m one of your oldest friends.”

“I still don’t know if you’re my friend, Reggie.”

“Don’t you American men usually go around fucking every sister in a string in a farmer’s family?” He paused his rhetorical question, the cocky grin crossing his face but quickly slipping away when he fell into the tub. Winslow gave him a moment to recover amid a series of grunts and groans before the spy continued, “I know you all do. So really you did fuck my sister and all of her siblings including me. And you would probably fuck me again. Probably right now if I wasn’t so out of it and a babbling mess.”

Winslow walked back over to the tub, leaning into it to undo the rest of Reggie’s clothing as he foolishly explained, “Yes, I probably would fuck you right now if James was up for it.”

“Just like Paris?”

“Just like Paris.”

The detective had made his way down to pulling off Reggie’s undergarments. Up until this point, he badn’t given a second thought to undressing the man - he was just being helpful. But once they started talking about Paris he feared that it was about to become something more and that he would be unable to stop Reggie’s advances.

There was no way that he was having sex with someone who was barely conscious. He never did that. Well, he thought, I have done that before but it had been a pre-arranged scenario. Something I’ll have to repeat with James if he’s even a little bit into leather.

His thoughts during this time were often getting off pace and Winslow had to rip the image of his incapicated partner out of his head. For now, he had to focus on his internal debate of how to approach his scantily clad friend. The most courage he could work up was to ask, “Do you want me to take your underpants off or do you have enough strength to do it yourself.

In cases like these, it was always about spinning the facts to be to his advantage and maintaining his figure as being helpful.

“I think I can manage to take them off from here but thank you for being so helpful.”

“Do you need any help getting the blood out of your hair?”

Winslow was secretly hoping that Reggie would say no. That way the detective could get out of there before his internal dilemmas pulled him completely apart. But there was another side of him that wanted to jump into that bathtub right then and there and repeat the events of Paris.

The events in paris was something that he and Reggie never actually talked about. It had been one wild week of surveillance in Paris on the Nazi headquarters that had turned into a week long orgy with intermittent watching of the Nazis across the street. It was there that Winslow had some of his wildest sexual experiences though they were far from his first time enjoying “kinks”. Ever since he was young, with those first kisses, he had enjoyed darker things than other homosexuals who were collectively referred to as sexual deviants.

Every time Reggie repeated his phrase about Paris, Winslow just couldn’t stop thinking about those wild times and the wonderfully ornate headboard that held the submissive they had gagged and suspended. And that submissive had been Reggie.


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Sun Aug 30, 2020 10:13 pm
Morrigan wrote a review...



Helloooooo! I'm here to rescue your work from the Green Room!

As I haven't read the rest of this story, I won't comment on plot too much, but I'll address some smaller things that might be changed within that I noticed.

“Winslow,” Reggie slurred as Winslow sat him on the edge of the bathtub and started undoing the spy’s clothing. “Where are we?”

I feel like this is a little awkwardly worded. Perhaps try wording it like this:
"Winslow," Reggie slurred. Winslow sat the spy on the edge of the bathtub, beginning to undress him. "Where are we?"

“We’re in my bathroom and I’m taking off your blood covered clothes.”

This is nitpicky, but you need a comma after bathroom, and I feel like "bloody" would work better than "blood covered" here.

While leaning over the sink he tried to think of the rules his mother had taught to his sister.
I'm confused about this line. Are you talking about laundry rules, or referring to something from earlier in the story? If it's laundry rules, I feel like thinking about specific things would serve this part better. Perhaps Winslow could think, "cold or hot water to get stains out?" or "should I rub this material or just soak it?" You could mention the mom and the sister, but I feel like it needs a little more clarity and detail.

It wasn’t a question.

It wasn’t a poking inquiry made after reading Winslow’s notes.

It was simply Reggie having the same suspicious feelers as Winslow did.


The way you format this part makes it seem like a dramatic lead up to something, but there's no payout right away. I recommend just putting this all into one paragraph. Furthermore, the last sentence here seems a little awkward. Perhaps you could say:
"It was Reggie's suspicious feelers, the same as Winslow's."

"Don’t you American men usually go around fucking every sister in a string in a farmer’s family?” He paused his rhetorical question, the cocky grin crossing his face but quickly slipping away when he fell into the tub.

The transition into the whole sexual encounters line of thought seems a little abrupt. It seems like a strange example for Reggie to come up with? I obviously don't know the characters very well, but it would seem like a jarring transition coming from any character who isn't actually psychic. Unless Reggie is psychic? I don't know what kind of book this is.
Anyway, I feel like you need to make a bigger deal out of Reggie falling into the tub. Perhaps a new paragraph, even. I like this beat. It's a bit of slapstick, but it's not emphasized enough because it's buried in the middle of a paragraph. Maybe you could say something like,
A cocky grin crossed his face, but it was wiped away as he slipped into the tub backwards with a resonant bang. He groaned and rubbed his head as he pulled himself upright. "I know you all do," he continued, glaring at Winslow.
\

“Do you want me to take your underpants off or do you have enough strength to do it yourself.

You're missing some end punctuation here! Just thought I'd let you know!

In cases like these, it was always about spinning the facts to be to his advantage and maintaining his figure as being helpful.
Run on alert! Try breaking it up like this:
In cases like these, it was always about spinning the facts to his advantage. Maintaining his aura of helpfulness couldn't hurt, either.


Overall, I like this because even though I haven't read the rest of the story, I can figure out what's going on. You pull in details that illustrate the characters very well. I wish you luck with the rest of this story! Happy review day!




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Tue Aug 04, 2020 5:38 am
keystrings wrote a review...



Hello, again! I read the last section last night, and so I figured I would stop by to talk about this one as well.

I have mentioned this before, but I really like Winslow's view on a few different things - he's got an ex-lover basically passed out from I imagine alcohol/possible shock from being drenched in the blood of a dead person, and he's like, "ah, yes, what is the best way to clean something absolutely covered with blood?"

I think the casualness of Winslow going over part of the crime scene and the random inserts of lucid comments by Reggie, as in Wilson suspecting Mrs. Johnson, which (oooooh) does make sense as a suspect with her positioning in the story, and the fact that James is still passed out on the couch on the walk in, it just kind of fascinates me.

Also, Winslow, you sure get it on with quite a few people, hmm? Kudos on you bud, but I imagine that might make things a bit awkward when you run across people you had been involved with, especially if you literally were with the rest of Reggie's siblings. Oh m y gosh. I wonder if Winslow was much different back when he was younger, which I imagine he was in a way, thanks to the explained portion of what happened in Paris.

I like getting more aspects to Winslow's personality here, especially in terms of something that's important to him - his sexuality and his own practices of monogamy or polygamy or something in between, and that he's learned quite a few things over the years, in terms of worldwide or more personal.

I am very curious to see how the investigation goes from here, especially since Winslow is suspecting a Mrs. Johnson more than anyone else, or she at least is an interesting note to him. Interesting and nice chapter!





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