I am 413 and I have seen many things. I am just a simple oak nothing specia,l no flowers, fruits and i'm not native but you know I am the tallest tree in the forest, and I can see everything.
5:15 I was awakened by a loud noise not the early morning tractor but a small little thing with one man inside. i smelt the man as soon as he came out. i thought he was going for a wash in the pond but oh i was foolish. My brother not awakend by this loud peice of metal was peacefully sleeping as the man went into the trunk of his car.
He brought out an axe the size of his body and a chainsaw that could even cut down me. I started to worry I thought I should wake up my brother but then i thought not. Well after 413 years of making choices that was the best choice i ever made.
The man moved over to my neice my brother's daughter, and in one swift movement the axe went round his shoulder and right into the heart of my neice she screamed her silent scream. The thump on the ground when she fell vibrated me so much all my leaves fell even thought it was the middle of summer.
The man with a great sence of satisfaction walked off to his truck and drove off. I will never forget that day.
My brother woke up and he too lost his leaves not because of the vibration but because of sadness he was crying. My neice however wasn't dead.
Her trunk, her leaves, her branches were all gone but not her stump. She was still there. Alive.
The next few days were sad. I couldn't look at the little stump without feeling sad. But one day a little green sprout caught my eye. Out of the middle of my neices trunk there was a green sprout. I couldn't hold my excitement I had to tell everyone about my neices great recovery.
The next few months were slow, my neice slowly growing stronger. After 8 months she was a 2m tall tree the same size as some of my grandchildren and I knew she would grow fast.
Never in my life have I ever seen a cutting, but the world is a rappidly growing place and things change quickly. I have seen fields trun in to houses, houses truned in to sky scrapers and sky scrapers turned in to world renouned toruist destinations. My life has been pretty boring, nothing like this has ever happened, but I can see that we are going to have to put up with change, move on and work together. Because things aren;t always going to be the same.
20 years later.
I woke up feeling ticklish something was touching my roots, but then I realised what it was it was my neices roots.
And now my brother, my neice and I stand together in one line.
Because Beckiw and Cadi most likely summed up everything that was needed to be fixed, i don't have anything to add to that. Anyhow, I found this oddly interesting. I really liked the concept of the story. I don't think I've come across a story like this before which is good because they're really hard to find. I kinda wish this was a bit longer really. Other than that, great write and well done.
Hey pinkrose 
Welcome to YWS! I hope you're enjoying yourself. Remember to have a look around at other people's work when you have the time. It's the best way to make friends quick by trading reviews. That's how I did it!
There were a fair few grammar mistakes in this piece. The most glaring one is that you didn't always capitalise your I's so I would suggest going through and correcting that. Also, sometimes you didn't put full stops where there ought to be full stops.
For example - 'My name is Pat I am 413 and I have seen many things I am just a simple oak nothing special no flowers fruits and i'm not native but you know well, I know that i am the tallest tree in the forest I can see everything.'
That opening should be written like this - 'My name is Pat. I am 413 and I have seen many things. I am just a simple oak, nothing special, no flowers or fruits and I'm not native but you know well, I know that I am the tallest tree in the forest. I can see everything.
Also the bit 'but you know well, I know I am the tallest tree in the forest.' Doesn't really make sense? I'm not sure what you're trying to say there.
But grammar is very important to help the reader along. If you don't put the right punctuation in then it can confuse the reader. So try working on that. Have a look around the Writing Tips forum. There are some good articles there.
On a random note. Why did you decide to call the tree Pat? I like the idea of telling a story from a tree's point of view and looking at the world in a different way. It's interesting and refreshing. Pat just seems like a very...human name. I think that kind of takes away from it a little. When someone says Pat I imagine a sixty year old lady...not a tree. Maybe try another name or indeed no name at all. That could work nicely. Maybe trees don't have names for each other.
And finally, I think you need to extend this piece. The end was a little rushed. Like Cadi, I wanted to know how the niece managed to cling on to life because the way you wrote it, it sounded like she'd been full on felled by that guy. I also want to know more about Pat's history. In 413 years she must've seen a lot! Maybe a bit more perspective on the human world around her would be nice. Maybe she has distaste for it? Or curiosity? Things like that.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing you around the site. You obviously have a very refreshing out look on the world.
If you have any questions or need any help then feel free to PM me
Bex x
Hey there, pinkrose!
I've never read anything from a tree's point of view before, so this was new and cool. It's a really interesting idea to try and work out how a living thing so different from us might view events that we think are normal or routine.
I think that it would be really great to delve a little deeper into how the tree's perspective is different from a person's. Pat has been around for 413 years - have they known family members to be cut down before? If they have, do they now accept it as a thing that happens, or is it still something that causes grief?
I'd also be interested to know a bit more about how Pat's niece survives! Is it because her stump is still there, even though her trunk and branches and things are gone? You say her roots shrivel up - how does she grow back from that? And Pat and Pat's brother thought she was dead, right? Maybe you could tell us a bit more about their shock and joy when she turns out to still be alive.
In general, I think this is a nice little story about a snapshot of Pat's life, but it would be really good if you could bring a little more emotion into it - rather than having Pat just tell us what happened, let us know how Pat felt about it all. That way, the reader really feels involved in the story.
If you've got any questions, or if you'd like me to do a spelling-and-grammar check, or if you just want to chat, please feel free to drop me a message! Otherwise, happy writing!
Cadi x
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