z

Young Writers Society



Conversations With Literature

by Dingobabee


The smell of anesthetic burned my nostrils as I tugged at the leather restraint on my wrist. The white washed walls seemed closer than they really were, and the bed was unyielding and scantly sheeted. It was, in short, very annoying.

“This is your fault” I muttered through the sedatives “You and your stupid book have officially ruined my life.”

You are the one who pulled out the iron potato.

“It’s called a knife… and you could have warned me that the book’s keeper was coming before he thwacked my head.” I mumbled. They were probably going to send the doctor in again to ask me if the voice had left.

Dr.Gregorovich came through the door and smiled at me in what was surely meant to be a reassuring way.

“How are you this morning Audrey? Has the Voice bothered you again? You know you aren’t supposed to listen, it’s not real.” He told me as he went about checking me over to make sure I hadn’t somehow hurt myself.

“Yeah, try telling him that,” I said, my voice cracking slightly as I sat up as much as the strap would allow. “He’s quite insistent on his existence and has been ever since I met him.”

Dr. Gregorovich shook his head, “Maybe so, Audrey, maybe so. However, you know what listening to the voice got you, where it got you,” he said, motioning to the room around him.

Tch.

“Richard attacked me first,” I said regretfully, remembering the events leading up to my incarceration.

“You were in his house, in his library, stealing books, Audrey. His actions were those of self defense, and then you stabbed him when he tried to take his book back,” Dr. Gregorovich said patiently, though he’d already explained his view to me.

“The book was- is evil. I was protecting him, trying to save the world from its influence,” I said tugging on the strap absentmindedly.

Dr. Gregorovich smiled a condescending smile, “And what, my dear, could a book do to harm anyone?”

“More than you might think…” I said bitterly

Dr. Gregorovich shook his head sadly, “Audrey, a book is an inanimate object, the only harm it can do is what you make it do, what you use it to do.”

“Not that one… it is different, dangerous…” I said as Dr. Gregoriovich checked my blood pressure and heart rate.

Dr. Gregorovich just shook his head as he marked the results down on my chart, “We can talk more about this later Audrey, I have to go check on other patients, Ian somehow managed to injure himself yet again.”

Placing the pen up behind his ear, he turned and walked to the door. He opened it and stepped out. I was sure she heard something clink onto the floor as he closed it behind him again. I glanced over and saw the doctor’s ebony pen, which had fallen from where he had put it and landed on her side of the door. I glanced up to make sure that the doctor had really gone without realizing his loss, but he was truly gone. For now…

I tried to reach it, but it was much too far away. The annoying leather strap kept me back much too far from the pen. I tugged at it in annoyance a few times, and the last tug it seemed to give a little. I inspected it- it appeared that the doctor had accidentally forgotten to tighten it all the way after checking my blood pressure. I managed to wiggle the strap off of my wrist with a little bit of persistence, and before long I was able to let it go and watch it fall to the floor limply. I was free.

Well, at least you managed to do something right.

“Shut up…” I murmured as I picked up the pen and inserted it into the lock. It took some fiddling, but finally the lock clicked. I eased open the door and peeked into the hall. It was satisfyingly empty.

All right, go left, and when you get to the end of the hall take a right. Oh, and try to avoid stepping on the yellow-

My foot landed on a small sickly yellow tile and an alarm shrieked through the building and I began running franticly through the hall in hopes that nothing had been blocked off.

Way to go, stupid… Now, turn around and take the first right, if you want to get out of here.

I did what the voice said and twirled on my heels, but as I rounded the corner, a large metal door blocked my path and I could hear doctors and nurses coming down the hall after me. “What now” I asked searching franticly for an escape route… there! I leapt and grabbed a small rod that was holding the temporary wall in place and barely made it through the gap. I kept running and as I desperately searched for another turn or somewhere I could hide until they stopped looking, I crashed into someone….

“Whoa, you alright there?” A voice asked and I looked up to see a young man with fiery red hair and green eyes. “My names Billy,” He introduced himself, “Tomorrow it will be Bob, then afterwards maybe Joe or Billy again. I’m not really sure yet.” He told me proudly.

“Nice to meet you.” I mumbled as I tried to dart past him.

Billy caught my arm and held me there, “What’s the rush lady? Not like the doc’s know you made it through the evil metal door.”

“Look, you’re nice and all, but I need to get out of here as soon as possible.” I said gently removing his hand from my arm.

Billy shrugged, “Alright then I guess, mind telling me why if I’m going to have to cover for you when they ask?”

This is a waste of time. Get moving.

“Don’t tell them that you saw me” I said as I sprinted down the hallway desperately, at least I was still in shape…

Down the hallway to the left is the exit.

I scowled because when I turned to the left, I saw dozens of doctors and nurses all milling about checking medical supplies…. Crap…

Dr. Gregorovich looked at me in shock, “Audrey?” He asked before shaking himself forcibly out of it and ordering the nurses to catch me. “She’s dangerous when armed and has killed before, she cannot escape!” He told them and they raced after me as I fled down the hallway towards the door that held my freedom.

Oops… must have been the other hallway…

“Oh really” I seethed unhappily as I burst through the door and stopped, I was too late. The world was burning, literally on fire before my eyes, the ground was stripped of all life and a deep red color, the asylum was the only building standing and the sky was thick with dark clouds probably there because of all of the smoke. “You told me that I still had time…” I choked out.

Cold laughter peeled through my mind. The voice was happy?

The only person who could have possibly stopped me, and I was able to get them safely locked away in a place for the insane… How, satisfying…

Dr. Gregorovich ran outside to see Audrey slumped on the ground, he quickly ordered the nurses to bring her back inside. Maybe in time they could help her to overcome this…


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
67 Reviews


Points: 610
Reviews: 67

Donate
Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:14 pm
Auxiira wrote a review...



Hey Dingobabee! Auxiira here to save your work from the Outer Lands!

I can't find anything wrong with this, it's just so good!

I love that the Voice calls the knife an "iron potato". It reminds me of that time where my little brother got his hands on a potato gun...

ANYHOW. I like this. The Voice is really realistic and sounds eeeevil at the end of the story and I'd love to know more about this story! Where is it going? What is the book that she talks about and who is Billy/Bob/Joe?

I'd love to keep on reading!
Keep on writing!
Auxiira^^




Dingobabee says...


Thank you for the review ^^
Unfortunately, this was all I wrote and I think all I will write on this subject.



User avatar
560 Reviews


Points: 30438
Reviews: 560

Donate
Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:37 pm
Tenyo wrote a review...



Hey there!

Forgive me for not giving you a thorough review.

I don't know if this was written like this or if yws ate the formatting, but you should always check that your work is readable before and after you've posted it (or do a test print, if writing under a different medium.) I couldn't actually read the whole of this because the formatting really hurt my head. The mind has to concentrate a lot more on following the text which means it's harder to actually take in what's being said, and the eyes are made to scoot around a page, not to follow such strict, tight lines.

As for what I could read, I think you could do with more description. You could include some to break up the streams of dialogue nearer the beginning.

"though he???d already explained "- I don't know what happened here, but that needs to be fixed.

On a positive, I love Billy's introduction. It's an interesting quirk to change names every day, so I like him instantly. Another thing I noticed is that though your writing is dominated by dialogue and verbs, in those verbs and actions you have quite an impressive command of vocabulary, so keep that up.

Hope this helps. Do watch for formatting, it's probably the reason you don't yet have any reviews.




Dingobabee says...


Yeah, I don't know what happened. I copied and pasted this from Word and most of my punctiation and all my quotation marks were turned into question marks and my paragraphing was taken out.... I couldn't see the whole thing either so... yeah. Glad you liked Billy though :) thanks for reviewing.



Dingobabee says...


Glad to say that I was able to repost this with Paragraphing and better punctuation. :) Hope you like it better.




“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.”
— Richard Siken