z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Beyond the Stars

by Ashley123


Prologue

Humans, homosapiens, they study the stars, pretend like their the only ones in the universe. But, if you really think about, if you dig deep within your own subconscious to think about the complexity of the idea of space in itself you can't possibly be the only ones. There is a vast number of black holes, and other means of transportation to find other galaxies, other planets, and other life somewhere that you have never even dreamed of. Deep down in the center of inky blackness that veils outer space, farther than the ordinary eye can see, is a planet in peril, life that needs saving; and a war that is just beginning. In a separate galaxy, one where other life is known, lies two planets at war; one dying, and one at the brink of invasion.

The Iceans are a superior race of warriors who kill with no mercy. They vary on their looks of which lineage they were born into. The royal Iceans are supreme rulers who rule with an iron fist, they destroy their people and their home in search of only one thing power. The royal blood that runs through these alein's veins makes them look no different than humans. They have the same angular faces, and sharp features. If humans were to see them they would think no different of them, but soon would learn that their species means destruction. The second lineage are the protectors, the most brutal and merciless of all. They have grotesque features that make you want to steer clear of their deformed faces. Their gray skin that looks scarred on all edges, the tusk like teeth that stick out of their mouths like knives are only a few of their horrific features. It was once said that the protectors were born like that so that they would scare their victim's away, but their victims never get away before blood is spilled on Icea soil. Icea's soil is nothing but a wasteland. The horizon is dull gray, light never shines down on the demented dirt. Their planet's resources have been chipped away, by none other than the species themselves. Iceans are greedy, and all that they ever want in their short lives is power. They took all of the matter and gems that they could take from their home planet, slowly killing their planet from the inside out. Icea was dying. The young king, Sathor, decreed that they'd find a new home, a new place to start a new life; and by doing this they would take the home that another civilization cherished. They would take this planet and rule, stealing all of their resources, and becoming the most powerful race in the universe.

The planet Bathazanian was Icea's opposite in every way. It was a beautiful place, it was paradise. The plant life was brilliant and colorful, the trees climbed higher than the atmosphere, and the flowers were unlike nothing you had ever seen before. You could practically swim through the golden grass. The sky was always a variety of blues, oranges, and purples; it was as if it had to be perfect in order for us to live. The Bathazanian's had different classes or factions. There was the highest class, sheema, which translated into English would be royalty. The megins, which translates to the keepers, and the ami, which translates to common. Everyone in every faction has their own personal family marks on their necks. The sheemas have the original royal crest, a spiraling circle that looked like it traveled to the back of their brain stem. Megins have a rectangle mark that has different Bathazanian marks imbeded into it, showing that their the royal guard. The ami have an ordinary circle with a dot in the middle, representing the people that the royal's try so hard to protect; but even still they could not do it. When a sheema comes to a certain time of age they inherit their powers, abilities; everything from teleportation to telekinesis. They can receive anywhere from two to four abilities, making them superior in every way, even though they could pass off as human beings. And at this time, every sheema also receives a megin, or a keeper. When they go through this ritual, a new mark appears on their arm, the mark of infinity, showing that they'll forever be bound; that now the keeper has to keep them safe.

When I received my keeper, Sandor, I didn’t know what was about to happen next would change my life as I knew it. My brother and I came from a long royal bloodline, the bloodline that saved our planet and protected us from darkness. When the Iceans came to our planet, they learned of the discovery that in the heart of our planet lies darkness, darkness that turns even the best people mad. The Iceans broke war against us, slaughtering our people and making us slaves, asking us how to open the darkness; but we didn’t dare tell them. Until one day they figured it out. They realized that when the oldest elder in my bloodline locked away the darkness, that it was bound by blood, our family blood. And the only way to open it up again was for the youngest member of the recent royal bloodline, to die so that their blood could soak into the earth. They wanted to kill me. They chased after me and tried to destroy me, waiting for the chance to kill me. But, when we escaped my parents sent my brother, me, and our two keepers to the only place that they could think of, earth. They sent us there to live out our days, hoping that we would live in order for our species to survive. For if the darkness is ever opened, that means death throughout the planet, death for my species. I need to train, I need to survive, I need to live in order for Bathazanian to live; to thrive throughout me. I am my planet's only hope, and I will not fail my home. Bathazanian will rise out of the ashes, and we will be reborn.

Chapter One

I woke up, panting and covered in sweat. I ran my dry fingers through my blonde hair as I felt the mark on the back on my neck, remembering my past home. I twisted my small mouth into a frown as I tried to get the idea out of my head. My small, thin stature made it easy for me to level myself back down, my blue eyes darting all around as I traced my infinity keeper sign on my wrist. My hands pulsed with power as I tried my best to calm down; I wasn’t on Bathazanian, and I'm never going back. My teeth ached as I tried to make the pulsing go away; I was probably developing a new ability, I remembered the symptoms back on Bathazanian. I stood up on my small feet, my long legs leveling out my body. I stretched out my limbs and exited my room, still disgusted about how cheap this apartment was. I let my bare feet touch the wooden floor as I tried my best to forget about my past life. I've been on earth for ten years, I need to let go of the memories. I heard a loud noise as Sandor came out of his room, his dark brown hair and hazel eyes complemented his striking features. His tan skin glinted in the sun, while his bright smile could light up a room. I tucked strands of ratty hair behind my ear, trying my best to look at ease for Sandor; the person who knows me better than anyone. I let a small grin creep up the corners of my mouth, trying hard not to show Sandor my affection towards him. He walked closer as his groggy eyes showed lack of sleep. He scratched his scalp as he yawned, showing how comfortable he's been in this home for the past ten years. As he approached I tried hard to think about Sandor's point of view, how hard it must've been for him to leave his family. Sure, it was hard for me, but I have more people relying on me to stay safe. As for Sandor, after he left he had nobody. The Iceans had already slaughtered his family before his eyes; he's probably looking forward to making sure that their kind don't get what they want. When he stopped right in front of me we exchanged smiles, I tensed up my jaw trying to look serious.

"How'd you sleep last night?" He asked, as I watched him linger closer to me.

"Okay." I said, barely sounding audible. I leaned up against the table behind me, and tried to stay steady as more aches and pains came about. It started in the tips of my fingers, making my hands soon feel numb. It crept up my arm, it felt as though acid was burning my muscles as it did so. I held my limbs in pain, trying not to fall over, but doing a poor job at that. My teeth began to ache as well, a sensation that felt like my gums were being pulled from my mouth. I screamed out in pain, a blood curdling scream erupted from my raw throat. I saw Sandor rush over to me as I fell onto the ground, rocking my body back and forth with a small sense of comfort. A new pain came up my spine, and the ending result was a migraine that felt like it was tearing my brain apart.

"Skylar! Skylar are you okay?!" Sandor screamed as he looked deep into my eyes.

The pain increased even more, blood spilled from my nose as I tried to conquer the pain. But soon, my mind took me to a different place. There was a loud screeching sound as I drifted away from Sandor's handsome face. I began to see flashes. I saw the Iceans, the soldiers were darting towards me as Sathor watched with a cunning eye, his right hand man standing next to him. He pointed to me and commanded something in Icean, a foreign language to my kind. Thousands of ugly soldiers came darting towards me, their scarred skin looked as though it were impenetrable. There was a flash of smoke and darkness as I struggled to connect back to reality. I saw Sathor's face, his cunning complexion made me want to destroy him. He tucked my hair behind my ear and put his lips close to my eardrum; I could hear him breathing in my ear. "I will find you."

I came back to reality, wiping the reminisce of blood that was there on my upper lip. Sandor squeezed my hand and helped me back up, trying to level me out. "What was that?!" He asked unable to contain his pure astonishment. I shook my head, not sure what to think either. I held my face as I thought through the new development, coming up with an explanation. I looked at Sandor deep in the eyes, trying to calm his nerves. "I-I" I began, still regaining my energy. "I think that I'm developing a new ability." I said, slightly smiling. "Well, what ability?" He said. I shrugged, not knowing exactly what it was. I moved away from Sandor and went back into my room, sitting on the edge of my bed and resuming my deep thoughts. Sandor came in and sat down next me, placing his warm hand to mine. I could feel a tingling sensation as his fingertips touched my skin, like a burst of energy just shot throughout me. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, looking genuinely worried about me; it was his job to keep me safe after all. I opened my mouth to speak, ready to break the inevitable silence between us.

"When I was lying on the ground," I began, my mouth feeling like sandpaper. "I saw something. It felt like I was seeing the Icean's plans. I don’t know, something like that." I let my blonde hair spill over my shoulders as I picked at my fingernails, still staring at my keeper's mark. The mark that represented pure infinity. I heard Sandor's breath against my neck as he thought through this process. He looked as though he talked himself into believing that Bathazanian and Icea never existed, that they were just a figment of his imagination. He placed his hand on my shoulder as he tried to comfort me, even though his efforts never succeed. I took a deep breath as I waited for Sandor's response.

"What do you think it means?" He said, catching me off guard.

"I don't know." I confessed. "But I do know that it should be taken as a threat. And we need to do something about it!" I got up from the bed and stood in the doorway, looking down at my feet uncontrollably. I looked back at Sandor as his eyes gazed in mine, he looked like he felt guilty about something.

"Look, Sky. I don’t think that we need to take it seriously. The way that you described it, it sounded like a nightmare, you're probably just overreacting." I sighed as he finished his last word, making me scoff to myself. "You never understand." I muttered, as I shot a glare at Sandor. I ran out the doorway and rustled my fingers through my hair, feeling stress rise throughout me. Sandor stayed in the room and sat there, intently staring at his hands. I felt betrayal, and madness rise throughout me, making my palms ache. I tried to calm down, letting myself know that I would wreck havoc upon myself if I didn’t. I felt upset with Sandor, he refuses to ever talk about Icea, and Bathazanian. He pretends that this is our real life, like we have always lived on earth. I know that somewhere deep down inside of me, something is telling me that death is coming. I have to find out what is happening, I can't just live in the shadows anymore.


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120 Reviews


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Reviews: 120

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Sun May 22, 2016 2:49 am
RippleGylf wrote a review...



Very nice. :) The first paragraph really caught my eye as being very well written. A few proof-reading issues, such as spaces in "homo_sapiens" and "life_is", but overall very good.

The rest, while well thought-out, seemed very derivative due to one easily fixed fault. You keep using the same words to start sentences, often "I" or "The" or "They." As a rule, I typically follow N2SSWTSW; No 2 Sentences Start With The Same Word (in the same paragraph). Besides sounding repetitive, it adds a sense of immaturity to the piece. It will take a bit of work to fully fix the writing you've done so far, but once you do, it will greatly improve upon the brilliant story you've already written, and all that is yet to come. Keep writing!




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58 Reviews


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Sat May 21, 2016 7:31 pm
AkeliaTaske wrote a review...



Hey there! Akelia here!

So, let's get this review started, now I do admit I'm not the greatest at reviewing but I will do my best! I always do my reviews with sweet and sour. Let's start with sweet.

1. First off, this was EXTREMLY well written. I loved the way it flowed, it made it really easy to read. You did a good job with making it well flowing.

2. Second, You did very well with description. I could practically see the Icean's bodies, you made it very easy to imagine. And, I really liked how the Bathazanian's have different tattoos to symbol rank. That was a good idea!

Now, for the sour. :(

1. I wasn't really sure what you meant when you said "My blue eyes pacing all around." I'm not sure if pacing was exactly the best word to use, although the reader does get an idea what he's doing, I wouldn't use the word 'pacing.' Maybe you could use 'searching'. Just an idea.

I do have a question though. What is a homosaepian? I was a little confused when you said that at the beginning of the story.

And also at the beginning of the story, it kinda sounded like Superman and Krypton :)

Anyway, good job! Never stop writing!

-AkeliaTaske




Ashley123 says...


A homosaepian is the scientific word for human, sorry if I confused you.



AkeliaTaske says...


K, thanks!



Ashley123 says...


No problem.




To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13