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Upon The Bridge

by BraidenEllis


He sits upon the bridge at night

Going over his miserable life.

He thinks of what he didn’t do right

To deserve this constant strife.

~

He sits upon the bridge at day

Praying for some sort of sign.

A sign that could possibly show him a way

Or tell him at least: why?

~

Why does he deserve this pain

Of living as someone he’s not?

Could there be anyway to gain

A light through the darkness life begot?

~

The answer is no; he’s all alone

With nobody there to help.

And so he decides on a way to atone

And ends his life himself.


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13 Reviews


Points: 164
Reviews: 13

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Sat Oct 22, 2016 4:47 pm
bmnovelist wrote a review...



This is very good! The rhyme scheme is great, and it didn't seem like you were just finding words that rhymed, they actually worked cleverly into the scheme. Great work! I've always been a fan of poetry. And it kind of makes me wonder what this symbolizes, well, there could be a great deal of things. Any further explanation to that?




BraidenEllis says...


The poem can really be interpreted in any situation in which a person is forced into a role in life that they do not identify as or are just not at all. When I wrote this poem, the actual situation I was basing it around was someone who is homosexual being forced into living as a heterosexual, while that is something that is completely not them.

Again, it can be interpreted with whatever hits closest to home with you, and I'm glad you liked it :)



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48 Reviews


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Thu Oct 20, 2016 9:53 am
Rosy234 wrote a review...



Hi, here with a review. First of all, I like your rhyme scheme and I thought it brought a flow element to this piece. I like your rhetorical questions within the poem. I was very moved when he dies at the end and I loved the way you worded it, by saying "and ends his life himself". This poem shows the grief of a man and he's reflecting but it gets too much for him and he decides to commit suicide. Overall, I enjoyed this piece and I'm hoping to read more of your work.

~Rosy234




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40 Reviews


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Thu Oct 20, 2016 6:46 am
Sharon1407 wrote a review...



This is a really good poem, Braiden. It totally justifies it's genre of dramatic mystery or suspense. But I personally feel that your sentences could have been a bit long to make it an even better read. And the word, atone, really means making amends or reparation. So if you would have explained this man's life a bit more, I think it would more satisfying to the readers.And, I should also add that this is the first review that i'm writing and it's totally a personal opinion. :)




User avatar
40 Reviews


Points: 106
Reviews: 40

Donate
Thu Oct 20, 2016 6:45 am
Sharon1407 says...



This is a really good poem, Braiden. It totally justifies it's genre of dramatic mystery or suspense. But I personally feel that your sentences could have been a bit long to make it an even better read. And the word, atone, really means making amends or reparation. So if you would have explained this man's life a bit more, I think it would more satisfying to the readers.And, I should also add that this is the first review that i'm writing and it's totally a personal opinion. :)





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