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Young Writers Society



A Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes(Part III of the Lyric Trilogy)

by Caligula's Launderette


Part III of the Lyric Trilogy

A Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

- Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, The Beatles

Jezebel turned the corner, and kept running, it didn’t matter that her legs strained because of disuse or that shards of pain attacked her side. Crystalline tears slipped from dark blue eyes and smothered her cheeks and parted lips. When at last she stopped, she collapsed the grass beneath her. In her madness her tapered fingers ripped at emerald pikes of grass, and she rocked in time to silent sobs.

That’s how Michael found her, curled in the grass arms wrapped around her knees, tears drying on her cheeks.

“Jezy…” Her name came out tentatively, for he knew her temper and didn’t want to provoke it.

But when she didn’t respond, he knelt beside her in the grass, enveloping her in his embrace.

“Michael?” She whispered hopefully.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

Shaking herself out of her trance, Jezebel looked up at him frowning slightly.

“Come on, you don’t want to catch cold here in the wet.” He gestured to the dew laden park around them.

Gracefully getting to his feet, Michael offered her a hand.

For awhile they walked in comfortable silence, before Jezebel lashed out.

“I can’t believe her.”

Michael didn’t even bother responding, he knew this to be the beginning of a Jezebel Rant.

“I just, don’t know what to say, she, she, she can’t be in love with him. He’s uggg…he’s so…I just can’t believe her. What was she thinking when she said yes, god my mother never thinks.”

Jezebel had stop during the outburst and Michael turned back watching as she brushed a long blonde curl out of her face. Her lips pouted at him and the tears sparkled in the corner of her eyes.

“Jezy do you just not like Tyler or is it your afraid she won’t love you anymore, now that she’s got him?”

----------------------------------------------------

Jezebel stood on the rickety front steps of the house, convincing herself that the best thing to do was to go inside.

Yes, she told herself, I have to go inside sometime and apologize.

Jezebel hated apologizing almost as much as she hated cabbage soup, because that meant she had done something wrong and at heart Jezebel was a perfectionist. She supposed living with a single mother had done that to her. But there also was another reason she didn’t want to cross the threshold, Tyler was still there, his blue truck was still parked outside. Jezebel had never had a father figure in her life, and wasn’t planning on accepting one now.

We’ve done just fine the last sixteen years.

She felt great animosity towards Tyler for budging into their two person family, now it was to be three, an odd number, and Jezebel felt very uneasy at the feeling.

Mom has had boyfriends before, but not like this, not like Tyler, and she has never even talked about marriage before.

Jezebel scowled as she remembered her mother’s words, “Tyler asked me, hon, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”

They had always discussed big life events together before finally deciding on them, and this time she felt left out, forgotten. She knew the marriage proposal was inevitable but Jezebel just thought, hoped really that they could have at least discussed it. But no, her mother’s words were final; she and Tyler were getting married. But Michael was right she didn’t hate or even dislike Tyler, he was a great guy and even greater for her mom, but they had been a two person family for so long, his addition meant that her mom could place all her energy on him.

On second thoughts that’s just silly!

Finally having enough courage, Jezebel walked through the door, snaked her way into the living room, to where Tyler and her mom were seated on the rust colored couch.

Lifting her eyes to meet both her mothers blue and Tyler’s brown she spoke, “I don’t have to call you dad, do I?”


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Sat Jul 18, 2020 7:18 pm
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! It's Knight Hardy here to leave a review as part of an ongoing mission to ensure that no work on YWS has less than two reviews. You will probably never see this but oh well here I am.

First Impression: A lovely end to the story with some happiness for them all. I love the direction that this went in and I'm sad this went unnoticed when it was originally posted. I truly enjoyed reading this quite a lot.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Jezebel turned the corner, and kept running, it didn’t matter that her legs strained because of disuse or that shards of pain attacked her side. Crystalline tears slipped from dark blue eyes and smothered her cheeks and parted lips. When at last she stopped, she collapsed the grass beneath her. In her madness her tapered fingers ripped at emerald pikes of grass, and she rocked in time to silent sobs.


This is quite dramatized here. Very interesting choice there but once again the emotion is crystal clear and the description is amazing.

“Come on, you don’t want to catch a cold here in the wet.” He gestured to the dew laden park around them.


That word has to be added in there. Just a small typo...the first one I have seen across this whole story.

“I just, don’t know what to say, she, she, she can’t be in love with him. He’s uggg…he’s so…I just can’t believe her. What was she thinking when she said yes, god my mother never thinks.”


Well...somebody is getting jealous. I love the way you've portrayed this very realistically.

Jezebel hated apologizing almost as much as she hated cabbage soup, because that meant she had done something wrong and at heart Jezebel was a perfectionist. She supposed living with a single mother had done that to her. But there also was another reason she didn’t want to cross the threshold, Tyler was still there, his blue truck was still parked outside. Jezebel had never had a father figure in her life, and wasn’t planning on accepting one now.


Nice little bit of insight into Jezebel's thoughts. Her actions are on point to reflect this too and that is of course a great thing.

We’ve done just fine the last sixteen years.

Finally having enough courage, Jezebel walked through the door, snaked her way into the living room, to where Tyler and her mom were seated on the rust colored couch.

Lifting her eyes to meet both her mothers blue and Tyler’s brown she spoke, “I don’t have to call you dad, do I?”


And a lovely little ending. I'll certainly be reading this many more times in the days to come. This has been an interesting read.

Aaand that's it for this one as well.

Overall: It was a lovely story to read. It brought out emotion very well and did a great job of capturing a reader. It's a simple message with a lot of meaning behind it and it has been a pleasure to review.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





The strongest people are not those who show their true strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.
— Unknown