Hello! LadyShadows here to review!
I can say that this was a refreshing poem. It was unique in my opinion, as I noticed in a lot of Christian writing that they do not look at the glass half full, meaning that if there was no darkness, there'd be no light. People don't always think of such things in a neutral prospective. So I'd give a thumbs up. I also liked how you done a pattern between a tercet and two quatrains. Not very many people do that. However I have noticed something:
'Nothing to act nor to act upon' I don't think the word 'nor' was necessary. 'Or' is a better word to use.
Also:
1.) 'There would be no happiness, if there were no misery.'
2.) 'There would be no righteousness, if there were no wickedness.'
3.) 'There would be no life, if there were no death.'
I'm pointing out these three phrases because I think you should replace 'were' with 'was'. So it would be:
....if there was no misery
....If there was no wickedness
....If there was no death.
To me this sounds better.
Lastly I'd have to say that I loved the beginning but hated the end.
'All things must have vanished away'
I feel like this should have been better. Other than all that I pointed out, I think this was a very good job. Keep writing!
-LadyShadows
Points: 3240
Reviews: 51
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