Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So...a very simple little story with a fairly simple little plot. It's written really well for what it is and it flows very smoothly with just the right amount of description and emotions to garnish it. Definitely was a lovely story to read on first impression but there were kind of a lot of typos so you need to take a look at this with autocorrect.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Sun set across the meadow of another world. Towers of bark and oceans of water lillies graced the earth with their prominent beauty. Kara smiled wearily at the orange sky, with its red streaks of firey passion, and soft pinks of affection.
Great opening paragraph. It sets the setting beautifully with some amazing imagery. Only thing is there seems to be a couple of typos so I will point those out real quick.
lilies
fiery
She glanced quickly behind her, to see if anyone was in view. There was no one, save the boy by her side. As she turned to look around, so did he. It was as if they were one being, and if she moved, he would have to move as well, and so forth.
Interesting....
Taking her by the hand, the boy smiled, and gripped firmly to her. Kara smiled back, and gissed his cheek. After doing so, she leaned over to his ear and whispered, "I love you." She smiled at him and waited for a responce. None came. She was confused at first, not understanding why he would not speak to her. The boy simply stared at her and smiled. "Don't you love me back?" she asked him in a hurt voice. Her only answer was that the boy stopped smiling at her.
Ouch that would suck.
Also I think you meant kissed and response.
Soon the boy let go of her hand, and took a step back. "Wait!" she called after him as he began to leave her side. He did not stop walking away. She ran after him, leaving her shoes behind, (she had taken them off and dangled them in the lake only []b]minues[/b] before). Stones tore at her feet, but she kept running. It was strange, because she was going as fast as her feet could take her, and the boy was simply walking away, yet she could not catch him.
Okay sounds like the start of some nice actions. And another typo with minutes
Then her head tilted forward, about to hit the ground. She was the wetness of the grass, and wondered why, since it had not rained the entire time she was there with the boy. Just before her head hit the ground, she wondered if it would hurt, since everthing was happening so slowly. Could gravity be faulty here? If so, would falling, simply mean floating? She hoped so, for if not, she was to recieve a nasty bruise. She very much hated to have wounds, especially on her face.
Those are everything and receive.
She was at home, quite safe, and in her bed. She sighed, and then smacked herself in the head. It had only been a dream of course! Just a silly dream! She looked over to the other side of the bed, and sleeping soundly was Jake. She so wanted to wake him up and ask him of he loved her. But she wouldn't. He was so adorable when he slept. Then she noticed something. That silly boy, to whom she gave her heart readily everyday until the end of time...was smiling.
Aaand a nice little twist for the ending with the whole thing being a dream. A pretty sweet little that you have there...and it looks like someone has been talking in her sleep.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Okay...so overall it was a really fun little story. I loved the whole idea behind it and its the type of short story that you can read twenty times in a day and not get bored of. Its just simple and brings a smile to your face. Great job!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 257473
Reviews: 4116
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