Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
the world called you crazy but i knew the truth
baby i’m so sorry that i stole your youth
[extended instrumental part]
beg Jah for forgiveness
quick find me a witness
[shorter instrumental bit]
i can’t believe it’s finally coming to me
realization that was your fantasy
end stagnation feel it wash over me
will it relieve you finally having me see?
everything you said was all true
rummaging through memories anew
could it be i could find words for you?
or would it be much too late to make do…
[singing begins to get a little monotone and matter-of-fact]
if words, when put together
could convince you to stay together
would you really be the one for ever
after all that i did, and… [disinterested] whatever
[spoken word, no singing now]
lazy rhyme, lazy time, make it all mine
you’re not listening anymore? what a whore
forget what i said, i was aiming for bed
you know the real story—you’re better off dead.
———
This is something I wrote the first two lines of and two other excised lines ages ago, and then came back to it and decided to go a completely different less sympathetic direction inspired by Henry Rollins’ song Liar. It came together pretty quickly once I realized the better direction.
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Canary word: Present
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Am in a bit of a poet-y mood so hi Witch Aet~
I kinda get the feeling that this can also mean “if I could say the right things, maybe you’ll stop falling apart” <-- as in, “I saw that what I did to you was horrible and brought you low, so maybe there are some magic words to make it all better” (they aren’t, at least not coming from THAT person)Before reading this, I would like you to know that every time I saw this on my spreadsheet, I immediately had an earworm of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLZSYnq9zjQ
So onto reading:
Oh I do like the second line. Also something’s coming back to me about the topic of the poem so: creepy vibes rising.
I know based on how the story ends (poem I mean arrrgh too much lit reviews not enough poem reviews xd) that this isn’t the real meaning buuutttt:
But I guess the actual meaning is more literal, as in “get back together, in an actual relationship”
Ahh what creepy vibes, and the ending is ofc so typical. Very well hit, aet.
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Wow well done. I use this app to make my songs real and I want you to make this into a real song. I'm impressed. The app is called Suno and it is so good. Make your lyrics into a soundtrack. I never read a song like this before...not that I know of a least. I can't wait to read more of your lyrics. https://suno.com/
This was certainly interesting.... I'm afraid I didn't quite get the context for most of the latter half of the poem. Particularly the part starting from
and ending with That could just be me though.I think it's a good concept, and the parts I understood I appreciated. What I could gather that this was perhaps a satirical view of a person in an unhealthy relationship? Them being what made it unhealthy. I would liked more context or more narration to make it more clearer.
Hi, thanks for commenting! This is a depiction of an apology for abusive behavior in an age gap relationship, but as the person reveals they arent really remorseful and were just trying to get the victim in bed again.