INDIA-A UNIVERSE ON EARTH
India for me is a land of countless things, things which cannot be described or comprehended so easily in a literary sense. India for me, also evokes a sense of timelessness, the story of the land being narrated down from times immemorial and will continue to be narrated for posterity. The narrative has become richer, more diverse and extravagant, so to say, over the course of time. Probably it is the only place on Earth that is still ancient in many ways. Many things have remained the way, they were back in the ancient times and many of its aspects have had a tremendous impact on the way we live our lives even today. India, over the course of centuries has assimilated many religions, languages and cultures in to its social fabric and has made itself in to a land of mind-boggling diversity. The sheer range of people, places, emotions, beliefs, ideas, attires, tastes and smell makes it truly a universe on Earth.
India today in its present form is a result of many invasions. Invasions which profusely gave a lot, than simply taking away. It’s not just a land of overwhelming diversity but what makes India a truly multicultural society is the constant sharing of languages, ideas, religion and culture itself. The fact that India has remained a tolerant country for years highlights the truly remarkable spirit of acceptance. Accepting different religions and cultures in to its social space and allowing them to flourish has made India a robust and strong society.
Amidst all the change that India is going through, it still exudes a strong sense of heritage and culture. Heritage, which both in its natural and cultural form has been a kind of anchoring force for many people, who wish not to be swept away by the wave of dynamism that has struck the country in the last few decades. No other place can be thought of, where culture is still the most essential part in the daily lives of its people and will remain so forever.
What amazes a lot of people about India is its paradoxical nature. India’s elements as a society are both traditional and modern, rich and poor and also both empathizing and apathetic at the same time, which makes it a very complex ecosystem to understand. But those who can see through the entire complexity and understand the mechanism at work will extract a whole new meaning for themselves about India. Everything is so overwhelming when you’re living in a country of more than a billion people, the sights, smells and sounds sometimes have a tendency of leaving you both confused and transfixed at the same.
India for me is a macrocosm, a place which is much more than it seems to be. Perhaps, analogically a huge canvas with a billion colours painted on it. Colours which mix in to each other, accepted by each other and supported by each other for so many generations. I wouldn’t say the painting is complete and I wish it never is completed because all I want to see is an ever evolving India, but its base firmly rooted in to its culture and heritage. Let the painting wait for its end to come but while it is being painted every day, let us enjoy the different patterns we see in it and realize what a great country we are living in.
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Canary word: Present
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Hi!
I came by to review this essay since it was in the green room for far too long, and it needs to go out into the free world. So, I like this essay. Not for the description, but for the common interest about your view on India and how it has affected your life for the greater good. There seems to be some good examples about the culture of India and the different things that can amaze people.
I feel like the beginning of this essay is very cliche towards everything else. It doesn't seem to drag the reader in with a hook, withhold them into reading what's in front of them. Try asking a question to begin the essay- make it so that when the reader is reading through this piece, the question in the beginning is answered along the way. The same could go for the end. Like tying a bow on a present, create an summary-like ending for which the reader will enjoy/have an a-ha moment.
You seem to pick the topics nicely, describing each one, but all of it seems repetitive. What are the others wonders of India that make it so great? Give some examples about the different things you could possibly see in India (examples: animals, pottery, food, etc.) and work your ways up.
[... and also both empathizing and...] Either use and or also, because they both mean the same thing.
I feel like the end of this essay is just a completely repeating itself, and could possibly be confusing to the reader. I'm wondering why is it like a canvas, with a bunch of paint. Could it be from the culture? The whole place itself? Be sure to which is which, and read the ending aloud- I'm sure you'll see what I mean.
Overall, this was a fun essay to read. I enjoyed the examples you gave about how India is captivating. My favorite part would be the middle paragraph, since it is full of infomation about it.
If you like me to go over anything, let me know!
Steggy
Hey there AshokCh. It's just lizzy for a review. I saw your essay floating around in the green room and decided to check it out. I have not reviewed many essays, so my review style is not perfect, but I will certainly try. Well that's enough chit chat, let the reviewing begin.
I try to save my praise of a work till the end, but this time I will break that rule. I loved the vivid descriptions of your essay and the thought that you put into. Alright, now on with grammar and spelling.
Grammar and Spelling
-P1, S1-S2
In the first and second sentences, you begin by saying "India for me." In the first sentence however there is no comma after "me", which bothered me a bit. While I was reading the text, I heard the same pause in my voice, but it was not on the paper.
-P2, 3, 4
I did not find any grammar or spelling errors in the second, third, or fourth paragraphs.
-P5
This is not exactly a mistake, just something I was confused by for a few seconds.
To me this sounded as a run on. Saying complete twice in one sentence is also a bit much. Either add a comma or two or split the sentence up into a couple of pieces.
Content
Alright, now that all grammar and spelling mistakes have been addressed, on to the content of your essay.
I am pretty sure this sentence was meant as a thesis statement. I did like this sentence because it worked well as a thesis statement and you covered everything stated.
For this review I do not have much, mostly because this was a short essay. I found few errors, so congrats on that.
I forgot to welcome you before. Welcome to YWS!
Happy Review Day!
-lizzy
Superb. Maja aa gaya....