Dawn & Dusk Final Chapter!!!

by BottomlessEyes

Published April 22, 2010

Okay, well, I write in sections so this is the last chapter.....no he wont be gone forever!

***************

I sat down, wondering why Cameron was acting so weird. I looked up into those beautiful midnight blue eyes that I loved, and there was sadness. I opened my mouth to speak, but he put his finger to my lips.

"Shh. I don't want this to be any harder than it is...and it's hard enough." He said, quietly, looking at me with such intensity, I could only nod. Silently, I prayed Please don't let it be what I think it is.Please just let it be something else.

After a long pause, Cameron spoke, "They're making me leave". I swallowed, hoping that it was a dream. "Who?" I asked, sullenly.

"The angels... The-they...found out. About us." He started, his voice cracking, " I think that Jason told them something." Jason is Cameron's brother, but he is a fallen angel.

My throat burned, and my eyes were threatening to spill tears. "They can't take you away from me!" I said, almost screaming, and the tears I tried so hard to contain, spilt.

"Skylar, please don't cry. You know that I love you, and now, so does everyone else." Cameron said, wiping away my tears with his long fingers. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears. I heard something shatter, and it took me a while to comprehend that it wasn't my heart, but a window. There was a huge storm going on outside, and because of the storm in my mind, I hadn't even noticed it.

"Please," I whispered, "Don't go." He looked down, and then at me and said, "I'm sorry...The storm won't stop until I leave..." He walked over to the shattered window, and jumped.

I hadn't noticed that I stood up until I felt myself falling. I heard a soft whisper in the dying wind and looked up.. In the place that Cameron had been standing, was a soft white feather.

The words that had been whispered were still in my mind. I love you. I stood up and walked over to the feather, and picked it up. My tears were flowing rapidly as I looked outside and only saw the stars.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Feb 1, 2022

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

I sat down, wondering why Cameron was acting so weird. I looked up into those beautiful midnight blue eyes that I loved, and there was sadness. I opened my mouth to speak, but he put his finger to my lips.

"Shh. I don't want this to be any harder than it is...and it's hard enough." He said, quietly, looking at me with such intensity, I could only nod. Silently, I prayed Please don't let it be what I think it is.Please just let it be something else.

After a long pause, Cameron spoke, "They're making me leave". I swallowed, hoping that it was a dream. "Who?" I asked, sullenly.

"The angels... The-they...found out. About us." He started, his voice cracking, " I think that Jason told them something." Jason is Cameron's brother, but he is a fallen angel.


Okayy..this is quite an emotional start to proceedings here. This is certainly quite a moment. As a reader you are instantly dragged into the chapter here with a statement like that one and with some proper heartbreak potentially incoming, I think you're doing a wonderful job dragging us readers into the story, especially by introducing some interesting reasons there for why this is happening. Those certainly aren't your typical reasons.

My throat burned, and my eyes were threatening to spill tears. "They can't take you away from me!" I said, almost screaming, and the tears I tried so hard to contain, spilt.

"Skylar, please don't cry. You know that I love you, and now, so does everyone else." Cameron said, wiping away my tears with his long fingers. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears. I heard something shatter, and it took me a while to comprehend that it wasn't my heart, but a window. There was a huge storm going on outside, and because of the storm in my mind, I hadn't even noticed it.

"Please," I whispered, "Don't go." He looked down, and then at me and said, "I'm sorry...The storm won't stop until I leave..." He walked over to the shattered window, and jumped.


Well things do seem to be escalating quite quickly towards only one possible ending here, and it is surprisingly sad here. For two characters we know pretty much nothing about, this is quite a strong bit of emotion you manage to portray here and as readers we're actually able to sense this fairly strongly here.

I hadn't noticed that I stood up until I felt myself falling. I heard a soft whisper in the dying wind and looked up.. In the place that Cameron had been standing, was a soft white feather.

The words that had been whispered were still in my mind. I love you. I stood up and walked over to the feather, and picked it up. My tears were flowing rapidly as I looked outside and only saw the stars.


This is a powerful little ending here. I think that feather is a really neat touch to finish the scene off, and just in general you manage to create a really nice situation here. It all comes together really quite nicely I think and on the whole it is just really neatly done as a scene here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

User avatar
Mira
Review
Mira wrote a review Review · Jun 8, 2010

This was just captivating. :)

I heard something shatter, and it took me a while to comprehend that it wasn't my heart, but a window.


This made me shiver. I really liked the sentence.

Jason is Cameron's brother, but he is a fallen angel.


This sentence is a little too direct for me. It feels like there is so much information missing. Does Jason not like Cameron? Why is he a fallen angel? It would be wonderful to get to know a little more about Jason.

"Shh. I don't want this to be any harder than it is...and it's hard enough." He said, quietly, looking at me with such intensity, I could only nod.


The end of the quote should look like: ...and it's hard enough," he said...

Overall, wonderful job! It's a bit confusing, because I don't know all of the story, but I was completely upset over the separation of Lilith and Cameron. It sounds like they were so in love.

~Mira

mrs.emmettcullen wrote a review Review · Apr 22, 2010

OMG i love it!!!!
you showed me this yesterday at school but i didnt read the ending!!!!!
hehehehehe
love ya!!!
i hope you know that as i write this...i can see you across the room!!! :elephant:
:thud:



You can't blame the writer for what the characters say.
— Truman Capote