18+ Language Violence

let the blood spill past my lips, it's not mine

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and violence.

It was the dead of night and all was still. The church stood ominously at the end of the road, towering far above the lone figure standing in the middle of the road, staring up at it. They ran a hand through wavy hair, tugging lightly on the ends of the strands before walking up to the church. Each step was measured and careful, laced with confidence that only those who existed between pages of a fairytale ever had.


"Ashswag, I swear to-" He choked slightly on the following word, glaring balefully at the entrance to the church, listening to the faint heartbeat and the dark chuckle that reverberated somewhere within. He scowled, pushing the sunglasses further up his nose and moving towards the church with purpose, smoothing down the suit and brushing imaginary dust off of the vibrant scarlet.

A man slid out of the shadowy doorway, purple and black eyes sparkling down at him and Reddoons could see the smirk playing on the blurry figure's mouth. Glossy black hair was plaited into a neat braid that ran down his back, rich purple robes flowing down so the hem barely reached the floor.

"Asshole." He said, dragging a hand down his face and glowering. "I came all the way out here and you're just going to sit there and not even greet your friend?" Ash sighed audibly. What an infuriating bitch. Redd took another step forward, close enough to the iron gates to touch them.

"Oh Reddoons. You know I can't do that." Energy hummed from the gates and church but he could feel the coiling mass of darkness sitting at the core, corrupting the holiness around it. The vampire bit down harshly on his lips, putting a hand on the gate and pushing it open. The iron burned harshly, leaving a welt on his ivory skin but he pushed past the pain, pressing forward.

"What are you trying to do? Everyone knows vampires can't enter holy ground." He could hear the smugness, the faux confidence in that asshole of a priest's voice, but he could also hear the speeding up of his heart, the easily identifiable tang of fear and he smiled back, fanged and mockingly pleasant.

"Oh Ashswag. Since when have I ever listened to the rules?" He stalked closer, teeth bared in a grim smile. Everything burned and smoldered around him and his vision wavered. His insides felt scorched, acid bubbling up and tearing through. His blood boiled, tips of his fingers turning black with ash as the holy grounds tried to burn the darkness in him. He ignored the blistering agony, to the best of his abilities. Every step was a struggle, a burst of white hot flames flickering at his heel and setting nerve endings into flames. It would be worth it, if he could just make it into the church-

Ashswag recoiled away from the sight of his ghastly expression, mouth pulled into a grin that was more grimace than smile, corners stretched tight with pain but it was a grin nonetheless. Smoke fluttered off of him in small coils, curling into the night air and disappearing, leaving only the nauseating smell of burning flesh to linger in the air.

Every atom in his body felt scorched, splitting and pulling apart at the seams but holding on by just the thinnest of threads, desperate to finally sink into the darkness that threatened to consume him. Redd coughed, a rattling, nasty sound that had him reeling forward, blood oozing out of his mouth and dripping onto the nice suit. A shame that was, now he’d have to buy a new one.

“Ashswag~ don’t you want to see me?” He added honey to his voice, making it as sickly sweet as possible as he batted his eyelashes up at the priest who was staring down at him with little emotion.

“I am your greatest creation, afterall. I think I deserve a little attention.” Bitterness coated the words, still in the same syrupy tone as before. “Who would have thought? A well known priest, devoted to the Gods, creating an aberration like me? What was it you called me? A vampire? I would have thought you’d known better.” Reddoons tutted, as if in disapproval, ignoring the way the simple action made his head feel as if it were splitting into two jagged pieces.

He was so close now, close enough that if he wanted to, he could reach out and touch Ashswag. Which he did, grabbing the priest’s collar and tugging him closer, until they were eye to eye, close enough for their noses to be touching. Close enough he could feel Ash’s warm breath on his cheek, to notice the dark flecks in his eyes, marring the otherwise perfect irises.

Redd laughed out of a mixture of pain and delight, taking joy in the way Ash smelled entirely of fear, palms damp with sweat and shaking slightly. The bitter ozone and rose scent he’d always associated with the creator was tainted with the sweet, sweet smell of fear. But Ash just smiled that lazy smile at him, uncaring and confident and the fear ebbed away slightly.

Warm fingers reached up, testing, and Redd let them, curious, as Ash lightly placed his fingertips on his cheeks, purple eyes glittering.

“Have you had enough of your tantrum yet, darling?” The darling was completely unnecessary in Redd’s opinion, mouth curving downwards. He leaned into the touch before letting himself go spineless, the priest catching him with a surprised high-pitched laugh. Soft hands ran through his hair and the pain died down as he was tugged inside, set onto a pew.

“You really did a number upon yourself, idiot. I told you the church ground will burn you, you just had to go and ignore me, hm?” Ashswag spoke in rhetorics, not really caring if he got an answer or not. Reddoons chucked halfheartedly, throwing an arm over his face to block the candlelight that was now being shone in his face.

“And I told you I was a theater kid.” Redd spat out a mouthful of salty, metallic blood. He never enjoyed it when it was his own, secondhand blood. It was too- artificial, for lack of a better term. Ash peered down at him and Reddoons could see his reflection in his eyes, ignoring the knowing smirk that graced the other man’s lips.

“Moron.”

“Asshole.”

“Capitalist.”

“...communist…”

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
syzygy
Comment
Stickied · syzygy commented · Thu Sep 05, 2024 3:42 am

I will let it be known this was written awhile ago and went through very light editing before I posted it.

User avatar
Ranger
Review
Ranger wrote a review · Sun Sep 29, 2024 9:17 pm

Hey there Polt!

I came upon this while reviewing and it grabbed my attention! I had a wonderful time reading it and decided to give it some reflection so without further ado, let's get into it!

The World
Ooooo we start out with an already ominous scene, setting the stage for the characters. The dead of night and a church at the end of the road already creates an eerie and ominous feel along with later on, the iron gates and shadowy doorway. I love how this adds to the introduction of Ash and really helps paint the portrait of him. Other then that though, seeing as this is mainly centered on the characters, there's not too much description of the world around. Maybe a bit more of describing the church of the look of the iron gate could have helped here to immerse readers more in the world. Leaving it how it is is always an option too as it gives more imaginative options! Just some thoughts!

The Characters
Now to move onto the characters! Both Redd and Ash are very diverse! From their bickering and tenseness I can tell they have a history of some sort or another with each other. The fear in Ash as well heightens my curiousity in their relationship. They seem to know each other very well and at the end, I love the little banter they have back and forth. The last word seems to trail off leaving a feeling that there could be space for either more and a continuation or simply the end.

Overall,
I loved the darker and ominuos feel throughout the whole thing while keeping characters interesting and rich but also relateable! Ash and Redd's conversation keeps it a more fast paced attention while still leaving room for actions, emotions, and feelings, all while still keeping a darker background feel! It was amazing to read this and felt very rich while also keeping it short and sweet.

I hope that helps in someway or another! I had a great time reading and reviewing it and hope you have an equally great day!

Until we meet again!
-Ranger

User avatar
CrimsonTears
Review

hello hello fellow writer! Happy review day! It is me, Sky and once again i have stumbled across an amazing piece that deserves a review! Let's get into it shall we??

First of all I love the title! I feel like there are so many stories out there in the world that lack an interesting title. Titles are so important as that is the first thing the reader will see! Saying that, I think this title is well done and it sparks a lot of curiosity in me to find out the meaning to it!

If I never say the type of story this was (fanfiction/supernatural), this one sentence is all i needed to know something weird and spooky is going on

The church stood ominously at the end of the road, towering far above the lone figure standing in the middle of the road, staring up at it

"ominously" and "towering" and "lone figure" are such perfect words to give a feel for the story!

The relationship between Reddons and Ashwag is obviously very tense. This causes me to wonder what happened or how they are related. What i mean, is that are they not only friends, but brothers?

The vampire bit down harshly on his lips, putting a hand on the gate and pushing it open.

oop okay perhaps not lol.

BUT VAMPIRES! YES!!!!
I love how you add the fact that iron burned his skin. I feel like so many details about vampires are left out and are not well known when people write about them. For example, Twilight. There is nothing that has to do with the common lore of vampires except for the fact that they drink blood! I'm so glad that you know more about vampires and wanted to share those important details about the species(?)!!
Even walking on holy ground is often overlooked. We hear stories of people throwing holy water at them when honestly you can be quite safe in a church.

It would be worth it, if he could just make it into the church-

This makes the story feel like there is a seek for revenge! Very interesting! I'm not sure why there is a dash on the end of this sentence though...

I love how you describe the falling of Reddons' body as he continues to walk towards the church. All the details from the sight, feel, and even smell are so important!!

WHOA. Ashwag MADE Reddon?? This story just keeps on continuing to be fascinating!!

This is such a crucial detail that anyone can add to their character and I love that you did!
The bitter ozone and rose scent he’d always associated with the creator was tainted with the sweet, sweet smell of fear.

Not many can describe a smell that their character would have. That isn't something that first comes to your mind when you're creating an amazing character. But the fact that you did shows me that you've put a lot of thought into these characters to the point that Reddon's scent is like a rose.

“...communist…”
I can imagine here is Reddon's last words. It hurts to see that this is the end of the story but I will admit that I found it extremely fascinating and you held my interest to the very end!!

My only suggestion is to maybe add more detail of Reddon's voice towards the end? As he was nearing death, was his voice breathless, almost a whisper, harsh or crackling?

I hope to read more stories like this from you and I also hope you have a wonderful day/night!

Soar high and keep on writing!
-Sky



My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling, but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
— A.A. Milne