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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

Captain MacKinley's Diary: 22nd January 1768

by Brigadier


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

As I sit here on this Friday night in a dimly lit inn room in Westminster, I think of the pleasure I was denied two nights ago and the variety of course changes I’ve had to make in different respects. Richard had decided when we awoke together on Thursday morning that we should divert our trip first to Frederick and Hagerstown, then move upwards to the Valley, proceed from there down to the Cecil area, and then finally continue to Philadelphia from there. I admit that our travel plans were entirely loosely formed around the illicit recommendations given by Colonel Washington and even he had not put them in order. It was Richard’s way of expressing interest to come up with a mapped out plan. This bouncing back and forth through the country side though would at least double the expected amount of time from the straight through instructions I had originally been given.

His claim to me is that I should have paid more attention when we were talking in my office at Alexandria, but I made sure to remind him that I had many distractions upon that day as well. A bright blush spread across his face as we sat in the tavern portion of the inn, sipping at our Liberty tea and chicory coffee choices. The tea was better than the coffee - the coffee was just something I would have to get used to again if I were to go back into active military service. There was most definitely a major war coming to our nation or else Washington would not have put so much effort into wooing the likes of me.

“Would you gentleman like anything else?” the ever attendant barman asked, clearing away our wooden dishes with a porridge and fruit preserves stain.

Richard was too focused on making his agenda to respond so I simply responded, “Yes, we’ll be having another pot of tea before we leave but can you see if the woman of the house has anything herbal for the stomach?”

Once the barman walked off with a nod, Lee looked up to me, asking, “Do we really need a wretched herbal tea just because I complained yesterday of my slight travel sickness?”

“I would have thought that someone who did so much traveling would be well acquainted with the bumps of the road but having seen your tender behind, I suppose you’re more acquainted with a carriage than the back of a horse.”

“Are you really going to keep going on about my lack of ability last night?”

I took another sip of my coffee, looking him directly in the eyes with a smirk as I said, “Every man comes to a point his life where he struggles with performance through no fault of his own or his partner’s urges. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Richard, but I will be expecting some progress from you in the future.”

We both returned to our respective drinks with our heads pointed towards work while waiting for the sun to finish rising, but I could still clearly see the blush getting deeper in his face. He was clearly thinking about the same thing as I was in that moment - the events of last night.

My initial impression of the Burgess Lee was that he was inexperienced but I was not aware of just how so until I attempted to take him to bed. His hands trembled with great force as he had attempted to take off the belt that usually holds my musket to my hip. The buckle of this one was far easier to deal with than that of the one on my trousers. With a few more tries of him sitting on the bed, me standing over him with the candle light behind me and a calloused hand on the back of his neatly trimmed head, and assistance from my other hand, Richard managed to get down to my undergarments. The shock in his eyes when he first saw my member peeking out from the waist band was the first clue that he had never gotten far beyond drunken kissing and groping.

“Can I help you with something down there, my sweet?”

“I…I’ve just never gotten this far with someone with it being entirely consensual and sober and clear of the mind-”

A choke and a sob stopped his explanation, his nervous hands moving from my hips and down to his own bare thighs. I left the one hand on the back of his and wrapped my other arm his shoulders to pull him to my chest. His tears streamed down, wetting both of our shirts as I kissed his forehead and tried to calm his nerves.

“Richard, put your garments back on and then we’ll talk about this.”

He gave me a whine followed by a nod of agreement, picking his undergarments from the crumpled mess of clothing on the floor. The temptation to force him through the emotions and brutally use him was there. The way that men like us communicated to go to bed together was usually less than loving and I had only experienced niceties a few times in my life. In my youth, there had been a boy near the same age that I had let penetrate me on the occasion when in my night time life I made a tidy sum for my family as a man about the streets. These were things that Richard would never know about me - he only knew of his obsession with me and not the obsessions of others. I was used to men of the higher classes being interested in the contents of my pants and wanting to be taken as their fake wives were taken by mysterious lovers.

“You don’t have to stop for me, William. I know that you’re a man who needs it and I don’t care if you take it from me. No one has ever asked before at Washington’s parties and-”

“This is not one of the drunken parties at the Mount and I do not have a reputation to protect. My love, I am only here to take care of you and give you pleasure.”

Richard stood up from the bed, keeping the waist of his undergarments pulled tight and walked away from me. I was left standing there with my arms open, waiting for someone to come over and feel my embrace. This hadn’t been what I meant to happen. I didn’t want to cause him further trauma by trying to protect him from the past in this moment. His spot on the bed was still warm when I sat down and tried to calm the excitement still growing in my lower regions. With his back turned to me and his body leaning against the door frame, Richard chose this moment to say, “You know you could have taken it if you wanted it. I wasn’t stopping you. You could have just hit me with your gun, choked me with your belt, shackled me with your cuffs, and had your merry way with me.”

“I could have done all of that but-”

“But you are that sort of person, William. I know all of the boys who work as clerks in Alexandria and I know you like to have it rough. So why don’t you want to have me like that?”

“Because I, Captain MacKinley, am deeply in love with you, Burgess Lee.”

There was no immediate verbal reply. He did slowly come back from the door and put less effort into keeping his underpants raised. I leaned back against the slightly stuffed pillows propped against the headboard, patting to the side of me with one hand. While keeping his silence, Richard came to lay his head on my chest, letting me kiss him tenderly as he looked up to me with soft, pleading eyes.

“Do you really love me, William?”

“I do. From afar for the entire time that we have been acquainted in the past year.”

This time he led in the movement of the kiss with inexperience being trodden out by the sheer desire and passion. I knew that our passion would not go very far that night but it was wonderful to think of kisses as we dared to brush fingertips together in the tavern room. It was so very hard for me to hide my deep love for him and to continue passing it off as the admiration that existed between comrades.

The sun rose soon after this point and allowed us to journey onto Westminster. We were tired after another long day of traveling but met with the appropriate city officials and business men before retiring to the friendly inn where I am now writing this entry. It was not one of the given items on the list from my superior - it was simply an establishment that I had frequented once before by the request of someone powerful. And I realize now, with more and more sexual entries made to my personal journal, that I could still be considered a common place whore. Just as I was in my youth. Which Richard still did not need to know about.

At the first point in the stables, in moments before we went inside to eat a hearty stew and exchange glances with other patrons, Richard surprised me with a deep kiss and a gentle “I love you”. We swapped our bodily fluids back and forth with our declarations of love before proceeding to dinner. I could not control myself during this meal, making a point of saying terribly dirty things to my boy, including how I would have him for my dessert. I did not realize the full effect of these actions until he requested my permission to visit the latrine and first had to place a handkerchief at the front of his trousers.

“Your father is going to give you permission for many things, Richard,” I explained to him while breaking apart my piece of crusty bread. “You only need to ask for something in the future to hear the verdict that comes along with it.”

“My - oh!”

The combined look of confusion, shock, and trying to hide his ongoing blush was what made him all the more irresistible. It was true that this sort of dynamic was usually shared by men of differing ages rather than how close we came together. It was also true that Richard entirely lacked experience in sex and that I had started much too young for my own good. This created a situation where he, the upper class gentleman, would become a slave to his master, I a man of the navy, who humbly served as his bodyguard.

“Would you like to enter into this arrangement, Burgess? Whether your wife and family be willing or not?”

“William, I gladly would because in our first night together you’ve already treated me better than my father has for my lifetime before this point.”

I held my pencil tightly in my hand, wanting to reach out to hug him and kiss his stressed forehead, but settled for a hand hold in place of the gentle brushing of our fingertips. Serious relationships had been a rarity for me with the strict conditions that came with them including that my partners wear hand cuffs - physically and metaphorically. And I preferred not to be restricted to one partner unless I was absolutely sure that they could meet all of my needs.

“My love and compassion for you, Richard, would be better suited with a ring, but our society would not think too highly of that.”

He released my hand as I said this, gathering up his papers with tears started to drip from his eyes and onto the drying ink. We didn’t talk much after this moment. Actually we didn’t talk at all through the process of gathering our belongings to take to our room, and checking on the horses once more before we went to bed.

“Would you like to go for a walk, Richard? To calm your nerves?”

He simply gave me a little nod, keeping his hand out of mine until we came to a spring house and a need for refreshment. I could still see the red in his cheeks from the tense thoughts that had clearly been on his mind the entire time we had been walking through the forested area. Once I refilled my leather canteen and took a seat against the tree where the horses were often tied, Richard came to lay sit between my legs, his back to me and his head laying against my chest.

“I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to answer you before.”

“When I said I couldn’t give you a ring, that doesn’t mean that I can’t give you some physical form of attachment.”

I pulled the handcuffs from my side pack after toying with them the entire time and being unsure about giving him such a thing. There were different from the ones that are government issued to enforcers of the law and instead ones purchased from a specialty shop in Scotland during my last visit. I had not been there for a joyous occasion, but instead for my beloved grandmother’s funeral, so I had been happy to stumble across the shop.

“Richard, would you please accept these as the greatest token of my affection?” I asked as I handed the pair of cuffs over to him, giving him a quick kiss on his forehead in the same swift movement.

“I assume these come with strict terms and an iron clad agreement?”

He started giggling with the cuffs in his hand, clearly proud of the word play as he nuzzled further against my chest until find a completely protected spot.

“Your joke aside, this would be an iron clad agreement and it might be something to discuss with your wife.”

“My wife knows about my activities and my attraction for you because we married each other for the same reason - protection from the cruelty of the outside world. She has a ‘cousin’ that has lived with her since she left her father’s household and we barely managed to consummate our marriage when the occasion arose.”

We smiled together in that moment, happy and blissful as we were away from the stresses of that cruel world. I never wanted to stop being with him or having him in my arms, but the sun was nearly gone, and we were going to be left in the woods without a way to get home.

“Richard, perhaps we should start home and continue our discussion of sexual failures elsewhere, my love.”

He must have been settling into his role of natural submission because he gave me another simple nod as we started walking back to the stable, this time with our hands held until we got to the beaten portion of the path. I released his hand from mine to let us enter our room at the inn at separate times and giving me enough advancement to combine the materials of the two beds into one, more comfortable surface. I waited so long for him to come, becoming worried about his progress and wondering what might have happened.

His extended absence is what caused me to sit down to detail the events of the day and I barely noticed him coming in while I was going through the retelling. Richard came to sit in my lap initially, facing towards me with our trousers rubbing their packages together, and silently demanding affection. I did manage to get him to sit patiently on the bed for most of the time but just now, he’s asked me if I’d like to try again. I’ve pretended not to notice his sexual moves around our room or the way he had undressed in front of me before laying down in the bed with the lubricant from my pack. I know that I won’t have him yet for it still makes me feel terrible for taking something so precious from him. That aside - I do have plans for him tonight and I’ll see how much my beautiful boy reacts to being treated right in the bed.


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Tue Jun 01, 2021 2:56 pm
MayCupcake wrote a review...



Hi CaptainJack!
Here's a review to finally take you out of the green room!

...clearing away our wooden dishes with a porridge and fruit preserves stain.


Nice imagery! You really have a way with creating pictures in your reader's heads to add more visuals to a scene and personality to your characters!

Richard was too focused on making his agenda to respond(,) so I simply responded,


This sentence felt a bit redundant with the two "respond" words and needs a comma before "so". Maybe instead of one of them write "answer(ed)"? or "reply(ied)"? I also noticed that several compound sentences in here need commas before the conjunction.

I would have thought that someone who did so much traveling would be well acquainted with the bumps of the road but having seen your tender behind, I suppose you're more a(c)quainted with a carriage than the back of a horse.


This is a rather long sentence, so I took the liberty to reword and split this up with a semicolon. --> "I would have thought that a traveler, such as yourself, was well acquainted with the bumps of the road; however, having seen your tender behind I suppose you're more acquainted with a carriage than the back of a horse."

We were tired after another long day of traveling but met with the appropriate city officials and business men before retiring to the friendly inn where I am now writing this entry.


This sentence is also pretty long, so I split this up into two sentences and fixed the flow of the adjective clause at the end. --> "Even after another long day of traveling, we still met with the appropriate city officials and business men. To our relief, we retired to a friendly inn where this entry is currently being written."

I could still see the red in his cheeks from the tense thoughts that had clearly been on his mind the entire time we had been walking through the forested area.


I thought that the imagery of blush throughout the story was well done! Red is a nice color to single out because of how vivid it is! I decided to reword this sentence, though not as long as the others, still feels quite run on. --> "The red in his cheeks still surged from tense thoughts whilst on our walk through the foliage."

Anyways, overall great job with the story! I thought that you develop characters very nicely :D. Take from my critiques what you will and keep on writing!




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Sat Apr 10, 2021 3:13 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi CaptainJack,

Mailice back with a short review! :D

Your whole first paragraph strikes me as MacKinley having changed a lot, and in a positive way, which I think is very good. I don't know what it is exactly, but I think it has something to do with him being a bit more open with himself and Richard.

Every man comes to a point his life where he struggles with performance through no fault of his own or his partner's urges.


There is a missing "in" between "point" and "his life".

These were things that Richard would never know about me - he only knew of his obsession with me and not the obsessions of others. I was used to men of the higher classes being interested in the contents of my pants and wanting to be taken as their fake wives were taken by mysterious lovers.


I find this a very interesting insight into MacKinley's past. I find it almost overconfident how he assumes here that Richard would never find out about it. It also shows me that he seems to know him better, and also Richard has a little too much tunnel vision and only has eyes for MacKinley.

"Because I, Captain MacKinley, am deeply in love with you, Burgess Lee."


I don't know why it makes me so happy to finally read MacKinley express what he didn't want to portray that way at all in the last few entries.

And I realize now, with more and more sexual entries made to my personal journal, that I could still be considered a common place whore. Just as I was in my youth. Which Richard still did not need to know about.


A very strong section that began with a beautiful description of what their journey was like. But here I find how dramatically the mood changes, as if a dark thought has just surfaced in MacKinley that makes him feel guilty. It reads really well and I don't think it needs more to sum up the emotions.
You've already managed to describe the evening/night very well, but here I think it feels like it's the bitter aftertaste of this memory, this love he has for Richard. It's almost as if he's afraid of himself and his past.

That was a very intense chapter. It was like the sea, pretty and calm, and stormy and wild. I found it to be in strong contrast to the previous entries, and I like MacKinley letting the chains of society fall away to write down his love life. I also really liked that this chapter was more about their inner lives and relationship again. I'm really curious to see what happens next and if there will be a surprise.

Have fun with the writing!

Mailice.




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Sat Mar 27, 2021 12:40 am
BluesClues says...



ahhh, we love to see queer people in other eras marry each other as beards but conduct their own queer relationships on the side <3





seeing this tag and going "oh what's this? :)" then getting slapped in the face with shady's good grammar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me
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