Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Lyrics » Lyrical

E - Everyone

Broken(song, lyrics)

by Anma


Broken

what if i break?

what if i fall? 

go through this pain

Just to start to crawl

I sleep in my bed

with no were to hide

if I can live without this pain

would it be easier?

Oh, tell me its easier 

Well its okay I guess

its not like I'm on a quest 

"just trust me" he says

"just trust me"

Fall into my arm

crumble at my feet

this is who you are

But I'm free.....and you don't know me


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
27 Reviews


Points: 257
Reviews: 27

Donate
Mon Mar 11, 2019 1:59 am
View Likes
Morgan wrote a review...



Hey Amna. It’s Morgan her for a review.

Toats heart this! This was really sweet and I have a friend who can totally relate to this poem. So yeah. Anyway, for suggestions, i would say maybe separating this into stanzas or maybe organize this where you have the verses, the refrain, the chorus and all the other stuff. I’ve written a few songs myself and I won’t promise you that I am a professional at the whole song-writing structure thing, but I do know where I need to have the verse 1 and then the refrain and all that stuff. But yeah...

I’m not saying that you HAVE to do this, I’m just saying that if you want or if you ever consider writing more songs in the future.

Anyway, I see that you’re new and I would like to say a very late welcome to YWS!!! You’ll have a blast here. You’ll find people who actually understand the whole art of writing and you’ll maybe even get some close friends.

So good job on this. I totally LOVED it. I mean, I wish that I could’ve heard it in person. Lol :)
hope you keep on writing and I can’t wait to review more of your work.
~Morgan




User avatar
33 Reviews


Points: 74
Reviews: 33

Donate
Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:27 am
View Likes
starryknightt wrote a review...



This is really, really good. As someone who only wishes she could write songs/poetry, I am entirely impressed. I can almost hear the melody in my mind. And, by the way, this song is so relatable. The struggles, though slightly different than mine, are relatable. However this song came to be, just know that I'm rooting for you. You can get through anything.

This song is tender and soul-wrenching, almost. I feel like I'm trapped, listening to it, then comes the end and I feel like my eyes have been opened. I AM free. We are all free. We just need to realize it and help others realize it as well.




Anma says...


Exactly! Thanks so much!



User avatar
45 Reviews


Points: 624
Reviews: 45

Donate
Fri Mar 08, 2019 9:55 pm
View Likes
potatoefry2001 wrote a review...



Hey @Anma, 'Tato here for a review.
I love these so much!! Especially the line that says "But i'm free.... and you don't know me." You have left me speechless and you really deserve a pat on the back for this piece!! You should be really proud of yourself. That's all I have to say. Just great job and keep up the awesome work. PM me if you ever need to talk. About honestly anything.

'Tato out.




Anma says...


Thank You!!





your welcome




Too often we crave the extraordinary in life, without even learning how to cherish the ordinary first. Friend, I promise you this: if you can learn to take joy in the simple mundane things in life, the extraordinary will take care of itself, it'll be on its way, hurrying towards you. But if you skip the first part, it'll ever evade you.
— Arcticus