Hey again.
So I've gotten to the point in the poetry forum list where a lot of your poems are listed and I just sort of have to review them. I'm still really bothered by your style, as I see the lack of formatting continues along with the dramatic side. There's nothing really wrong with poetry focusing on the drama but I'd rather it not be every laiden word of every single poem of yours. All of the emotion put into the word choice does not transfer to the other side and it just stands there in that awkward way now.
I get that you must be very passionate about the message that comes through this poem, which at the moment just seems like a reflection on the combined commentary on different writers. And then there's of course the necessary mention of the 1920s, which always seems to come up when we're critiquing either the decline of an era or trying to idolize a past age. That part comes off in the way I just described it, half critique and half praise, for something that really can't have either pushed against it.
And I think my confusion also speaks to the confusion of the poem itself, where you just couldn't decide what type of imagery you wanted. The poem is about drowning in some part of culture and if you wanted the readers to drown in the poem, well you certainly got that part of the formula correct. If you wanted to make a big grand statement about society, maybe try and make it more of a statement, and less dramatic wording.
Happy revmo.
- lizz
Points: 650
Reviews: 766
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