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12+ Mature Content

The Poems Don't Come Easy

by BlueAfrica

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16 Reviews

Points: 258
Reviews: 16

Sun May 26, 2019 6:14 am
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GirlWithATypewriter wrote a review...

Hey Blue Africa,
It's GirlWithATypeWriter here for a review.
First off, I think this is a beautifully phrased, well-executed deep poem. As a writer, I can totally understand the depth of feeling felt by the writer here.
Onto the content, I think it is not easy to take a single simple everyday, mundane scenario and turn it into a very deep image by itself, and I truly applaud you for that. Also I love the fact that you haven't used any flowery language but yet managed to deliver the message strongly.
My most favourite part of the poem was,

" Blood beaded out one
at a time "

I could feel the pain, through each and every single pause in between and it physically made me cringe as I personally hate, loathe, detest, deslike needles. So hats off on the imagery.
Overall, loved it, and hope to see more of your work.

BlueAfrica says...

Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked it!

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254 Reviews

Points: 11396
Reviews: 254

Fri May 17, 2019 7:25 pm
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Sonder says...

oh my goodness. this is absolutely lovely. I love the threaded-together images of the narrative and how it connects to the title. I don't have a full reflection but I just wanted to say that I really like this. :) <3

BlueAfrica says...

Thanks so much! %u2764

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30 Reviews

Points: 1334
Reviews: 30

Thu May 16, 2019 8:13 pm
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GigiNicole17 says...

Go Blue! Literary Spotlight!!

Great poem, though LOL

BlueAfrica says...


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155 Reviews

Points: 11208
Reviews: 155

Wed May 15, 2019 8:30 pm
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Toboldlygo wrote a review...

Hey there! Toboldlygo here for a review!

Well, first of all, I must say, I feel for this poor character of yours. That was a lot of pain and effort to go through to still not get enough blood to test the blood type. Ouch.

From a literary standpoint, I think this is a great poem. It makes me think of a person struggling through something that should be simple, but making it almost impossible to complete. I think it's a lovely sentiment and relatable for most (almost all) readers. I think it could also be about someone performing a simple task and then being in such a state of mind so as to want to cause him/herself pain. It's a bit darker, but still something I see in it. I love how, regardless, the task fails to be completed because, despite all the pain. The futility of the endeavour makes it more tragic, somehow.

I do question why a thumbtack is being used? As someone with first aid training, I'm reading "BLOOD-TRANSMITTED PATHOGEN! BIOHAZARD!" as I read the poem. I'm not saying it's wrong or that you have to change it, but it does make it seem less believable that this is a lab/educational setting and more as if it's an individual trying to hurt him or herself in private. Since you state for a lab, a needle would be more believable for the readers, but of course it's your poem and you should keep it how you like it best. It's just a thought about how the wording makes the setting sound.

Happy Writing!


BlueAfrica says...

Thanks so much for the review! This is a real thing I did for a lab several years back, so to be honest I'm not sure what we used! I remember it as a thumbtack but mostly what I remember is that they *made* us take our *own* blood and the whole time I was just "is there not a medical professional in the building who can do this for me???" Anyway, good note from you on that, and you had some great insights in interpreting the poem. Thanks again!

Toboldlygo says...

Oh my gosh! I am going to hope you are misremembering and they didn't actually do that! Anyway, it was a great poem, so well done. :)

If I seem to wander, if I seem to stray, remember that true stories seldom take the straightest way.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind