Dear most esteemed Count Von Draco,
I appeal to you in this letter as a plead, a plead on the humanities and moral righteousness of one of your vamparic rituals.
We humans have compromised to accept your existence and in turn stay well out of your way, but it has come to my attention that you vampires farm your own offspring for sustenance.
This is the most outrageous thing and I am ashamed to hear of it. Even though we are different, it is difficult to comprehend that a being that looks so alike to us can undergo this most disgusting and ridiculous cannibalism.
I urge you to repent from your ways, or else I will have to form a petition to get the priests to come to your house.
Sincerely,
Mr. John Spankson.
________________________________________________________________________________
To Human,
I present to you my argument over your concern and against human public issues.
First and foremost,we vampires are not and never were humans. Humans seem to hold strange sociological morals in which they pass down from generations This is not the case with vampires. We do not share your ideals nor should we feel inclined to conform to them. What vampires see as 'right' and 'wrong' is not the same as your narrow-minded human view.
As you pointed out in your letter, humans like to make certain care to stay away from us, which results in malnutrition and poverty midst the vampire species. In order to counteract this dire effect we turned to an ancient tradition of home-grown food. You see, vampires have a very short gestation period in comparison to humans, and any body that we birth does not inherit the vamparic traits unless undergone a specific ritual. These 'babies' as you may like to call it, are born human.
This is merely the same as how you humans breed cows, except we breed them ourselves in a sense that gives us even greater right to feed from them to sustain us.
From the sexiest vampire of all,
Count Von Draco.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Dear most esteemed Count Von Draco,
Your argument is invalid. You are eating your own babies. It is just wrong in so many ways. You must never undergo this cannibalism again. It is not the same as eating cows. You are, in effect, eating yourself. How do you feel about eating yourself, Count Von Draco? Does it give you a sick sense of satisfaction? A sense of justice that it is right, and you must keep doing it?
There is a name for that. It is called "mental instability," and if you don't change your views soon, the priest will knock on your door and offer your only chance of hope. This is not a threat, dearest Count Von Draco, but rather an opportunity that can change your way of life around. However, if you do not act soon, this wondrous opportunity will turn into a threat, and we would have no choice but to go there ourselves and put an end to your madness. Please rethink your actions. This is your last warning.
Sincerely,
Mr. John Spankson
_________________________________________________________________________________
To Human,
You do not seem to understand. These are not vampires. We form not emotional attachment to them. If we want proper children we will undergo the proper ritual in order to create vampire offspring. These current cattle are simply made to sustain our race. Unless you would very much like to offer yourself and your family as a sacrifice to our thirsts, I advise you stop complaining and simply live your life and let us live ours.
Get lost and stop sending me letters.
From the sexiest,
Count Von Draco.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Dear self-conceited Count Con Draco,
You bloodsucking fool! I offer you the help you so desperately need and would be so lost in this pitiful world of yours without it, and here you are, telling me off! Do you not understand the dire consequences of your words?
Do not tell me what to do, you disgusting creature.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Human,
Unfortunately you have become a hinder. We ate your mailman. Do not send another if you want him to suffer the same fate. I also advise you refrain from complaining or else we will send gargoyles to attack the town.
Draco.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Dracula,
Go and g....[blood splatters cover rest of page making it illegible]
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Donate