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Broken(song, lyrics)

by Anma


what if i break?

what if i fall? 

go through this pain

Just to start to crawl

I sleep in my bed

with no were to hide

if I can live without this pain

would it be easier?

Oh, tell me its easier 

Well its okay I guess

its not like I'm on a quest 

"just trust me" he says

"just trust me"

Fall into my arm

crumble at my feet

this is who you are

But I'm free.....and you don't know me

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125 Reviews

Points: 7365
Reviews: 125

Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:53 am
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xJade wrote a review...

Wesh, Jade here to review your song. I'm just going to give my overall thoughts.

Though I think this is meant to be a slow song, I read it as a rap. Maybe add in a voice recording of you singing it, or at least a clue on how it's sung.

The flow and rhyme scheme is great. Practically flawless! Work on your punctuation and such, but other than that it is super good.

Great work, I love your art. :)


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27 Reviews

Points: 257
Reviews: 27

Mon Mar 11, 2019 1:59 am
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Morgan wrote a review...

Hey Amna. It’s Morgan her for a review.

Toats heart this! This was really sweet and I have a friend who can totally relate to this poem. So yeah. Anyway, for suggestions, i would say maybe separating this into stanzas or maybe organize this where you have the verses, the refrain, the chorus and all the other stuff. I’ve written a few songs myself and I won’t promise you that I am a professional at the whole song-writing structure thing, but I do know where I need to have the verse 1 and then the refrain and all that stuff. But yeah...

I’m not saying that you HAVE to do this, I’m just saying that if you want or if you ever consider writing more songs in the future.

Anyway, I see that you’re new and I would like to say a very late welcome to YWS!!! You’ll have a blast here. You’ll find people who actually understand the whole art of writing and you’ll maybe even get some close friends.

So good job on this. I totally LOVED it. I mean, I wish that I could’ve heard it in person. Lol :)
hope you keep on writing and I can’t wait to review more of your work.

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41 Reviews

Points: 57
Reviews: 41

Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:27 am
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starryknightt wrote a review...

This is really, really good. As someone who only wishes she could write songs/poetry, I am entirely impressed. I can almost hear the melody in my mind. And, by the way, this song is so relatable. The struggles, though slightly different than mine, are relatable. However this song came to be, just know that I'm rooting for you. You can get through anything.

This song is tender and soul-wrenching, almost. I feel like I'm trapped, listening to it, then comes the end and I feel like my eyes have been opened. I AM free. We are all free. We just need to realize it and help others realize it as well.

Anma says...

Exactly! Thanks so much!

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45 Reviews

Points: 1624
Reviews: 45

Fri Mar 08, 2019 9:55 pm
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potatoefry2001 wrote a review...

Hey @Anma, 'Tato here for a review.
I love these so much!! Especially the line that says "But i'm free.... and you don't know me." You have left me speechless and you really deserve a pat on the back for this piece!! You should be really proud of yourself. That's all I have to say. Just great job and keep up the awesome work. PM me if you ever need to talk. About honestly anything.

'Tato out.

Anma says...

Thank You!!

your welcome

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
— Helen Keller