Young Writers Society

This is what I call a nonsense poem.

Total nonsense, but quite amusing, a good children's poem. However I'm not sure if kerfuffle is a word. . . . not it turns out it is! But I have no idea what it means!

Nice.

It's well written though, nice rhyming! Good grammar (What else) and spelling (Duh for you).

Keep it up!

(I'm feeling boreder than ever).

It's good, for a children story I suppose. A bit sad that the pig died.
I wouldn't suggest your calling being poems about pigs, though. If you put effort into it, I feel as if you could truly write a decent song.
This song is catchy, it's just not very interesting. I see a lot of potential in you. I can't wait to see you post some more.

(P.S. find something catchy and interesting and you'll go so much farther. the song all together is very decently written, though!)

Hi, GPG! Here's the one thing that's weird about this poem for me: you keep switchin' up the rhyme scheme. In the first stanza of this, it's nice and straight forward: ABCB. I like it. I was groovin' with the rhythm of it, sitting here and bouncing and letting my head move back and forth.

Lo! And how disappointed was I when suddenly you threw at me an AABC stanza. Not only is it a different rhyme scheme, because of the weird change in meter, too, it throws off the whole swinging feeling. Your chorus, though, is lovely. The meter is swinging, somehow kind of double the snappiness of "my name is polly/ i am a pig".

So let's list the stanzas that don't work for me:
the truffles/snuffles, the truffle/kerfluffle don't work for me because of changed rhyme scheme. The pork/spring stanza would work for me if you added two syllables to the pig line. Like "I was a naughty pig", then it would match the meter in the parsley spring line.

So that means I totally vote for the spring line instead of the ham line. I'd like a couple more stanzas, though, I think! I'd like to see this lovely Polly rooting around for the truffles. What kind of environment is she in? Is she really punished just for eating a mushroom thing?!

Love you~

Hello there guine! Dogs here with your review today . I'm not the best at lyrics but I'll give you the best I have . I think this is an adorable idea for lyrics, I really like the wording that you use. Although I certainly thing it would be far more effective if you odn't have "my name is polly/ I am a pig" in every single line. It gets a little too repetitive even through the common repitivity of songs. (also terribly sorry for any spelling errors I have in this review. My spell check isn't working writing now).

Lets dive in shall we? Ok so cute way to start but i think when you say: "and with my snout/ I like to dig" It's a little too simple and plain. You could certainly use some more exciting words to help out there, that dig and pig part just sounds a little too forced.

I like the second stanza, I think that's adorable. Snuffles :3 haha thats just such a cute word... that and snuggles. Sorry back on topic now...

Ok it is usually impressive if you use rhyme and use it smoothly in your writing, but rhyming a word with the same word loses the effect of rhyming. It makes the rhythm choppy. It seems like the two sentences in that third stanza are really the exact same thing.

Cute fifth stanza but it seems to be giong on the same path: I'm a pig, I like truffles, I can't eat them. I find truffles... I can't eat them. It's a little too expected as to what I'm about to read.

I like your alternative ending as the ending for this poem. I think thats sad and cute and funny at the same time. Is that cynical that I think that's funny...? Not the idea but just the wording is a tad on the whimsical side of life. Anywho! I think this is a good idea with a little bit of editing you'll be rearing to go! Let me know if you ever need a review, Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh

This is clever, if a little bit morbid. I like the way you alternate starting and ending the verses with "My name is Polly/I am-was a pig." It gives more variety that just doing one or the other. It is kind of weird that your rhyme scheme changes from verse to verse, but that also gives more variety than just one thing, so I think I like it. I am not sure though, if find and time were supposed to be a slant rhyme, or if you were using eat as your rhyme, which is a little weird. Overall, nice job! Oh, and definitely the first one.