Young Writers Society

Hello again @Ari11 I said I'd try to get to this chapter today as well, and I well here I am, so lets dive into it shell we.
Okay so I noticed this chapter was longer then the other once witch is something I like about chapters so I'm looking forward to reading it.

It was still fairly early in the morning, and the streets were empty, with only a few pedestrians walking by on the concrete. Albert turned to the right, pulling into the parking lot of a small local restaurant. The flickering neon sign read Uncle Joe's Bistro and Beer. Albert locked his truck and walked inside, where he was greeted by the smell of freshly grilled meat.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to Uncle Joe's," The girl at the counter greeted him. "How many?"

"Just one," Albert replied. The girl nodded, looking him up and down. He was suddenly very aware of his flannel shirt, old jeans, and disheveled hair. Not to mention that he was going into a burger place, alone, at 7 o'clock in the morning. He reached up and combed his hair with his fingers, trying to get it to lay flat.

The restaurant was empty. There didn't seem to be anyone inside other than the staff. But Albert wasn't complaining. He liked his solitude. It was why he moved into the forest, after all.

"Hello, sir!" Another woman stepped over to his table, holding a small notebook and a pen. "I'm Diane, I'll be your waitress for today. What would you like to order?"

"I'll take a cheeseburger with everything on it. Except the tomato."

Restaurant tomatoes always tasted like wet socks.

"All right. We'll have that right out for ya." As she walked away, the little bell by the doorway rang. Albert looked up to see who it was.

Oh no. Oh nononono....

A tall, middle-aged woman stepped into the restaurant, wearing a white v-neck sweater and wielding a black handbag. Her light brown hair swept her shoulders as she looked around, taking in the place with pale brown eyes.

Albert lowered his head, hoping she wouldn't notice him. But he was the only person in the restaurant, so...what do you expect?

"Hello, Melanie," Albert greeted her, raising his head. "What brings you here?"

"It's one of my old haunts," Melanie replied, her gaze drifting around. "From back before...you know."

"I don't need you bringing that up," Albert muttered, glaring at her over the edge of his glass. "Why are you here? I know it's more than nostalgia. What do you want?"

"I just want to talk," She answered coldly. Suddenly, the door to the kitchen banged open and Diane came striding out, balancing a plate on one hand.

"Here is your burger, sir," She said, setting it in front of him.

"Thank you."

"A cheeseburger?" Melanie asked, raising an eyebrow. "At seven AM?"

"What? It's just what I felt like getting. You got a problem with that?"

"Well, you see...that's what I've come to talk to you about," She ran one finger around the rim of the glass, collecting the dew on her fingertip. "I'm worried you're...not taking care of yourself. Ever since what happened with Brooklyn, you've retreated, figuratively and literally. It can't be good for your health, all this solitude."

"I like being alone. I get a lot more done."

Both eyebrows were raised now.

"Not that I didn't enjoy living with you and Brook," Albert said quickly. "But after everything that happened...what did you expect me to do? Stay?"

"Do you think you're the only one who wasn't affected?" Melanie's eyes were ice cold. "Do you think you're the only one who cries herself to sleep at night, longing to have her daughter back? Do you think you're the only one who walks past families on the street, wishing she could have that, be part of that again? Because you're not the only one who misses her! But you ARE the one who CAUSED. HER. DEATH!"

She slammed her fist on the table, upsetting the glass and spilling water everywhere. Albert grabbed some napkins from a nearby dispenser, trying to clean it up. Melanie tucked her hair back behind her ear, taking a deep breath.

"It's your fault that the oven was on that night. It's your fault the house caught fire."

"It was a mistake," Albert replied. "Anything could've happened that night. I wasn't the only one who used the oven."

"So you're accusing me?" Melanie demanded.

"No! I'm saying don't blame me for everything! There's no way I could've known about the gas leak. But you always have to pin the blame on somebody!"

Albert stood up, napkin crumpling in his hand as it curled into a fist.

"Do you think I don't feel bad enough already?" He cried, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. "This is exactly why I moved away."

"Albert!" Melanie screeched, but he was already out the door, leaving his burger abandoned on the restaurant table.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy well this chapter tells us quite a lot here. The plot really taking some pretty big strides in that one compared to how the previous two chapters were a little bit more on the passive side. I love how how much we get to learn here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Dirt gave way to gravel, gravel gave way to asphalt, and the trees gave way to buildings. Albert gazed around as he drove through town in his old Dodge, watching the familiar boxy buildings go by. The small library, the dentist's office, the gas station that sold stale donuts under a heat lamp. It was still fairly early in the morning, and the streets were empty, with only a few pedestrians walking by on the concrete. Albert turned to the right, pulling into the parking lot of a small local restaurant. The flickering neon sign read Uncle Joe's Bistro and Beer. Albert locked his truck and walked inside, where he was greeted by the smell of freshly grilled meat.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to Uncle Joe's," The girl at the counter greeted him. "How many?"

"Just one," Albert replied. The girl nodded, looking him up and down. He was suddenly very aware of his flannel shirt, old jeans, and disheveled hair. Not to mention that he was going into a burger place, alone, at 7 o'clock in the morning. He reached up and combed his hair with his fingers, trying to get it to lay flat.

The girl led him to a small table in the corner of the restaurant. Two varnished chairs stood there, facing each other across the scratched wooden surface.

"Here you are," She said, placing the menu on the table. "Someone will be with you shortly to take your order."

"Thank you," Albert settled into the chair facing the door, not bothering to pick up the menu. He already knew what he wanted.

The restaurant was empty. There didn't seem to be anyone inside other than the staff. But Albert wasn't complaining. He liked his solitude. It was why he moved into the forest, after all.

"Hello, sir!" Another woman stepped over to his table, holding a small notebook and a pen. "I'm Diane, I'll be your waitress for today. What would you like to order?"

"I'll take a cheeseburger with everything on it. Except the tomato."

Restaurant tomatoes always tasted like wet socks.

"Anything else?" Diane asked, scribbling down his order on her notepad. "Something to drink, perhaps?"

"I'll stick with the water," He replied.

"All right. We'll have that right out for ya." As she walked away, the little bell by the doorway rang. Albert looked up to see who it was.

Oh no. Oh nononono....

A tall, middle-aged woman stepped into the restaurant, wearing a white v-neck sweater and wielding a black handbag. Her light brown hair swept her shoulders as she looked around, taking in the place with pale brown eyes.

Albert lowered his head, hoping she wouldn't notice him. But he was the only person in the restaurant, so...what do you expect?

"Hello, Albert," The woman said, sliding gracefully into the chair across from him. She had a slow, silky voice, like distant thunder.

"Hello, Melanie," Albert greeted her, raising his head. "What brings you here?"

"It's one of my old haunts," Melanie replied, her gaze drifting around. "From back before...you know."

"I don't need you bringing that up," Albert muttered, glaring at her over the edge of his glass. "Why are you here? I know it's more than nostalgia. What do you want?"

"I just want to talk," She answered coldly. Suddenly, the door to the kitchen banged open and Diane came striding out, balancing a plate on one hand.

"Here is your burger, sir," She said, setting it in front of him.

"Thank you."

"A cheeseburger?" Melanie asked, raising an eyebrow. "At seven AM?"

"What? It's just what I felt like getting. You got a problem with that?"

"Well, you see...that's what I've come to talk to you about," She ran one finger around the rim of the glass, collecting the dew on her fingertip. "I'm worried you're...not taking care of yourself. Ever since what happened with Brooklyn, you've retreated, figuratively and literally. It can't be good for your health, all this solitude."

"I like being alone. I get a lot more done."

Both eyebrows were raised now.

"Not that I didn't enjoy living with you and Brook," Albert said quickly. "But after everything that happened...what did you expect me to do? Stay?"

"Do you think you're the only one who wasn't affected?" Melanie's eyes were ice cold. "Do you think you're the only one who cries herself to sleep at night, longing to have her daughter back? Do you think you're the only one who walks past families on the street, wishing she could have that, be part of that again? Because you're not the only one who misses her! But you ARE the one who CAUSED. HER. DEATH!"

She slammed her fist on the table, upsetting the glass and spilling water everywhere. Albert grabbed some napkins from a nearby dispenser, trying to clean it up. Melanie tucked her hair back behind her ear, taking a deep breath.

"It's your fault that the oven was on that night. It's your fault the house caught fire."

"It was a mistake," Albert replied. "Anything could've happened that night. I wasn't the only one who used the oven."

"So you're accusing me?" Melanie demanded.

"No! I'm saying don't blame me for everything! There's no way I could've known about the gas leak. But you always have to pin the blame on somebody!"

Albert stood up, napkin crumpling in his hand as it curled into a fist.

"Do you think I don't feel bad enough already?" He cried, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. "This is exactly why I moved away."

"Albert!" Melanie screeched, but he was already out the door, leaving his burger abandoned on the restaurant table.

I'm so happy to see chapter four! As well as excited!!

Honestly, I'm still loving Albert. Such an honest and relatable character. No shame for cheeseburgers at seven am, either. I'd do the same if I was craving one. As bad as the interaction was, I actually feel the same kind of sympathy for Melanie. Both of them lost their kid, after all. You can't expect them just one of them to be entirely hurt (even if it's clear they both need some therapy). I hope we see more of her, as I'm actually really interested in her.

Also, just as a funny side side note, I feel so bad for Diane and the other employees having to listen in on this. Not how they expected their morning to start.

Overall, really happy to see more exploration into Albert's tramua and guilt, plus meeting Melanie. Can't wait for more!