Blue eyes are the dream eyes
their so full of light and also oceanic
Blue eyes are the celebrity eyes
They are the eyes that tell you your right
Blue eyes they are so bright and clear
Watching them you can have no fear
Blue eyes are the promise of tomorrow
*
Blue eyes they can be so wise
And show emotions from surprise
To sorrow that no words can ever say
And yet so much more in a single glance they convey
Blue eyes, so full of grace
A reminder of the strength and a never-ending grace
Blue eyes, so full of light
Shining through the darkness of our world and guiding us through the night.
*
Blue eyes are such a charm
They light up the sky and keep us safe from harm.
Blue eyes, so bright and bold
The symbol of the star-spangled shield
Blue eyes, so full of life
Never faltering in the face of danger, always standing by his side
Blue eyes so bright and true
A blessing from heaven to "blue eyes" so sweet and so few.
*
~ Blue eyes are just blue ~
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,752 Reviews
Greetings Poet!
Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a lovely poem titled “Blue Eyes” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.
Very first of all, I'm glad I got to read this poem, it is a beautifully amazing poem about the blueness of blue eyes. I must say that I'm in full agreement with you, "Blue eyes are the dream eyes", "they're so full of light and also oceanic" and yes, "blue eyes are the celebrity eyes".
But that aside, you skillfully portray the loveliness of blue eyes. The figurative language in your poem boosts the impact of it.
In the first and last stanza you regularly use the term "Blue eyes", one after another, but in the second stanza it seems a bit mixed up. You could consider adjusting this for a better flow.
Just like LuminescentAnt mentioned, I think you made a teeny tiny grammar mistake in the second sentence of the first stanza, instead of "their" I think you meant "they're".
Most parts of your poem rhyme and some don't, perhaps you could consider letting everything rhyme than just some lines. But of course, that is up to you, if you decide to let it rhyme, you could take a look at Poetic Forms: Climbing Rhyme for some extra inspiration.
Everything in all and all in everything, your poem has a lot of potential and I enjoyed reading it. Keep on doing what you do and good luck with your future writing projects!
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
With writer’s love,
Rose
Hey Rinisha! I'm here to leave a checklist challenge review using the YWS S'more Method!
This is a beautiful poem! There were lots of awesome descriptions and metaphors, and I loved that they rhyme! And the repetition works so well, too! But let's get on with the review!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This poem is a description of blue eyes, a color of eyes that the narrator describes in great detail about its beauty. They describe what is special about them, and that they are not just pretty, and have a deeper meaning to them.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
There were a few breaks in the pattern of the description - it seems like in some parts, it rhymes, but in other parts, it doesn't really. Here's what I mean:
In this part of the poem, the lines are well rhymed, and flow nicely. This also had the pattern of alternating, one line saying, "Blue eyes something" and then the next line is describing the blue eyes.
Aside from the clear-fear rhyme, none of the lines are rhyming. I'm sorry to be picky about this, this is just a suggestion. I think the poem would flow better if it was a teensy bit more consistant. Because when I was reading this, I was confused on what kind of poem you were going for, in terms of patterns and repetition.
Also, I'm sorry to be picky about another thing, but I just wanted to point this out.
I loved what you wrote here, but it seems like you rhymed the word "grace" with "grace," instead of using another word. I understand it is hard to find the right rhymes for things, but just like before, I am just making a suggestion.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
The words themselves were really well written. It truly describes the beauty of blue eyes, how they look, and also the things beyond.
(⬆Just noticed this, but you used the wrong "their" here. It should be "they're." No biggie, a small mistake.)
I love all these lines, they make an amazing addition to the poem, and really describe how beautiful the eyes are. Great job!
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, this is a beautiful poem describing the wondrous blue eyes, with enchanting cool color and sparkle. I hope this review was helpful! Can't wait to read more of your stuff!
Happy Writing!
Hey Ant,
Thank you for reviewing my work. and don't worry about being picky. I'm glad I'm receiving honest critique.
Hey there! Here's my review:
Starting with the strengths of your poem, you have utilized repetition VERY effectively, specifically with the repeated phrase "blue eyes," which serves as a unifying theme throughout the poem.
The use of vivid imagery, such as "full of light" and "oceanic," provides a strong visual representation of the subject matter, and is a unique and intriguing way to describe them. Additionally, the poem makes use of rhetorical devices, such as hyperbole and personification, which adds depth and complexity to the writing.
On the other hand, there are some weaknesses that could be addressed to improve the poem. One of the most apparent issues is the lack of consistency in the structure and meter of the poem. While some stanzas follow a consistent rhyme scheme, others are more free-form, which can be jarring for the reader. Additionally, some of the lines feel forced or clichéd, such as "Blue eyes are the promise of tomorrow," which is an overused sentiment that lacks originality.
Another area for improvement could be the organization of the poem. While the repetition of "blue eyes" provides cohesion, the poem feels somewhat disjointed at times, jumping between descriptions of the eyes and their symbolic significance. A clearer progression of ideas or a more defined structure could improve the overall flow of the piece.
The poem also lacks a clear central theme or message. While it's about blue eyes, there isn't a clear idea that ties everything together and gives the poem a sense of purpose or direction.
And, the poem has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be cleaned up. For example, the first line should read "they're" instead of "their."
In conclusion, while your poem does show A LOT of promise with its vivid imagery, use of rhetorical devices, how it captures the beauty of blue eyes, there are areas that could be improved to elevate it to the next level. With a focus on consistency in structure and meter and a clearer progression of ideas, this poem could become a more cohesive and powerful piece of writing!
- HB
Hello!
This is a poem that focuses on the beauty and allure of blue eyes. The author uses descriptive language to create an image of blue eyes as bright, clear, and full of emotion. The poem suggests that blue eyes have a special power to convey strength, grace, and protection. The final line, "Blue eyes are just blue," is a simple and effective way to bring the poem to a close and emphasize the simplicity and natural beauty of blue eyes. Overall, the poem is well-written and evocative, and it effectively captures the appeal of blue eyes.
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Hello Rinisha!
Who doesn't love blue eyes? This reads like a new love, and I am down for it. There is a unique beauty to blue eyes, and you put it in deeply emotional words.
This is my favorite moment. It's beautiful, graceful, and perfectly worded.
My only critique is relating to grammar. You mix up "their" and "they're, and "your" and "you're". There are several points where you use the incorrect form in the poem.
This was a highly enjoyable work of art. It was just-... beautiful.
Absolutely perfect. Well done!
Christus Rex Est,
Pickled Chrissy
Thank you so much. And I'll check my faults alos, thank you.
I'm happy you like it!
- Rinisha
Hello, It's Mika here!
in a good way of course.
First of all, I like blue eyes too. I don't know, it's just something about their color that makes them look so striking. This poem captures the beauty of blue eyes in a very interesting and captivating way. I like how this poem uses vivid imagery to describe the depth and oceanic quality of blue eyes! This poem gives me a sense of mystery and wonder
(Blue eyes are such a charm
They light up the sky and keep us safe from harm.
Blue eyes, so bright and bold
The symbol of the star-spangled shield
Blue eyes, so full of life
Never faltering in the face of danger, always standing by his side
Blue eyes so bright and true
A blessing from heaven to "blue eyes" so sweet and so few.) This part touches on the protective nature of blue eyes! The language used evokes lots of emotion, making it an engaging and enjoyable read! Keep writing, you're great!
Have a good day/night/afternoon!
Thank you so much for the kind words, Mika!
- Rinisha