Published January 20, 2019
"I love you!" she said, waiting outside the classroom early in the morning, even though I was always late.
"Guess what?" she asked, driving me home. "What?" I'd ask in reply. "I love you!" she said, hugging me at the stoplight.
"I love you," she said, hugging me as I came out to her. "Thank you," I replied, too relieved to tell her more.
"I win!" I said, tapping her nose. "No, I win!" she said, tackling me. "I win," she said, brushing my nose with hers.
"I love you," she mumbled sleepily, nuzzling the back of my neck. I felt her arm wrap around me, and I sleepily took it.
"I love you--my friend!" she said, as my parents walked into the room. I thought to cuddle her, but I held still.
"I love you!" she said, tackling me at the train station. "Good to see you too," I said, smiling. I hadn't seen her in months.
"I love you," she said, brushing my hand with hers as we walked to my house.
"I love you," she said. "Whatcha writing?" she asked, hugging me from behind. I continued writing a letter I was too afraid send.
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Canary word: Present
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139,227 Literary Works • 672,517 Reviews
I liked the poem overall. It had a great story to tell and a bit of suspense throughout the work. I think the only thing that could have perfected such a beautiful work, would have been to somehow indicate the change when someone speaks. Like making a new paragraph or putting it on a separate line. But all in all, it was a captivating piece and I hope to see more of it.
Never stop writing, you have good talent.
Wow! This is really good! Keep up ybe good work, and I'll hopefully see more from you soon!
This is really good! I really like it! I didn't see any grammar issues or misspells, the only thing that I think could be changed it when someone else starts speaking, I think you should create a new paragraph, so people don't get confused on whos talking. Other then that, I think its really good! I can't wait to see more from you!
As always, keep on writing, and have fun doing it, too!
-Horisun